Mission: Kiss Me Deadly
by DixieGoddess
Summary: Iruka has been assigned a new mission involving the lips of several of the villages most elite jounin. Poor, shy 'Ruka! Kakairu
1. Chapter 1

Hopefully, this will be interesting. - Definitely something new, eh?

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto... the end.

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Iruka Umino, being a pre-genin schoolteacher, was rarely assigned missions. And when he did receive missions, they were usually C-ranked, seeing as how he obviously didn't have much time in his busy schedule to keep up his field training on a regular basis. Not to mention, he couldn't leave his classes unattended too long. So when Iruka was called into the fifth Hokage's office one sunny and seemingly peaceful afternoon, only a few weeks before academy exams, the chuunin was quite shocked to be handed a B-ranked scroll.

Had he been one to regularly question authority, like Naruto, Iruka would have called the Hokage crazy right then and there. Not only was exam time drawing near and he needed to be there with his students every day, but Iruka had also just been released from the hospital after exhausting himself to the point of collapsing. Not that he wanted any special treatment or anything - it was his own fault he hadn't taken care of himself, and he had made a point of not wasting any more time out of commission than necessary - but really, a B-rank?

However, he squished his apprehension to the back of his mind and accepted the scroll with serious and silent dignity like a good shinobi should.

Good-Shinobi Demeanor dropped almost instantly when he read the contents of said scroll.

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Tsunade calmly picked at her already-well-groomed fingernails as she waited for Iruka to regain his ability to speak. It had already been an amusing ten minutes of Speechless-Iruka, looking a bit like a rag doll that would collapse any moment, and she curiously wondered how much longer he could keep it up. Hey, the longer he took up her time, the longer she could put off her paperwork.

She was shaken from her regalement, however, by the sound of Iruka's nervous laughter. This certainly hadn't been what she had expected. Knowing the chuunin's temper could easily be set off under distinct circumstances, she had expected some sort of outburst from the man. Had she actually made him snap? He had just gotten out of the hospital, but his mental health couldn't be _that_ close to the edge, could it? A worried look took over Tsunade's face. _'Oh gods, I've destroyed one of the only sane shinobi I had left!'_

Iruka idly tossed the scroll back to the stunned Hokage who caught it on reflex. "Very amusing, Lady Hokage. You had me there for a minute." The chuunin smiled good-naturedly at the still-silent woman. "If that's all you wanted, I really must be going now."

As the brunette turned to leave, a wicked smile found its way onto Tsunade's face. Iruka hadn't snapped; he just thought it was a joke. Oh-ho-ho... How precious. The blonde woman stood from her desk, grinning so widely it was a wonder her skin didn't crack. "Ah, Iruka-sensei... I'm afraid this is no joke." She reached across her desk, grabbing a retreating hand and spinning the young man around while placing the scroll back in his palm. "This is a special mission for you." She sat back down, smile still in place, as Iruka gaped down at his hand. He had returned to speechless mode.

However, this one didn't last as long, as Iruka attempted to smile again. It ended up looking more like he was having a stroke, but the poor chuunin was now so nervous beyond all comprehension, he was lucky his facial muscles worked at all. "Lady Hokage... surely, you _can't_ be serious about this. This isn't a mission..."

"Oh, but it is, Iruka-sensei."

Iruka's face suddenly contorted. Ah... here was the temper-tantrum. "NO!" The outburst had definitely been expected but a violent chucking of a scroll back at her face, had not. The Hokage flinched in surprise as the paper hit her forehead and bounced onto the desk. Iruka stuttered a bit and quickly bowed. "I'm so sorry, Lady Hokage! I really am sorry! It's just... NO!" the brunette choked out desperately.

Recovering from the initial shock of being slightly attacked by a chuunin, Tsunade replaced her evil grin. "Iruka-sensei, I respect your opinions, but I _am_ the Hokage, and this _is_ a mission that _I _am assigning to _you_."

"That's not a mission!" Iruka shouted, pointing accusingly at the innocent-looking scroll. "That's somebody's idea of a sick joke!"

"Now, now, Iruka-sensei. The Hidden Leaf village receives missions every day. The requests can range from babysitting to assassinations. And some are-"

"Absolutely ridiculous!"

"The point is, a client is a client, and a request is a request. And as long as a client is willing to pay a certain price, the shinobi of Hidden Leaf are pretty much required to carry out their missions without complaint."

"B-but..."

"And we have actually been offered quite a sum for the completion of this mission. Considering the price put on this mission, I doubt the person is merely joking."

"Surely, there has to be someone better than me for this mission, Lady Hokage. One of the female jounin, such as Kurenai or Anko. Yes, Anko! She would love this mission!"

"So sorry, Iruka-sensei, but _you_ are the only one for this mission. And my reasons are confidential."

"Lady Hokage-"

"Tell me, Iruka-sensei, what would you have done had the third Hokage given you this mission?"

"I would have thrown it back in his face too!"

"Hmm... well, the point is, you're not getting out of this as long as _I'm_ Hokage.

Iruka slowly picked up the scroll, which he was positive was emitting a satanic aura, and unrolled it again. His eyes scanned the list of names. "Every single person on here is a jounin," he stammered, as though this would really have some sort of impact on the Hokage's mentality.

If possible, Tsunade's smile simply widened. "That's why it's a B-rank."

"But my classes-"

"This mission has no time limit, Iruka-sensei. And it's an in-village mission. You'll have plenty of time to continue devoting to your students."

Iruka could think of no other argument except he was sure he would rather gouge his face with broken glass and pour alcohol into the open wounds than go through with this mission.

Tsunade, sensing she had won, waved serenely at Iruka. "I'll check in with you periodically, Iruka-sensei. You're dismissed."

Iruka turned to leave the office halfway between a stupor and a hysterical breakdown.

"Oh, and Iruka-sensei! This mission is top-secret."

Iruka froze and stared at her. "Why –"

"Alright, sensei, scoot scoot! I have… uh… work to do, and so do you!"

Iruka turned and started out the door again.

"Remember, Iruka-sensei," the Hokage's way-too-cheerful voice called from behind him. "Have fun with this one!" She giggled.

Iruka half-groaned, half-growled under his breath as he closed the door behind him.

As he stepped out into the sunshine that told countless lies of what a glorious day it was, Iruka opened his mission scroll again.

_**B-Rank Mission #39375937-592202-6946234-79**_

_**Kiss and record the specifics of each kiss including a 1-10 rating from each of the following men:**_

_**Genma Shiranui  
Raidou Namiashi  
Asuma Sarutobi  
Jiraiya  
Ebisu  
Gai Maito  
Ibiki Morino  
Kakashi Hatake**_

Iruka's chest lurched and he really thought he might cry from the sheer embarrassment that merely picturing these scenarios in his head was bringing.

The last name especially stood out. _Kakashi..._ _Is the Hokage completely insane?_

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Told ya it was something new, huh? If you enjoyed, please review

**DixieGoddess**


	2. Chapter 2

O.O Wow. I just want to thank everybody so much for the reviews! I was so happy to get so much positive feedback! Hopefully I won't let you down. The beginning of this chapter... actually most of this chapter is rather boring, but I promise it's just setup for the rest of the story.

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Iruka supposed he should have gone home immediately so he could calm down in private. And after he had sedated himself with a cup of tea and a few good whacks to the pressure points on his head, he could start strategizing. (He may as well, since it was obvious the Hokage had no intention of relieving the poor schoolteacher of this humiliating mission.) However, Iruka – being more than a little out of it by this point – was sitting on the ground, propped up by a bush.

Passersby stared at the chuunin with the glazed-over look, wondering why one of the most respectable shinobi in the village was currently resting in the dirt, but they didn't disturb him. And the chuunin was left to ponder in peace. Well, as much peace as his tormented mind allowed him.

Of course the first strategy to pop into Iruka's head was to ask. While the idea of just walking up to the jounin and saying 'Hey, guys, you might think this is a little nutty, but I have to kiss you all for this mission, so if you could just form an orderly line...' would have been rather embarrassing, it would have been the best course of action. But he couldn't if it was top secret. _Why_ it would be top secret, the chuunin couldn't even begin to fathom. He had the sneaking suspicion that the Hokage was just trying to make his job harder.

The next plan, that could be implemented within a single day, was to simply pounce the men on the list and then run away. But they were all jounin. He'd end up with fewer limbs or his neck twisted the wrong way if he surprised any of them. That wasn't a good idea.

Besides, any plan that involved kissing them quickly wouldn't work. The mission was not only to kiss them but to record the specifics of each kiss and a 1-10 rating. Iruka wasn't quite sure _what_, exactly, 'specifics' was supposed to mean. Did they want a breath-rating or something?

And who was this 'they'? Who on earth could have requested this mission? Was it one of the weird women in the village who had a ninja obsession? Iruka had met a few of those in his lifetime - the women that weren't ninjas but had an unhealthy attachment to them. Did one of them know they had no chance to have the opportunity to kiss these elite shinobi so they were sending someone else to live out their fantasies and record everything for them? This seemed like the most logical reason Iruka could think of for anyone to request such a strange mission.

But why did the Hokage insist that _he_ was the only one for the job? One of the female jounin would have been much better suited for this.

Maybe it was a guy who had requested the mission? And he wanted another guy's perspective? But still! He couldn't believe the Hokage had turned down his offer to switch this mission with Anko! She would have been so good at this! And after all was said and done, who was really going to dwell on it? 'Oh, Anko's been going around making out with a bunch of guys? Oh well, tell me something new.'

But if Iruka was caught doing it… rumors would fly and his reputation of a well-mannered, respectable shinobi would be tarnished forever. Surely, the Hokage had thought about this? How could she do this to one of her most reliable ninja? Damn sadistic woman.

Iruka suddenly brightened as an idea struck him. What if they didn't know it was _him_? And what if there was some genjutsu that any man would fall for?

"No, dammit!" He pounded a fist into his head for even thinking such a thing. No way in hell was he going to sink to using Naruto's Sexy Jutsu! Mainly because that would involve _asking_ Naruto to teach him.

Perhaps Iruka was going about this the wrong way. Maybe there wasn't a sure-fire way to get a kiss from everybody. He would have to examine each jounin carefully and figure out a new strategy for each person.

Iruka tapped his now-closed mission scroll against his outstretched leg, mentally going over the list of jounin he was supposed to be locking lips with.

**Genma Shiranui**

Well, Genma might not be so difficult. The man definitely wasn't a prude. As a matter of fact, the special jounin had teasingly flirted with Iruka in the mission room on more than one occasion. Then again, he did that with everyone. It might not be surprising to him that Iruka should kiss him, but then he might start thinking that Iruka took his flirting seriously and actually liked him. Then Genma would give Iruka some 'I'm flattered but I just want to be friends' speech that the chuunin did not think he could sit through.

Oh well – cross Genma off the list for now. He'd come back to him later.

**Raidou Namiashi**

Now that just seemed wrong to Iruka. Raidou was way too nice to be dragged into the middle of this depraved mission. Though – not that he was full of himself or anything – Iruka thought he could say the same thing about himself. Raidou had never flirted with Iruka, so he would be slightly more surprised than Genma if Iruka just walked up and started smooching him. But Raidou would probably follow the same train of thought as Genma and give Iruka 'The Just Friends' Speech. As many times as Iruka had suffered through The Just Friends Speech, he had never had to hear it from someone he didn't actually have feelings for – and in his opinion, the misunderstanding would probably be more embarrassing.

**Asuma Sarutobi**

Iruka could not honestly say he knew the man well enough to predict a reaction. If he could make a guess from what little information he had, he'd say Asuma would probably just sit there confused, and, after Iruka had run off, ask around the village to see if anybody knew what the hell was going on. In spite of the fact that it would be pretty easy to get a kiss out of Asuma, the humiliation of everyone else finding out wasn't what was making the teacher hesitate about this one.

Although it wasn't official yet, it was pretty common knowledge, even to the chuunin, that Asuma was Kurenai's. If Asuma told even one person about the kiss, it would eventually leak back to the female ninja. Now, Kurenai seemed like a fairly nice and even-tempered person. But people didn't become jounin by being docile and shy. There had to be a spark in her somewhere, and Iruka was afraid to set it off. Not only could he cause her to be upset with Asuma and ruin all hopes of them ever achieving a real relationship, but what if she came after _him_? Angry female shinobi could be downright terrifying.

Then again, maybe she wouldn't get angry. She'd just become sad. And that was something Iruka didn't want to put anybody through.

The chuunin sighed out loud. Asuma was a complicated case. He'd have to postpone thinking on that one too.

**Jiraiya**

Dear gods, this was somebody's idea of a very sick joke. No, it wouldn't be difficult at all to lure that pervert into a kiss. Iruka was fairly sure he would kiss even guys if they looked girly enough. (Not that he liked admitting he was 'girly' but it _was_ true.) It was just the apprehension that once Jiraiya got started… would he stop? How the hell would he be able to escape someone with Jiraiya's skill level if the pervert decided he wasn't finished with the schoolteacher yet? Iruka shuddered.

**Ebisu**

Ew. Now Iruka knew that was a mean thing to think about the elite shinobi. But that was the thought that instantly sprang to mind. It wasn't that Ebisu was ugly or anything – if Iruka was going to be fair, he was actually attractive in a weird sort of way – but there was just something about the man that made him cringe when he thought of anything remotely intimate with him. It might not have been so bad if he didn't have Naruto's words about Ebisu being a closet pervert ringing in his head. The chuunin didn't know whether or not to believe Naurto's claims (he _did _have a tendency to stretch the truth a bit) but the thought would, nevertheless, not leave his mind. Maybe he should just stop thinking about it for awhile.

**Gai Maito**

Gods, that was even more disturbing than Ebisu and Jiraiya – put together! The guy wore spandex for crying out loud! Bright green spandex! And he had even brainwashed one of his students into copying his every characteristic!

Iruka quickly tried to empty his mind of any thoughts concerning kissing Gai. He just wasn't ready to digest that one without severe mental damage.

**Ibiki Morino**

Had Iruka ever even talked to the interrogation expert? Perhaps he had at one point – he tried to be a cheerful guy to everyone – but he really couldn't recall at the moment when or where any meeting between them might have occurred. Well, that would be more than a little awkward. What would Ibiki do if some chuunin schoolteacher he had never even spoken to or remembered speaking to just came up and started molesting his mouth? Iruka paled a bit as he figured that Ibiki would probably freak out, tie him down, and start interrogating him about it. He had heard of the man's mental tactics and really wanted to stay as far away from them as he possibly could.

Iruka's heart rate sped up to triple time when he realized he had reached the last name on his list.

**Kakashi Hatake**

While the idea of kissing Genma and Raidou was embarrassing, the thought of kissing Asuma, Ibiki, or Jiraiya was scary, and the image of kissing Gai or Ebisu was downright disturbing, nothing could compare to the thought of kissing the legendary copy-ninja. Hell, Iruka couldn't even _picture_ what kissing Kakashi would be like because he had no idea what his damn lower face looked like. It's very difficult to imagine yourself locking lips with lips that you've never seen.

How in the seven hells did Tsunade expect Iruka to get under that mask? It was known throughout the entire village and even outside the village, that Kakashi Hatake did not reveal his face to just anyone. Iruka had once heard a claim from the two Ramen shop owners that they had seen Kakashi's face for a few moments when he lowered the mask to eat. But thus far, no more declarations of the sort had come from anyone else. Not even other restaurant owners. So it was quite obvious that this had probably been a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence.

The only other instance that Iruka could comprehend Kakashi taking off his mask in was in the shower. But what good did that do him? What was he supposed to do? Rip open the jounin's shower curtain, kiss him, say 'thank you for your time' and disappear? Not only was that ridiculous but, knowing the other man's reflexes, Iruka would probably end up with his head through a wall before he could even get near Kakashi's lips if he startled him like that. The teacher would probably wind up with serious bodily damage if he tried to catch Kakashi by surprise in any sort of situation – just like with any other jounin.

The only thing Iruka could think of was to try to get Kakashi to lower his mask because _he_ was going to kiss someone. And the chances of Iruka ever being able to seduce him into doing such a thing were slim to none. Despite common knowledge that Kakashi was known as the village pervert, with his head always buried in his smut novels, Iruka could not remember _ever _seeing or hearing of him being in any sort of relationship. If Kakashi wasn't looking for any sort of attachment – and Iruka was sure he wasn't – how was _he_, of all people, supposed to change that?

Kakashi hated him. Well, if anyone ever asked the copy-nin that, he would probably deny it and say he didn't _hate_ anybody, but Iruka knew it was true. Now, lately the eccentric jounin had taken to popping up around Iruka as though he were actually interested in talking with him, but somehow, any attempt at polite conversation always ended on a bad note. The jounin always made it seem like he just turned up to chat, but in the end, Iruka knew he was just mocking him. The chuunin wondered why the other man even bothered coming around. Wasn't there anyone else he could verbally harass?

Iruka growled to himself. His thoughts had obviously taken a turn off of the mission. He didn't even _want_ to seduce Kakashi. If Kakashi didn't like him, he didn't like the jounin either! And if he _did_ try to seduce Kakashi for the sake of the mission, there was a good chance that the copy-nin would take his advances seriously and find it amusing that Iruka 'liked him'. The poor teacher could just hear the laughter ringing in his ears now.

Iruka's free hand flew up to clutch at the bridge of his nose as he felt a massive headache coming on. "I knew this was going to be difficult the moment I laid eyes on it, but now it just seems _impossible_!" The Hokage's words of '_That's why it's a B-rank_' floated dauntingly around in his head.

"Unnnnnnh… this isn't fair! What did I do to deserve this?" The brunette flopped backwards, breaking through to the other side of his bushes.

"Deserve what, Iruka?"

The teacher's eyes snapped open and he visibly paled as he found himself staring up at the inverted image of his most posing problem. A single eye poked over the top of a hideously orange book to stare at him questioningly. "Kakashi-sensei…"

The eye curved slightly in a smile. "We've been through this, Iruka. You can just call me Kakashi."

Iruka quickly regained himself and tried to look annoyed, as he usually would be. "And we've also been through _this_, Kakashi. You can call me Iruka-_sensei_."

Kakashi's smile faded slightly and he looked a little put out. "Very well, Iruka-sensei."

The two men stared at each other silently for a few moments, Kakashi over the top of his porn and Iruka from a less-than-dignified position, on his back in the dirt. Finally, Kakashi cocked his head to the side a bit. "Did you get beat up or something?"

Iruka's eyebrow began to twitch. "Do I _look_ beat up? Where the hell did that question come from?"

"You're in a bush."

"So?"

"Well, I was just remembering this incident when I was a young boy. I was walking along, minding my own business when all of a sudden I heard the cry of a young damsel in distress. Being the gentlemanly and kind-hearted person I've always been, I approached the two boys who were picking on the little girl. However, they were older and bigger than me and the next thing I know… I'm in a bush."

Iruka stared up at Kakashi. "_You _got the crap beat out of you and thrown into a bush?"

The taller man thought a moment, then smiled again. "Yes, I guess any story where I get beaten is obviously a lie, huh?"

Iruka glared up at him. "Were you _really_ lying? Or are you just embarrassed now that you told me about you losing a fight?"

Kakashi smiled brightly. "I'll leave that to your imagination. You should really use that thing more often anyway."

Iruka sighed disgustedly, but was interrupted in whatever snappy comeback he may have made by a gloved hand in his face. "Aw, come on. I'm just joking, Iruka… _sensei_."

The schoolteacher froze and gazed at the hand in front of him. After a moment, his rage-filled face relaxed and he grabbed the other man's hand. Kakashi swiftly pulled him out of the bush and to his feet, good-naturedly brushing some of the clinging dirt off the chuunin's back. "Thank you, Kakashi-sensei," Iruka attempted to return to his polite self. After all, Kakashi hadn't really done anything _that_ rude or hostile yet.

Kakashi smiled, his eye curving. But he stopped smiling and instead peered curiously at the teacher as Iruka made to tuck his mission scroll into his vest. Being nosey, as is the nature of all jounin, Kakashi wasted no time in snatching the scroll right back out again. However, Iruka must have been expecting this, because he noticed immediately and reclaimed it before Kakashi had a chance to open it. "Don't touch my stuff."

Kakashi blinked in slight surprise at the chuunin's speed compared to his own. Yes, Iruka really must have been anticipating Kakashi making a grab for the scroll. There was no way the schoolteacher could have matched his reflexes otherwise. However, the copy-nin didn't dwell on this too long as now he was doubly curious as to what the Mysterious Iruka-sensei Scroll contained. "Is that a mission?"

"Yes." Iruka quickly stuffed the scroll into a deeper pocket that the grabby jounin would have a much harder time accessing.

"What is it?"

"None of your business." Iruka turned away and began walking, trying to hide the blush that had appeared on his face. But Kakashi had caught it and now his curiosity had reached a peak that caused him to do something he only did on very rare occasions.

Put away his porn.

Making a mental note of what page he was on, Kakashi tucked the little orange book into his pocket and sprinted to fall into stride with Iruka. "If you tell me, I may be able to help."

"I don't need help."

"If that mission is what I heard you complaining about, I'd say, yes you could use my help."

"That's not what I was talking about."

"Well, then, what were you talking about?"

Iruka skidded to a halt and faced Kakashi with a frustrated look. "Kakashi-sensei-"

"Kakashi," the jounin corrected brightly.

"Kakashi, I appreciate your…. _concern_, but this is a mission direct from the Hokage. Not only that, but it is top secret, and I've got it covered." With that, Iruka spun on his heel and continued his path back home.

Kakashi stood still for a minute, contemplating whether or not he should continue his pursuit. Usually, he wouldn't poke into people's missions, but anything that was assigned to a chuunin was fair game to his elite jounin business. Anyone of a higher rank could look into someone of a lower rank's missions, unless there were express orders from the Hokage not to. Apparently this was one of those cases. But seriously, how top secret could a mission assigned to a chuunin schoolteacher be?

Even if the chuunin couldn't tell him details, he could still get the gist out of him enough to be able to offer assistance. He was just trying to help… _really_.

"AH!"

Kakashi had poofed right in front of Iruka's face, and was leaning uncomfortably close. The teacher's breath hitched a little.

Kakashi lifted an eyebrow as Iruka tensed up and stared at him. There was a strange look upon his features as though he were trying to make a difficult decision. The new question about the chuunin's mission died in Kakashi's throat as he waited for Iruka to snap out of whatever La-La Land he was visiting.

Iruka had had every intention of yelling in Kakashi's face when he decided to appear right in front of him. But when he noticed their inviting position, his brain started working overtime. What if he kissed Kakashi right now? The other man was as off his guard as he would ever be. And Kakashi was a notorious liar. If Iruka did him first and then was careful about the others, there would be a good chance that no one would ever find out about this horrible mission! Who would believe Kakashi if he started going around telling people Iruka Umino, one of the most proper people in the village, had kissed him, Kakashi Hatake, the perverted fibber?

Their faces were so near to each other now that if he really wanted to, Iruka could probably reach up, yank that mask down, and plant one on Kakashi right here and now.

So that's just what he did.

Iruka's eyes regained clarity, but they took on a worried, hesitant look, and now the teacher seemed to be shaking faintly. Kakashi's eye widened vaguely in puzzlement. "Kakashi…" Iruka's voice was soft and wavered slightly. "Don't take this the wrong way, but…"

Before Kakashi could ask what was going on, the chuunin grabbed the edges of his mask, and yanked it all the way down, bringing his lips to the jounin's newly exposed ones.

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That's definitely not all there is to that scene - it is rated M for a reason - I promise. And I promise the next chapter won't be as boring. More action, more dialogue - all that good stuff. If you enjoyed, please review

**DixieGoddess**


	3. Chapter 3

Well, I'm glad that apparently the last chapter wasn't as boring as I thought. I know I promised more dialogue in this chapter... it's coming... I promise. But this chapter definitely has more action (smutty action, yay!), so hopefully that's enough for now. I love you all for reviewing!

This chapter should have been up a few days ago, but I went to Milwaukee's Summerfest three days in a row. It was only after I almost died in a Flogging Molly "drunken idiot mosh pit", that I decided it was time to stay home for awhile.

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When Kakashi Hatake had stepped out of his apartment early that morning, he had had every intention of trying to make it to training with his students no more than two and a half hours late. Usually he was at least three hours late for their meeting, but they had completed their missions so quickly and so well yesterday with minimal complaining, he felt the need to reward them a bit.

Of course, minimal complaining _and_ efficiency on all missions meant something was up with the three trainees, but as long as they weren't plotting against him, (He really hoped this had nothing to do with removing his mask again), and it didn't affect their teamwork, it was of no immediate concern. They would come to him with a group problem or work it out amongst themselves eventually. For now, he would enjoy the peaceful atmosphere – and part of maintaining that peaceful atmosphere was to try to keep them happy with him.

Anyways, he had gone to the memorial stone a little earlier than usual to be able to leave a little earlier than usual. And, by some miracle, he actually accomplished his goal!

The silver-haired jounin was just on his way to meet his team a half an hour early (still late, but early by _his_ standards), feeling pretty damn good about himself, when he noticed a familiar chakra signature nearby - Iruka.

Kakashi took a harsh turn from his route and ambled over to the bush he sensed Iruka's energy coming from. He froze, wondering if he should check on the teacher. It wasn't like Iruka to sit around in a bush. He would know – he had a slight habit of 'watching over' the chuunin.

It wasn't full-blown 'stalking'. It was just that Kakashi had a weird need to consistently check up on the people he cared about. He checked in on the few jounin that he was particularly fond of in the very early morning, his students he saw in the afternoon during training, and that left his favorite chuunin sensei to be watched over in the evening after he was relieved of mission desk duties. And ever since that incident, not too long ago, when Kakashi had been the one to take a collapsed, overworked Iruka to the hospital, the jounin felt he had every right to watch out for the schoolteacher.

Of course, Iruka didn't _know_ that it was Kakashi who had watched him pass out just as he reached his front door (making sure he got home safely) and had taken him to be treated. And Kakashi had made some pretty specific orders (aka: threats) around the hospital that nobody was to tell him. Now, seeing as how he had been trying to get Iruka's attention for quite some time now, it might seem like a good idea to gain the teacher's notice by being his savior. But Kakashi, being the genius that he was, had figured he would only _lose_ points instead of gain them if Iruka thought he had been stalking him. So he kept quiet.

Iruka hated him.

Iruka hated him because he thought Kakashi hated _him. _

And Kakashi really had no clue what to do about it. This predicament had been going on ever since the chuunin exams. The two had shared a tentative friendship beforehand, and it was actually Iruka's burst out of his ranking to talk back to him that got Kakashi to become interested in the teacher as more than a comrade. Unfortunately, it was the exact same incident that had caused Iruka to become _less_ interested in him as _anything_. Ok, so Kakashi had been a little harsh… but Iruka had been a little irritating. And then Iruka had been somewhat wrong about them being ready, and Kakashi had also been somewhat wrong about their safety, so, in the jounin's mind, they should be even.

But Iruka was still determined that Kakashi hated him, so he continued to be hostile to him.

Kakashi had tried showing up lately and being friendly to the chuunin, hoping to at least gain back some friendship, and if that went well, he could start pushing toward other things. But it seemed as though Iruka didn't really believe that the jounin just wanted to be nice to him, and would start freezing him out at the beginning of every conversation. This would upset Kakashi and eventually, his inner cranky mood (or sometimes just his lovesick clouded mind) would cause something stupid to fly out of his mouth. Iruka would assume that he was correct in thinking Kakashi came by just to bother and insult him, and Kakashi was left mentally berating himself for constantly building up a bad track record.

At the rate things were going, he was never even going to convince Iruka to stop hating him, let alone get him to return any romantic feelings. Should he even bother trying anymore? Should he just leave Iruka alone? Should he leave the teacher to his bush and stop butting into the other man's business? If Iruka wanted to lie around in the dirt, that was his prerogative.

But before he could move, the object of his recent thoughts shouted something about something in life not being fair and fell through the bush right at Kakashi's feet. How could an infatuated jounin pass up an opportunity like that?

Of course, the stupid shit began flying out of his mouth almost immediately. (That stupid story about the bush wasn't even one of his best stories... he had been thinking of one, but staring at Iruka had distracted him and _that_ horribly mangled anecdote had snuck out.) He attempted to make up for it with more lighthearted conversation, praying that once – just _once_ – he could end a conversation with Iruka on something other than an insult and a huffy farewell.

And all seemed to be going well until Kakashi spotted the mission scroll. And the yearning to find out what was _in_ that mission scroll intensified each time Iruka dodged the question and then started to _blush_! An inner struggle began inside Kakashi between the desire to end a conversation with Iruka on a good note, or find out what the chuunin's mission was. But of course, since Kakashi is nothing even close to a genius where Iruka is concerned, the curiosity won.

Hell, if Kakashi had known that curiosity paid off like this, he would've started being a lot more inquisitive much earlier on!

He had become slightly concerned when Iruka didn't start yelling at him after he transported himself in front of the teacher. For a second, the glazed over look in the teacher's eyes made Kakashi worry that Iruka might pass out again. But a few moments later, the chuunin's eyes refocused and only seconds after that, Kakashi found his mask being tugged down and the lips he had only been dreaming about pressed firmly against his own.

Kakashi may not have been the brightest bulb in the socket where Iruka was involved, but nobody was so stupid as to miss a chance like this.

* * *

In the first split second in which Iruka had his lips steadfastly against Kakashi's, he was sure he was going to get some sort of violent reaction. Would Kakashi pull away immediately? Would he push the teacher away? Would he go into jounin reflex mode? Would he wait until Iruka was done, give him a weird look, and then punch him for daring to touch his mask? Or would he just start laughing hysterically in the middle of it? Iruka wasn't sure which would be worse, but he had made his spontaneous decision, and there was no turning back now.

Of all the reactions that ran through his mind, the one that never even made the list was for Kakashi to stand stock-still for a moment and then start kissing him back.

Iruka had succeeded in locking lips with the jounin for a good three to four seconds without some sort of malevolent comeback, and was just on the verge of declaring phase one of his mission complete and pulling back, when he felt Kakashi push into the kiss and a pair of hands, that could only belong to one person, grab his waist.

Whoa! That was not what was supposed to happen! As soon as Iruka sensed the danger, he attempted to pull out of the kiss, but apparently Kakashi had every intention of finishing what the teacher had started and refused to let him go.

Iruka gasped as soon as he felt the jounin respond and achieved pulling back enough to break lip contact, but only for a second. Kakashi's hands slid further around him as his head dove back to resume their connection.

The jounin pressed his large left hand to the small of the chuunin's back and the other gripped his side, firmly bringing the teacher to crush against him. He started their kiss again with more passion than before, determined to show the teacher that he _did_ feel the same way and there was nothing to be embarrassed about.

Gods, Iruka's lips felt even better under Kakashi's own than the jounin had ever imagined. They were soft and supple, and tasted purely of Iruka. Gods, the taste. He needed to taste more!

The jounin darted his tongue across the teacher's lips, drinking in all the flavor of Iruka. He did it again and again, content with simply taking in his essence until Iruka gave in to his request. But Iruka seemed to be shy. Little whimpers had started escaping the teacher's mouth, but so far, he refused to open up to Kakashi.

The taller man began to rub an enticing pattern on the chuunin's back and calmly took the other's bottom lip between his own and began sucking gently, still darting his tongue across it every now and then. Iruka shuddered in his arms. This was a good sign. He would give in eventually.

Iruka seemed as though he wanted to give in, but he gave a little whimper and clutched onto the jounin's vest, as though to stop himself, at the last minute.

Kakashi mentally frowned. Maybe the chuunin just wasn't into public displays of affection? Oh well – Kakashi could fix that easily. Forming the hand seals quickly behind the teacher's back, the two were almost instantaneously transported to Kakashi's couch. (He had considered the bed, but something told him that might be pushing it a little.)

Wasting no time, Kakashi shoved the smaller man to a horizontal position. The shift caused Iruka to gasp and the jounin finally claimed his prize.

Iruka's mind was in a cloudy whirlwind. Not only was this completely unexpected, but dammit, Kakashi was such a talented kisser, he couldn't even think clearly enough to pull away. And now the jounin had him completely under his will, (in what Iruka could only assume to be his apartment), and was proceeding to explore his mouth as though it were his private property. But gods, Kakashi's tongue was so skilled and smooth, Iruka couldn't stop his thoughts from drifting to wondering how that tongue would feel on other places on his body.

As he felt Kakashi begin to remove his vest for him and then his own, he wondered if Kakashi had read his mind and took him seriously. Dear gods, as great as it felt to have Kakashi's tongue tracing every curve of his mouth and tempting those little whimpers out of him, he had to stop this, _now_.

Iruka finally turned his head to the side, breaking the kiss. "Kakashi…" he panted, not quite sure how he was supposed to continue after that.

"Iruka…" Kakashi's breath came out hot and filled with lust on his ear. Iruka involuntarily shivered and his mind froze up on him again. Kakashi traced the shell of his ear with his tongue and then began trailing butterfly kisses from behind his ear, down his neck, to his now exposed collarbone – all the while tugging Iruka's hair free of its usual hair tie, and removing his Hidden Leaf headband for him.

"AHHhhhhHHH!" Iruka jolted as Kakashi bit down on the sensitive point where neck met collarbone. But the pain was replaced with near-blinding pleasure when the jounin began sucking. Iruka could feel his body start to heat up in an unmistakable way, and his hands reached up to tangle in Kakashi's hair of their own volition. "Ka…kashi…" His voice sounded wanton and breathless to his own ears, and even he could no longer tell if he was begging him to stop or begging him to keep doing what he was doing.

Kakashi smirked at the breathless pant of his name on the teacher's lips. Finally, he was lulling the chuunin into complacency. And why shouldn't he? Iruka had started the whole thing!

Pale hands quickly disposed of their gloves and slid themselves under the hem of the chuunin's black shirt and pulled it up while Kakashi finished his work (if he did it correctly, there should be a good sized mark there in a few hours), and his lips returned to the other man's.

Iruka could not stop himself from responding eagerly this time. And when Kakashi had finally pushed the shirt up far enough to reach his goal and began to pinch and tug playfully at the nipples, Iruka gave a loud moan into the other's mouth and bucked up. It was getting awfully uncomfortable down there. Kakashi returned the groan as Iruka's erection brushed his own. Dammit! He had been trying so hard to keep it somewhat innocent. But if the teacher was getting as excited as he was… so be it.

His fingers gave one last twist on the now perky nipples and advanced on the rim of the now seemingly too-tight pants. He cupped the teacher and rubbed gently, as if to question if he really wanted to continue. He got the response he was looking for when Iruka cried out into his mouth and bucked again. It seemed as though Kakashi really was lucky today!

As Kakashi broke contact with his mouth again and trailed kisses, licks, and nips down his chest, pausing to briefly flick his tongue against the still pert nipples, Iruka tried to regain his senses. The firm hand was still on his arousal, rubbing more energetically now, and the chuunin truly didn't think he was going to last much longer. He really should stop this. This was wrong! He was just supposed to kiss Kakashi – not screw him! He couldn't do this… he shouldn't do this… oh gods, Kakashi was now starting to unbuckle his pants as he continued his feverish rubbing. Iruka tried to stifle his cry by biting his lip, but he could do nothing to stop his traitorous body from pushing into Kakashi's touch more and more.

'_No! Stop this! Stop this now! What is the matter with you? You can't do this! This is Kakashi! You don't feel this way about him! Get out of here before you make the situation even worse! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!' _Iruka's rational side was finally starting to fight back to the surface.

Kakashi had just started to slide the chuunin's erection out of his pants when Iruka broke through the last barriers of pleasure-induced haze, pulled his vest off the floor and flung it across his chest, quickly performing the seals to transport himself home.

Suddenly, Kakashi was all alone on his couch, still hunched over, preparing to accept the chuunin into a mind-boggling blowjob – at least, that had been his plan. He sat up and looked around the apartment, a bit dazed and confused. Nobody was there except himself.

Had it not been for the fact that Kakashi was half naked himself and Iruka had forgotten to also grab his hair tie and headband, Kakashi might have chalked it up to another horny dream. He sighed frustratedly, burying a hand in his hair. Shit! What had he done wrong? Had the teacher suddenly realized that he really _was_ moving too fast? Had Kakashi scared him somehow? "Shit!" Kakashi pounded a fist against the back of the couch.

He breathed heavily for a few moments before a smile of revelation crossed his face. Yes, Iruka had run off… but he had been there for a hell of a long time… and _he_ had initiated the kiss that started it all… so that meant…

Iruka really _did_ feel the same way!

And here Kakashi had been worried that the chuunin hated him… Iruka had probably just been having the same flustered thoughts as Kakashi for the past few months.

Kakashi would have jumped up and down like a giddy schoolgirl if a slight shift hadn't reminded him of his painful erection. While Iruka may not have been there to help him with it as Kakashi had hoped, at least now he had a _real_ mental image of a panting, lustful Iruka wriggling underneath him to jerk off to.

Now back in his own home, on his own couch, Iruka tried to catch his breath. He was in fairly the same position as he had been in Kakashi's apartment – hair askew, shirt pushed up, pants unbuckled, and erection still lively – but at least he was far away from a jounin that was able to make him lose his cool by doing unspeakably pleasurable things to him. Damn, he never knew Kakashi was so good at simply kissing that he could lure Iruka into practically begging him to suck him off.

And what was with the spontaneous make-out session? Iruka covered his eyes and tried to tame his breathing. What was Kakashi thinking? He couldn't actually _like_ Iruka, could he? No… that was impossible. Iruka had already firmly established the fact that Kakashi hated him. So why would he do something like that? And his voice… it had been so lust-filled.

Hormones.

That was the only solution that popped into Iruka's mind. Kakashi didn't like him… he just hadn't been laid in awhile. And that was also the only reason Iruka had responded the way _he_ did.

Iruka groaned a bit as he realized his headband and hair tie were still lying somewhere in Kakashi's apartment. But at least he had remembered to grab his vest. Sighing in relief, he sat up. The movement caused him to become painfully aware of the erection his little rendezvous in a certain jounin's apartment had left him with. Groaning, and just a little disgusted with himself, Iruka finished himself off quickly.

He panted quietly and tucked himself back into his pants, buckling them up, and pulling his shirt back down. He picked up his vest and reached into the hidden pocket to put the Evil Mission Scroll From Hell into a safe spot and maybe glare at it a bit before he did so.

However, when he pulled his hand back out, he was only able to stare stupidly as he realized that, in his hand, was not a mission scroll… but a bright orange book with the words Ichaicha Paradise across the cover.

As the full meaning of this predicament hit him, Iruka paled and began shaking horribly. "Oh no… oh no… oh no, oh no, _oh nooooo_…"

He had grabbed the wrong vest.

* * *

Kakashi wandered down the streets of the village slowly, not even bothering to glance at the sun to try to judge what time it was. He was well aware that he was now over four hours late meeting his students – so much for their reward. But too bad. Making out with Iruka or meeting his students early – the winner would always be that sexy little sensei.

He hopped into the clearing and raised one hand in greeting at his thoroughly perturbed students. "Yo."

"YOU'RE LATE!" the usual screech came from Sakura and Naruto. Even Sasuke graced him with an evil glare.

Kakashi smiled widely. "I know – but this time, I have a _really_ good excuse."

* * *

The plot thickens... muwahaha.

Ha. Actually, this chapter was lot more intense in the first draft, but then I decided that too much smut too early on just makes a story trashy. So, I hope you agree with me and don't want to kill me for toning it down a bit.

As always, if you enjoyed, please review!

**DixieGoddess**


	4. Chapter 4

Ok, I know some people hate author's notes, but if all you read is just one section, take a look at the paragraph labeled (3) down at the bottom, please.

Once again, I am so happy with all the positive feedback! And it especially makes me happy when I notice people who come back chapter after chapter! Makes me feel like I'm doing something right.

I hope this chapter is good enough and long enough to tide you over for awhile. I worked many hours to get it up before I have to leave for camp (counseling little kids - fun times, yes?) Yeah, I would've felt really bad leaving this sit for a whole week more. Enthusiastic reviews make me feel guilty.

* * *

Iruka was a mess.

That was an understatement. Iruka was a horrible blob of discombobulated thoughts with terrible tremors barely allowing him to make his way to the bathroom to clean up and change his pants.

He had to get that mission scroll back. Kakashi was probably already upset with Iruka for leaving him hot and bothered. What would his reaction be if he found out that Iruka was only using him to complete a mission? And that the results of their kiss(es) would be written down in a mission report? The private jounin would most likely not take too kindly to that. He would probably end up hating Iruka even more than before. Could it _get_ any worse?

Iruka whined to himself, wondering how his relationship with the copy-ninja had gotten so screwed up. First, they had been building up a steady friendship, then the chuunin exams had thrown Kakashi into the mindset of detesting him for speaking out, then the jounin decided to harass Iruka on a daily basis by pretending that he was trying to make nice with him, and now… Iruka had just come from a forceful make-out session with him. Was Kakashi thinking he was now going to turn Iruka into his own personal screw-toy or something?

One could only imagine where the sharingan user would lead this relationship next - probably to Iruka's death if he found out he was being mocked by being a part of Iruka's depraved mission.

The teacher banged his head against the wall, quickly losing his normal demeanor of a well-composed shinobi. And he didn't think anyone could really blame him. It was only his first day of this stupid mission and he had already gotten himself in way over his head. And what was even worse was that he could think of only one way to get his own vest back from Kakashi.

Perhaps if he had had more time, Iruka could have thought up a better, more strategic, and far less dangerous plan… but as it was, he didn't even know if Kakashi hadn't _already_ discovered the scroll. But if he hadn't, he needed to hurry up, because it wouldn't be long before he did. After all, Kakashi was almost addicted to his stupid Ichaicha Paradise novels. He wouldn't, or _couldn't_, go long without reaching into his pocket for one.

Finally cleaned up, with fresh clothes and headband on, and his hair neatly up again, Iruka locked eyes with his reflection in the bathroom mirror. "You're a shinobi, Iruka Umino. It doesn't matter what mission you are handed, you do everything in your power to complete it. And when it's in jeopardy, you put your life on the line to fix it… no matter what… No matter what… No matter what…" His posture slumped. "But dammit, this is just so humiliating!"

* * *

Kakashi hummed loudly, thoroughly enjoying his students' disturbed looks. According to Naruto, he was 'too damn happy', and Sasuke added that it meant he was 'probably planning something'. Sakura had merely made some remark about how his nose wasn't buried in its usual book – which was pretty much cause for concern all on its own. But Kakashi hadn't responded to any of these voiced-aloud thoughts from his trainees. And that scared them even more. Usually, their sensei would at least grace them with some line about how they were being too paranoid of their "trustworthy instructor". He wasn't even taking the time to lie to them today!

He hadn't even told them his excuse for being late! And _that_ was strange. He had seemed so proud of himself when he first stepped into the clearing and announced that he had a good excuse for being late. But although his students glared at him expectantly, Kakashi had merely smiled wider and given them the day's task.

"_But you didn't tell us why you're late, Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto had a mixed look on his face between being pissed off and being shocked and curious._

_Kakashi scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "Trust me; it's a good reason."_

_Sakura raised an eyebrow. "Why won't you tell us then? Maybe this time we'll actually believe you if it's so good." Despite the words, there was skepticism lacing her tone._

_Kakashi merely smiled again and waggled a finger at his students. "Now, now. You're all wasting precious time that could be devoted to your mission. If you really want to waste time, I suppose we could all stay later into the night."_

_Naruto squeaked. He had plans with Iruka-sensei for ramen tonight! Nobody was going to deprive him of his Free Ramen Night! "Heh heh… we'll get right on it!"_

As the blonde yanked up another piece of garbage from the lake they were supposed to be cleaning, he glanced back at Kakashi's jovial form lounging against a nearby tree. "You don't think that… maybe that's not really him, do you?" he whispered to Sakura a few feet away.

Sakura slipped on the mucky ground of the lake and successfully drenched everything but her hair before she was able to regain her footing. "Dammit, Naruto!" she hissed even though it wasn't his fault. "What the hell are you talking about?" Sasuke quirked his head on the other side of the blonde boy.

"Come on, you guys!" Naruto proceeded to whisper frantically. "He's acting so _weird_! What if that's somebody pretending to be him?"

Sakura sighed. "Kakashi-sensei _always_ acts weird, Naruto. And nothing strange in his chakra signature or appearance has indicated that it's anyone but him."

"She's right," Sasuke contributed, and then returned to his chore.

Naruto huffed. "Ok, so he always acts weird, but now he's acting… like… _normal_. _Normal_ people go around smiling and humming. So he may be acting _normal_ but that's _weird_ for him cuz he usually acts _weird_ and _not_ normal!"

His two teammates blinked a bit, trying to process the boy's explanation. Finally, Sakura shook her head, annoyed, and glanced back at their sensei herself. "Maybe he's just _happy_, Naruto. Ever think of that? Maybe the reason he's so late is because something good happened to him on the way over."

"And that's another thing," the rambunctious ninja continued. "Why wouldn't he tell us why he was late? It's not like he ever tells us the truth anyway… why is today so different?"

Sakura ground her teeth together as she slipped again. It may not have been Naruto's fault, but he was the one who was speaking when her predicament was ticking her off, so the anger was to be pushed off onto him. She turned to him with a sharp look in her eye, but before the threatening words could cross her lips, a loud, booming laughter made all three trainees jump. They glanced back at Kakashi cautiously, as though he might go mad and attack them at any second.

But he merely leaned back against his tree and laughed to himself some more. Naruto's eyebrow twitched. "See? He's lost it!"

"A-HA-HA-HA-HA- Hey!" The three youngsters jerked out of their disturbed stare to catch their sensei staring right back. "Why aren't you three working?"

Sakura tittered nervously. "We are!" And with that, she reached over to smack Naruto into submission and get the two boys to keep looking busy.

A few moments later, Kakashi began humming again. He peeked over at his more-than-frightened-now students and shook slightly with silent laughter. There was actually no reason for him to be laughing. His students just looked so scared of him, he decided to throw that one in for kicks. Yes… he was in an easily amused mood today.

In fact, he was so easily amused – by his students, his surroundings, his own thoughts – that he hadn't even felt the need to pull out Ichaicha Paradise yet. He knew that wouldn't last much longer, but it was fun to see how long he could be content with simply replaying the scene in his apartment without having to resort to his written porn for pleasure. It was a good day for Kakashi Hatake…

At least… it _was_… until the unmistakable cry of "Springtime of Youth!" rang out through the forest. And he couldn't quite prepare himself for the drastic dip in his pleasant mood before none other than Gai Maito appeared before him in all his green spandex-y glory. "My Eternal Rival!" seemed to pop automatically out of his mouth. (Yet he could still do the Nice Guy Pose as he said those words – Kakashi could never quite figure that one out.)

Kakashi raised a lazy eye to him, his previous happy-go-lucky appearance gone in an instant. "Yo."

Gai looked put out. "Ah! My Eternal Rival! Hip and cool as always! Nothing sways you!"

Kakashi stared.

Gai ground his teeth together and fire flashed in his eyes. "But you shall soon be swayed by my awesomeness as I beat you in our next challenge!"

Kakashi raised an uninterested eyebrow. "I'm in the middle of training my team right now. Don't _you _have a team to be training?"

Gai blinked and turned to acknowledge the three students in the dirty lake water, looking at him as though he were from another planet. Usually, Gai did not pop up until after they left. They sometimes heard his shouts as they wandered away, but they were never so unlucky as to actually still be around when he made his dramatic appearance. "Training?"

"Working," Naruto grumped, being the only one who had already recovered from the eerie green-clad entrance.

"Work _is_ training," Kakashi corrected his irate student.

Gai turned back to the other jounin. "Unlike you, Kakashi-sensei, I arrive on time to instruct my students. We're finished for the day."

Kakashi slowly glanced up at the sky. "Yes, I suppose it is fairly late afternoon, isn't it? I hadn't noticed."

"That's because you've been too busy being later than usual and acting creepy!" Naruto accused loudly.

Gai dropped his 'challenging' demeanor and looked at the silver-haired jounin with some concern. "Are you not feeling well, Kakashi? Has something happened?"

Kakashi could feel the muscles in his eye spasm. Normal Gai was bad enough, but literally _normal_ Gai was completely awkward. "I'm fine," he droned, allowing some annoyed, just-drop-it tone to slip out. Gai still didn't look convinced, so Kakashi sighed and tried to turn his rival's attention away from the matter. "So…what's the challenge of the day?" Not that he really wanted to do _anything_ but if it would keep Gai occupied…

The green-clad man instantly reverted back to his typical self and began shouting declarations of how he was going to pull ahead in the score again, since yesterday Kakashi had evened it out.

Kakashi leaned back against the tree with a worn-out 'thump'. So much for his good mood. Not that he hated Gai or anything… it was just that, Gai was no Iruka. And now _Gai_ was rolling around inside his head instead of the academy teacher and throwing off Kakashi's previous perverted thoughts.

As the other jounin continued to ramble about beating Kakashi and trying to decide what their challenge should be this fine afternoon, Kakashi decided it was time to bust out the Ichaicha Paradise. It didn't seem as though Gai would be done with his speech any time soon.

Smiling slightly at the thought of his porn, and also feeling a small sense of pride in being able to avoid it this long by simply thinking of Iruka, Kakashi reached into the pocket that he had placed his book in earlier. His fingers had just brushed the edge of a sold object when -

"I'VE GOT IT!"

Kakashi found himself jumping slightly as Gai suddenly appeared in front of his face, an enthusiastic smile almost blinding everyone it turned on. Kakashi quirked an eyebrow.

"We shall have a swimming race!" Gai declared as though this was the greatest idea one had ever come up with.

"Swim?" Kakashi repeated.

Gai pointed to the lake behind him where the three students were still watching the whole scene with, what could only be described as, morbid curiosity. "Fifty laps around the lake! If I lose, I shall proceed to do three-hundred more laps!"

Kakashi pretended to contemplate this offer, though in reality he was simply thinking to himself how funny it was that if Gai lost a challenge, he gave himself a penalty while the same consequence was never applied to him. Of course, he wasn't quite as crazy as Gai was… at least, he liked to tell himself that. He pulled his hand from his pocket and stood, turning to his students first. "You three are free to go. Good job today." Then, without a word, he began stripping down to only his pants and mask, a silent acceptance of the challenge. Gai smiled wider – a physical impossibility had it been anyone else _but_ Gai Maito.

Naruto bounded out of the lake as quickly as he could, Sasuke following at a slower pace, and Sakura behind them both. Naruto started to sing a made-up song about Ramen and Iruka-sensei and the joys of Free Ramen Night with said chuunin. Sakura was just about to smack him upside the head and tell him to shut up, but the words died in her throat as Kakashi-sensei stripped off his shirt. The pink-haired girl's hormonal teenage eyes stared without shame, not realizing that they were doing so. _'Whoa… and I thought Sasuke was the epitome of hot…'_

"Sakura, what are you staring at?" Sakura snapped out of her daydream to find a quizzical Naruto right in front of her.

She blushed hotly. "Nothing! Get the hell away from me!" She punched him in the arm (Naruto squealed in pain), and stalked off, trying to rid her mind of twisted thoughts about her (damn sexy!) sensei.

Kakashi, oblivious to the exchange between his students, cast off his sandals and headband (he figured he should be fine if it was only for a quick swim), and nodded to Gai who now stood only in his boxers. (Well, the damn spandex doesn't come in pieces - At least he wore underwear at all.)

Gai gave Kakashi one last Nice Guy Pose as they prepared themselves by the edge of the water. With a quick signal, the two jounin were off in a flash.

* * *

Iruka was in a panic. Team Seven was not at their usual training grounds, which meant they were on a mission today. Which meant that poor Iruka had no idea where to start looking for them. And which _also_ meant that Kakashi was not preoccupied with training his students, so he was most likely looking for something to read. Yeah… Iruka wanted to die.

He had wandered the village for a good… how many hours had he been at it now? Who knew? All he knew was that it had been plenty of time for Kakashi to discover the truth and enough time for the stress to make Iruka try to pull his hair out. Although, he had quickly switched this plan to simply 'messing his hair up a great deal' after he realized just how much it hurt, and how ridiculous it looked, to yank a clump of hair out. He looked like a deranged scientist.

"IRUKA-SENSEI!" An orange blur successfully bowled the chuunin over before his muddled brain could comprehend what the yell meant. The force knocked the wind out of the teacher and he lay stock still on the ground, hoping maybe it had been enough to kill him. No such luck as his lungs began working again and a worried blonde head came into focus. "Iruka-sensei?" Naruto looked concerned and confused all at once. He was never able to surprise the older man like that. "Are you okay? Whoa, what happened to your hair?"

Iruka tried to act normal, and pushed himself up, bringing the boy along with him. "Nothing," he chirped, sounding more creepy than normal.

Naruto poked a finger at the tiny bare patch on the left side of Iruka's head. "Dude, it's like… _gone_."

Iruka swatted the hand away.

Naruto gazed up at his former teacher. Something wasn't right. The chuunin looked half-angry, and half on the verge of breaking down into tears. He was breathing heavily even though he hadn't been doing any strenuous activity for at least the past two minutes since they crossed paths. And his usually perfect hair was missing a chunk, and the rest was strewn over his head in crazy-looking wisps. The blonde blinked. "Did you get beat up or something?"

An eye spasm was added to the list of 'Things Wrong With Iruka-sensei'. What was with everyone thinking he was getting beat up? Did people think he was _that_ weak that if his appearance was messed up even a little, they just automatically assumed that it was because someone got the better of him? "No, Naruto… I did _not_ get beat up." Naruto continued to stare at him as though there was something amiss. "Look," Iruka ran a hand through the stray strands of hair in an attempt to make himself appear a little more decent. "Do you know where Kakashi-sensei is?"

Naruto frowned a bit at the mention of his strange instructor. "Yeah, he and Gai-sensei are having a 'swimming match' or something in the lake. You know we had to _clean_ that stupid lake today? _That_ was our mission! Can you believe that? We are _so_ past having to do amateur missions like that! Of course, we really didn't have time to do anything else cuz Kakashi-sensei was so late today! And then he wouldn't even tell us why!"

Iruka blushed, knowing full well why Kakashi had been extra late meeting his team. But all he stuttered out was a pathetic "I see."

Naruto crossed his arms over his chest. "Yeah, he's been acting _really_ weird today! He's all smiling and humming and laughing out loud for no reason. He hasn't even had time to read his perverted book all day, what with acting like a weirdo and all! It's really creepy! Iruka-sensei! Where are you going?"

As soon as Naruto had mentioned Kakashi's lack of interest in his porn, Iruka had slowly begun edging away from the ranting boy and toward the direction of the lakefront. He still had a chance! And if he hurried, he may be able to switch the vests while Kakashi was preoccupied with Gai! However, Naruto's shout made him freeze and he tried to play dumb. "Hmm?"

Naruto looked a little hurt. "You're taking me out for ramen tonight!"

Iruka's eyes widened. _'Oh shit! I completely forgot! Damn Kakashi! This is all his fault!'_ He plastered a reassuring smile on his face. "Oh, yeah, I am! I just really need to talk to Kakashi-sensei first."

Naruto stared at the brunette with an indiscernible look on his face. He pointed one finger semi-accusingly at Iruka. "You're acting really weird too," he monotoned.

"No I'm not."

Naruto narrowed his eyes. "Oh yeah? Since when do _you_ talk to _Kakashi-sensei_? You _hate_ him."

Iruka tried to tame his glare. Damn observant kid! Why couldn't he be this focused when studying? "I do not _hate_ Kakashi-sensei, Naruto. And even if I did, what I have to talk to him about is very important, and our personal differences need to be put aside for the sake of the… conversation…" he trailed off his lie lamely.

Naruto continued to look unconvinced. "Yeah… sure."

"Look, just go to the ramen stand and order your first bowl. I'll be there soon, okay?" And, not risking wasting any more time, Iruka leapt off toward the lake.

The blonde, nine-tailed fox holder stared after him. "Weirdos…"

* * *

As Iruka stepped into the clearing by the lakefront, he nearly cried out in joy as he spotted the two neglected vests lying unprotected on the shore, and two small blurs on the other side of the lake. After all the hell he went through, at least he wasn't going to have to make it _worse_. And although he was still stuck with the consequences of the original encounter with Kakashi, right now, he was going to count his blessings. He stared at the two vests with teary (out of happiness) eyes for a few moments and then began making his way toward them.

But just as he was about to crouch down to check which vest held his precious mission scroll, he ran headfirst into a wet Kakashi's chest. He was still for a moment, then a blush rose quickly on his face. "Uhhhhhhh…"

"Very articulate today, aren't you Iruka?" A soft, deep chuckle reverberated through Iruka as well, sending a slight shiver through his body.

"Uhhhh…"

"Whoa… what happened to your hair?" Kakashi reached up to prod the bare patch.

Iruka jerked away and took a few steps back.

Dropping his hand, Kakashi's eyes crinkled. "Was there something you needed?" He tried to keep his voice friendly and not at all like he wanted to throw Iruka against the nearest tree and ravish him. No… no ravishing thoughts, otherwise he'd do something stupid and scare the teacher off again.

"Uhh… um… talk…" Iruka finally managed to get out. A touch of relief flowed through him that he was able to form full words at all. Kakashi in nothing but pants was bringing back memories that weren't far enough away yet to be hazy and non-distracting.

"Sure." He spun Iruka and gave him a slight push toward the foliage so they could get away from Gai's shouts on the other side of the lake where Kakashi had ditched him once he sensed Iruka's energy. Screw that – he had been losing anyway. This was the perfect excuse to leave. He began following the brunette, but as an afterthought, turned and grabbed the nearest vest and headband. He then trailed after Iruka.

Once they reached a suitable spot, Iruka stopped and attempted to collect his thoughts before turning around. He could do this. This is what he had been planning to do all along before he heard about the swimming match. This turn of events shouldn't really change anything. He'd done it before – he could do it again! He spun to Kakashi, determined, but halted at the sight of the jounin.

Kakashi had thrown the vest on over his bare chest, and was now attempting to adjust the headband. He had also removed his mask.

Iruka felt his face heat up again. The first time he had yanked off Kakashi's mask, he had been so befuddled and preoccupied that he hadn't really looked at the other man's bare face. And now he was wondering why the hell he hadn't! First of all, it was practically a once-in-ten-lifetimes opportunity to be able to see the copy-nin's face. And secondly… well, let's just say that Iruka had never spent much time thinking about what Kakashi looked like under the mask, but it was much better than anything he ever _had_ imagined. Iruka knew the Unofficial Kakashi Fanclub to be quite large as it was. How many people would there be if they actually knew how attractive the man really was? Perhaps that's why he wore the mask in the first place?

Kakashi chuckled again, noticing Iruka's line of vision. "Sorry. It was all wet and uncomfortable on my face… and I figured… since you've already seen it…"

"Not… really…"

"Too busy beforehand, huh?" Kakashi joked lightly.

Iruka remained silent out of embarrassment. But also because his mind was awhirl with too many thoughts. He was trying to process Kakashi's handsome face, previous lustful memories, the thoughts of what he was about to do, and the fact that Kakashi was acting quite… pleasant and, dare he say, flirty. It was completely out of character for the man that usually acted as though he wouldn't care if Iruka was dead. Oh well… all the easier for Iruka to implement his 'Get Back The Vest and Mission Scroll' plan. (The title is a work in progress.)

Meanwhile, Kakashi struggled with trying to readjust Gai's headband. Iruka seemed flustered already with the revealing of the rest of his face. He didn't want to make the teacher any more uncomfortable with his sharingan. He growled softly as the headband refused to cooperate. Perhaps he should have actually looked and made sure that he was grabbing his own supplies – but this was just temporary. He would return Gai's vest and headband after he was through talking with Iruka.

He gave a small noise of success as he finally got it the right size and slipped it over his left eye. Catching the bright oddly-colored headband out of the peripheral vision of his free eye, Kakashi officially decided that Gai had horrible fashion sense with his bright red forehead protector. (Not that Kakashi had ever thought anything else of the man's sense of fashion.)

He turned his attention back to Iruka who was now staring at his chest with a strange look in his eye. Figuring it was because he merely had a vest on and nothing else underneath, Kakashi scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "Ah… sorry about that too. My shirt was completely soaked by our beginning splash." He waved his hands around a bit, trying to pantomime the occurrence. "And I figured… you were a little flustered with my bare chest… so this was better than nothing." He looked to Iruka with a hopeful eye. He prayed he had done enough to make him comfortable.

Iruka snapped out of his daydream, the blush still covering his face. He was _glad_ Kakashi had grabbed his vest. That's what he came for after all. But he smiled shyly and nodded that he was grateful.

This was it. The only way to get that vest back without trying to wrestle it off the jounin, (which probably wouldn't work anyway), was to seduce him into another make-out session and switch the vests again. The teacher was terrified – terrified that Kakashi would see through the ruse, terrified that Kakashi would take _too_ much advantage of the situation again… terrified that he wouldn't be able to stop, like last time…

But there was no other choice at this point. Iruka was a shinobi, dammit! And he could put on an acting mask if he needed to. Still slightly pink in the face, but hoping that it added to his character, Iruka slowly approached the jounin, going into Shinobi Acting Mode.

Kakashi stayed perfectly still, waiting to see what Iruka would do. The teacher reached a tentative hand up and brushed some of the dripping silver-haired locks out of the jounin's face. He bit his lip. "Heh… I've never seen you with your hair down like this," he commented in a would-be off-hand voice.

Kakashi's mind was mush. "Ah… yeah… wet and all…" _'Yeah – that made a whole lot of sense!'_

Iruka wet his lips. "Sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have done that…" he whispered.

Kakashi gained a bit of his senses back and grabbed the retreating wrist near his head. "Which part?" he asked, teasingly. "The kissing me or the leaving me?"

It was Iruka's turn to shut his brain off. Dammit! Kakashi knew what was going on! He _had_ to! There was no other explanation for this behavior! He was screwing with his mind – just like all jounin liked to do. But a little part of Iruka argued against this theory when he looked into Kakashi's eye. For one eye, it could speak volumes. And the intuitive side of Iruka's brain was telling him to pay attention to the emotion in that eye. However, he shook himself from his thoughts and continued his plans to seduce Kakashi. And if Kakashi knew what he was doing… fine. But Iruka was not going to back down first. He smiled softly. "Which part do you want me to be sorry for?" At the same time he hoped to himself that he didn't sound too fake, he trembled with the realization that he didn't sound fake _at all_.

Kakashi stepped forward suddenly, forcing Iruka back against the tree that was right behind him, trapping him there and pinning his captured hand above his head. Iruka's breath hitched. This seemed awfully familiar… but this was _good_ – he tried to remind himself. This was right where he wanted Kakashi. But he hadn't expected _Kakashi_ to do the initiating this time around. He really must have riled up his libido earlier.

Kakashi's lips hovered just in front of his. He could feel the jounin was trembling slightly as well. Or was that still just him? He couldn't tell anymore. He didn't even care anymore. He was drowning in the moment, and he didn't give a damn! When was the last time Iruka had gotten a good lay? A very long time considering his goddamn 'decentness'. He really needed to work on being more of a whore. "Iruka…" The brunette was snapped from his thoughts and stared into Kakashi's eye that was mere centimeters away from his own. "Is this… okay?"

Okay? Was what okay? Iruka's brain struggled to make sense of the situation. Okay? Yes, everything seemed to be quite okay. Why not? He nodded dumbly, and in a split second found the jounin's lips firmly against his own for the nth time that day. _'Oh! Was __**that **__okay…' _As soon as Kakashi's tongue forced its way past Iruka's slack lips, not bothering to waste any time this time around, he decided that _yes_, it was very okay.

Iruka drove his head forward, deepening the kiss, and Kakashi reached up his free hand to rid Iruka of that stupid (and now almost useless) hair tie once again. The teacher's hair fell free and the silver-haired man brushed it out with his fingers, reveling in its smoothness. He decided that he liked Iruka's hair down a lot better than the usual style.

He groaned in mild surprise as Iruka curled one lean leg around Kakashi's own, rubbing enticingly and giving himself extra leverage to Kakashi's mouth. Kakashi broke the kiss and attacked the chuunin's jaw and chin and other such parts of his face instead. Iruka whimpered and continued pushing himself into Kakashi. The jounin kissed the tip of Iruka's nose then licked lightly across his scar. The chuunin gave a great shudder. No one had ever thought of _that_ place as a pleasure point before. Kakashi smirked at the reaction.

Iruka was just starting to heat up in certain places again when Kakashi reached for the zipper on his vest. As the jounin was busy with nibbling on his earlobe, the chuunin's eyes snapped open. _'Dammit! How could I have fallen into this trap again? What the hell happened to learning from your mistakes? Argh! The vest! I'm here for the vest! That is __**it**__!' _

As his own (or actually Kakashi's) vest dropped to the ground, Iruka reached out bold hands for the vest on the jounin. Kakashi's eye widened in surprise, but he moaned happily, egging Iruka on. As the second vest dropped to the ground, Iruka made a mental note of which vest had landed where, and then proceeded to respond eagerly to Kakashi's ministrations.

Kakashi let a grin spread across his face as Iruka braced his free hand against Kakashi's bare chest and the next push from Iruka revealed the chuunin's excitement. This was progressing much faster than before – which was good because he didn't think either of them had been completely satiated the first round. He enthusiastically pressed his thigh back against Iruka's erection, and rubbed it gently with what little movement he possessed (what with Iruka clinging all over him and everything).

Growling, Iruka suddenly pushed against Kakashi with all his might, using his leg as extra force. Completely caught off guard, Kakashi flew back, sprawling unceremoniously on the hard forest floor. By the time he regained his equilibrium, Iruka had disappeared again.

He bared his teeth and grabbed fistfuls of hair in both hands, trying to suppress the urge to give out a loud animal-like cry. Did he move too fast again? No… Iruka was the one who practically started humping his leg. Grrr… were all chuunin such teases? Iruka must be one of those people who gets excited easily but then freaks out when anything good starts happening. This did not bode well for Kakashi and his horniness.

Sighing loudly through his nose, Kakashi fastened his mask back on, pushed himself up and snatched up his vest, deciding then and there that _next time_, Iruka wasn't getting away so easily.

* * *

Iruka sprawled on his bed, breathing heavily. Not even bothering to put any thought into it, he quickly reached into his pants and finished himself off for the second time that day. Guess it was time for another pair of pants – pajama pants he supposed, considering the sun was almost completely below the horizon now, and he felt as though he had experienced about fifty days in the past few hours.

He rolled off the bed and made his way to the bathroom, where he once again cleaned himself off and put on a pair of baggy pajama pants, leaving his chest bare. He brushed out his already let-down hair, noticing again how deranged the clump of missing hair really looked. No wonder everyone had been intrigued. As he tiredly flipped his hair over his shoulder, he did a double take in the mirror at a little spot on his neck. A little red, suspiciously hickey-looking spot. Gross! Damn Kakashi! Did the jounin not realize that Iruka had _children_ to teach tomorrow? Stupid bastard! Stupid… talented… sexy… bastard… _'Knock it off!'_ He shook his head and wandered back to his bedroom. It looked like a genjutsu would be in order tomorrow morning.

He yanked his vest off the floor and plopped onto his bed, sighing softly. At least he had gotten the scroll back. That's all that mattered at the moment. And now it was time to finally lock that scroll away where no one would ever find it. He reached into the hidden pocket and couldn't stop the relieved smile when his fingers closed around a scroll. _'Yes! I am __**so**__ good!'_

He pulled the scroll out triumphantly and unrolled it to check Kakashi off the list. But when the scroll was unrolled, Iruka's jaw went slack and his eyes gazed bewildered at the piece of paper that was, remarkably, not _his_ piece of paper. True enough, Kakashi's name was on there, but nobody else's was… except 'Me' - whoever the hell _that_ was! "What the…?" There were little tally-marks under each name heading.

Iruka dropped the scroll and frantically searched through the other pockets. No… _no_… NO! This was not where he kept things in his vest! He dropped the entire thing to the floor, looking for all the world like he was going to pass out again. Who's fucking vest did he have _now_?

* * *

Kakashi stepped back into the clearing by the lakeshore where Gai was sitting in the sand, still in his boxers, but looking serious. Somehow, that combination didn't quite mix. The usually exuberant jounin stared into Kakashi's face as the sharingan user slunk over to him and their discarded clothing. "Is everything alright, Kakashi? You've been acting strange today," Gai spoke somberly.

Kakashi resisted the urge to snort. Since when was Gai one to talk about strangeness? "Everything is fine, Gai. Stop trying to psycho-analyze me." He pulled off his headband and tossed it back to its owner. He then made to throw back the vest too. "Here – oh…" A little orange book slipped from an inside pocket and landed in the dirt. _'Huh… I guess I did grab the right vest… weird…oh well.' _He shrugged and picked his book back up, along with his still damp shirt and headband. "See ya."

"Wait!"

Kakashi raised his eyebrows at Gai.

"Can I count this as a win?"

Kakashi sighed softly, amazed at how quickly the man could change gears. "Sure, Gai – count it as a win." With that, Kakashi teleported himself back home, thankful that Gai was so into staring at his face that he hadn't noticed 'other areas' that were in dire need of attention. Time for a cold shower… or maybe just a regular shower - orgasms were fun after all.

Back on the beach, Gai grinned to himself and jumped up into a Nice Guy Pose even though no one was around to see it. Full of happiness at pulling ahead of his rival, he picked up the remaining vest and reached into the pocket for the tally sheet that held the records of all of his and Kakashi's challenges. However, he froze and a mildly confused look crossed his face when he unraveled it. He glanced the scroll up and down and mumbled to himself. "Kiss and record… 1-10 rating… who's is _this_?"

* * *

At the Ramen Stand, Naruto scrubbed angrily at the dishes he was being forced to wash to pay for his twelve bowls of ramen, since Iruka-sensei never _had_ shown up!

* * *

Mwa-ha-ha! I love throwing the characters for a loop! And poor Naruto!

Anway, just a few things I need to mention:

(1): My friend asked me how Kakashi and Iruka could not have noticed that their vests got switched since they're not the same size so their vests would be different sizes. Actually, if you look at pictures of Iruka and Kakashi standing next to eachother, they're really not that different in the height department. And I figured that the shinobi vests, for the most part, are 'one size fits all' or at least go 'small, medium, large' and Iruka and Kakashi would be the same size. I doubt they're specially crafted for each ninja, so I find it perfectly logical that two shinobi of relatively the same size could accidentally switch vests and not notice.

(2): That whole scene with Sakura staring at Kakashi's bare chest and thinking he's hot... ok, as I was re-reading it, even I realized that it sounds like the start of a Kakashi/Sakura pairing or something. In reality, I just threw it in there for a few giggles, thinking that that's how teenage girls really act! We look at older guys and think somewhat dirty thoughts about them... but that doesn't mean we're really _attracted _to them or anything. It's just a thought that enters the head of teenage girls, and Sakura is a teenage girl, so I just thought it would add a little humor to picture Sakura drooling over someone other than Sasuke. Especially since it's Kakashi, and we all want an excuse to picture sexy Kakashi too. This is is in _no way_ a hint toward anything remotely Kakashi/Sakura. I find that pairing disturbing. I won't touch it.

(3): Just a few answers to questions that many reviewers have been asking: Is this Kakashi/Iruka? Yes, this is Kakashi/Iruka - no other pairings... well, maybe there _will_ be other pairings, but not with Iruka or Kakashi - at least not permanently. I am Kakashi/Iruka all the way! Will I be putting in the other kisses? Yes, I will be putting in the kisses between Iruka and the other jounin. That will actually start next chapter. Will Kakashi ever find out about Iruka's mission, and if he does, how will he react? You shall have to wait and see on that one. How did I come up with this idea? If I told you, you would think I was insane and would wonder how the hell I could come up with this story off of that particular train of thoughts... so I'm not telling.

Yeah, I think that's it. Just wanted to get that out there. This is the longest chapter yet, so I hope I made you all happy! If you enjoyed, please review!

**DixieGoddess**


	5. Chapter 5

This chapter switches back and forth between the present - Iruka, and slightly in the past - Gai. Just letting you guys know so it's not confusing.

Lots of author's notes at the bottom for those who care to bother with them.

* * *

Sharp knocking resounded throughout the otherwise peaceful Umino residence, causing the bundle of blankets on the bed to stir slightly. However, as soon as the knocking stopped, so did the movement. A moment of silence spread... then... the pounding resumed, as well as the minimal amount of shifting. This cycle repeated itself several times - the hunched up person beneath the blankets casually falling back asleep as the constant rhythm of flesh against wood fell into white noise. And he would have gone completely back to sleep had the sound not suddenly stopped for a good period of time. Perhaps he should get up and investigate?

The mussy brown head poked out of the covers and bleary brown eyes blinked a few times before a very sharp, pointy object came into focus mere inches away from his face. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Using every chuunin reflex he had developed since a young age, the brunette jumped up and struck out as quickly as he could at the holder of the offending weapon, knocking over most of the contents of his bedside table in the process. Breathing heavily and working with immense speed to untangle the rest of his lower body from the mass of bedsheets, Iruka took a defensive pose and glared down at his attacker... The brown-haired, bandana-clad attacker who was now rooted to the floor with shock as he stared cross-eyed at the senbon now piercing through his upper lip. Iruka froze.

"Genma?"

* * *

Contrary to popular belief, Gai Maito was not an idiot. Well, he may have been an "idiot" in the sense that he was obliviously annoying; but he was not _stupid_. He was a jounin after all and, as such, had quite remarkable deduction skills. If he didn't, he never would have passed the jounin exam. A big portion of the exam had been all about testing these mental skills and, had he failed, he would still be a chuunin. So… yes… in other words – he could figure puzzles out fairly quickly if he really set his mind to it.

Of course, he thought bitterly, his brain power was nothing compared to Kakashi's. It was the one area that the Hatake genius had him beat in every time. That was why Gai conveniently always picked physical challenges and not mental ones.

Anyway… the whole point being – it didn't take him long to figure out who the vest with the mysterious scroll belonged to.

At first, the thought that it was most likely Kakashi's had sprung to his mind being that they could have easily switched vests. But that was impossible. Right before he left, Kakashi's infamous Ichaicha Paradise book had fallen out of his vest, proving that it was his own. Also, this scroll was a B-rank mission. Kakashi Hatake, the incredibly skilled sharingan using jounin of Hidden Leaf, was never given B-rank missions unless they were for his students (not possible since this was a solo mission) or he was extremely bored/pissed off and stormed into the mission room demanding a mission – any mission. That _had_ happened a few times (quite effectively scaring the crap out of whoever ran the mission desk), but if that were the case, Kakashi would be off completing this mission instead of lazing around by the lakeside. There was also the fact that Kakashi's name itself was on the list of people to be kissed… (There was another reason: he doubted Kakashi would ever accept such a strange mission as this.)

That being said, the vest and the mission must belong to someone else. Most likely a chuunin, since most of the jounin (at least the ones that weren't _always_ away on missions or involved with someone already) were on the list. The only questions were: Who was the chuunin? Why were they assigned such a weird mission? And if Kakashi had his own vest, and he had someone else's… where was _his_ vest?

* * *

"Damn, Iruka," Genma mumbled as soon as the senbon had been yanked from his lip. "With reflexes like those, I don't know why you keep refusing to take the jounin exam."

Iruka blushed in embarrassment, both at the compliment and at the horror of the damage he had inflicted upon his friend. "I'm not that good. You just surprised me, and I got lucky. Now stop talking and hold this against your lip." He pushed a wet washcloth against the bleeding hole.

The jounin obediently held it in place, and hunched over in his spot on the edge of the bathtub, trying to get comfortable. It didn't seem as though Iruka was going to let him go anywhere until the chuunin had doctored him as best he could. And Genma was used to Iruka's stubbornness enough to know that it would be futile trying to argue with him.

As Iruka prepared an alcohol swab to disinfect the wound, Genma's eyes gazed over the chuunin. He considered making some innuendo about the other man in nothing but pants, but figured that he had gotten hurt by Iruka enough that morning.

The chuunin's head bobbed, his brown locks sloshing back and forth, and Genma suddenly became very aware of the patch of hair that... wasn't there... "Oi, what happened to your hair?" He reached a lazy hand up to touch the bare spot, but Iruka swatted him away before he could make it.

"It's nothing. And no, I did _not_ get beat up!" he stated firmly before the words could even leave the other man's mouth.

Genma retreated back to his original position and smirked - well, smirked as best he could with the washcloth covering half his mouth. "Ah... did it get ripped out in the throes of passion, then?"

Iruka's head shot up and he blushed hotly at the meaning of Genma's words. _'What does he mean by that? He couldn't possibly know about me and Kakashi could he? Not that there's anything to know... but... there's plenty to be misconstrued. But he couldn't know about anything that happened between us... could he? No. Unless Kakashi told him. That bastard!'_

Genma saw the confused and panicked look on the teacher's face and reached his hand out again to tap a finger against the blushing man's neck, still smirking.

Iruka glanced down. "Huh?"

The jounin withdrew his finger and Iruka once again became aware of the conspicuous red mark on his neck from the previous day's activities. He squeaked and clamped his own hand against it, though it was obviously too late to hide anything. Genma chuckled and readjusted the washcloth since the previous area was now soaked with blood. "So who's the lucky lady?"

Iruka blinked. "Huh?" _'Lady? So he doesn't know...'_ "Uh... um..." A lie couldn't spring to his lips quickly enough. He couldn't very well make up a name in a village where everyone was expected to know everyone else. And he couldn't lie and say he was involved with someone he wasn't - he'd be revealed too quickly.

Genma quirked an eyebrow. "Oh... ok... so who's the lucky guy?"

Iruka thought he might overheat from the redness in his face now, but he swallowed and tried to steer the attention away from himself. Ignoring the question, he lifted the stained washcloth away from the wound that was now bleeding much slower and brought the alcohol swab to it instead. Peering closely as though it were taking all his concentration and attention, he finally declared that he didn't think they needed to make a trip to the hospital for stitches. "It's just a little hole... not that bad." He finished the disinfecting and brought the cloth back up. "Just keep holding that there until the bleeding fully stops." With that, he gathered his supplies and stood to return them to the cupboard.

The jounin watched his friend purposely ignore him and grinned minutely. "Ok, fine, you don't wanna talk about it." Iruka continued to meticulously arrange his bathroom cupboard. "Is it someone I know, at least?"

The cupboard slammed. "Why were you in my bedroom this morning?"

Genma froze for a minute at the abrupt change in conversation. He then gazed at the chuunin with a weird look. He merely pulled back his shirt sleeve on the arm that was holding up the washcloth and tapped at his watch.

Iruka stared stupidly at it. "Eight-thirty... So what?"

"I believe classes start at _seven_-thirty, sensei."

Iruka stared for a moment more until the comment finally registered in his brain. "OH MY GOD!" He bolted from the bathroom and seconds later, Genma could hear the sound of cloth whipping threw the air as the chuunin hurried to dress. The jounin couldn't stop the chuckle from escaping his throat.

Pushing himself up, he wandered over to lean against the doorway of the bedroom where Iruka was on his hands and knees, searching desperately for something. Considering he'd thrown his shirt on (backwards), and was already fully dressed except for his head band, Genma casually picked up the forehead protector from its quite obvious spot on the dresser and tossed it to the ground in front of Iruka. The teacher froze, then snatched it up and hurried to tie it. "Relax, Iruka," the jounin finally drawled as he figured he had freaked out the young man enough. "There's already a sub watching your students until you get there. It's not like the little monsters are sitting in class unsupervised."

Although he didn't verbally acknowledge that he had heard Genma, this statement calmed Iruka down a bit and he took a deep breath. His eyes then darted across the room. "Lesson plan – in vest... bag…" he mumbled to himself.

"I believe it was sitting on your kitchen table."

The chuunin glanced at Genma and blushed for the umpteenth time that morning. Without a word, he strode quickly toward the kitchen where, sure enough, the bag was hastily thrown across the table, its few papers scattered on the wood. He simply scooped all the papers into a big pile and stuffed them into the bag, figuring he would organize them during lunch break – it was all mission room paperwork anyway. He hopped up and was just about to take off when he caught sight of Genma leaning lazily against the counter, cloth still held to his injured lip. He stopped in his tracks and bowed deeply to the jounin. "I'm so sorry again, Genma."

Genma waved it off. "Don't worry about it. That was actually a very impressive move you pulled."

Iruka straightened back up. "Are you alright now? Do you need anything else?"

Genma was just about to shake his head but stopped as a wicked idea formed in his mind. After all, what good would a run-in with Iruka be if he didn't get his usual flirting in, complete with a blush and outburst from the "proper" chuunin. He pulled the washcloth away and smirked lecherously. "Well, you haven't kissed it better yet." The smirk faded a bit as the expected outburst never came. In fact, Iruka was staring at him as though he were actually taking his words seriously. Maybe he shouldn't be confusing the poor teacher's brain when he was already stressed about being late? "Oi... Iruka... I was just - "

But Genma never completed his sentence as the chuunin suddenly latched onto his neck with his free hand and crushed their lips together. Genma stood completely frozen as Iruka assaulted his mouth, but found that he couldn't help enjoying the sensation. For all the teasing he had done to Iruka about being a prude, it was obvious this was well beyond his first time kissing. Just as he felt the chuunin start to pull away, he leaned forward and continued the kiss.

Iruka's eyes snapped open as Genma's closed in contentment. _'What the hell?'_ He had only kissed Genma because he figured it would be his only chance to do so without _completely _embarrassing himself. If Genma asked why he had done it, Iruka could simply say it was because the jounin told him to, and that if he didn't actually want something, he should stop asking for it. Yes... Iruka had been fully prepared to turn the kiss into a lecture about perverted innuendos and being careful what you wished for - if he did _that_ the senbon-sucking man shouldn't give it another thought. But now, that man was earnestly trying to suck on something else... _'Dammit! This is not happening __**again**__!'_

Pulling away roughly, he gaped up at the jounin who seemed as though he had just regained clarity of the situation himself. The two stared at each other for a long minute until Iruka finally turned and strode toward the door with purpose and poise. "Don't forget to lock up on your way out."

Genma could only stare at the hastily slammed door.

* * *

He knew it was wrong – he really did. But how else was he supposed to solve this mystery? Gai stared contemplatively at the anonymous vest that now sat at the foot of his bed while he was cross-legged at the head. He was a prideful and dignified shinobi. He shouldn't go sneaking around another Hidden Leaf ninja's vest. However….

He needed to find out whose it was. And he needed to find his _own_ vest. Not that there was anything of real importance in it, aside from the tally sheet (which he had memorized anyway) and a few weapons, but it was the principle of the matter. Besides, he tried to convince himself, he couldn't very well return _this_ vest to its rightful owner if he didn't know who the owner was. So he _had_ to snoop... just a little.

This vest could belong to a young ninja who was desperately wondering where their own precious vest could be. Yes! That was it! A poor young ninja crying pitiful youthful tears as they mourned their lost vest. Fire blazed in the jounin's eyes. He must find the owner of the vest at any cost – for the sake of youth!

Nodding to himself with newfound resolve, he began to sift through the pockets of the vest. The first few revealed nothing but standard weapons that could belong to anyone; one of the pockets, however, produced a few neatly folded sheets of paper. Finally – a clue! Perhaps it was a love letter! A love letter of youth! Hearts danced around inside Gai's head as he unfolded the paper. _Oh_… the youthful exuberance disappeared. It was just a lesson plan.

Behold the power of the jounin thought process: If Lesson plan equals academy teacher… and an academy teacher has to be a chuunin… then the vest belonged to a chuunin (he was right!)… and if he recalled correctly that he had felt a familiar energy mingled with Kakashi's on the other side of the lake… and Kakashi only had a connection to one chuunin schoolteacher… and, when his spandex was the perfect stretchiness, he could do 500 laps around the Hokage monument in 3 hours… this vest and this… _mission_ could only belong to one person.

"Iruka-sensei…"

* * *

Iruka slammed the door behind him with a force that sent all the nearby animals scurrying or flying away as quickly as they could. He pressed his forehead against the cool wood and took a few shuddering breaths, trying to control the blush he just _knew_ was dominating his features. What was _wrong _with these jounin? Oh well – he didn't have time to dwell on that now. He was already over an hour late for his classes. Oh gods, how could he explain this one? He had _never_ been late for class save for the one time that he was really really sick; even then, he had woken up on time and at least _tried_ to make it to the academy. He _had_ made it – late, but he made it. But then was promptly sent home when one of the other teachers spotted his condition.

_Tap tap…_

The chuunin jumped and, for the second time that morning, struck out at his "attacker". However, this one deftly caught his fist right before it hit his face. Then again, what else would one expect from the great Kakashi Hatake? The brunette felt his face heat up only seconds after he had finally been able to calm it down. "Ka – Kakashi-sensei…"

A little orange book hit the ground, the jounin's hands now preoccupied keeping up a defensive position. The single visible eye curved slightly. "Easy there…"

"Ah… oh!" Iruka pulled his fist away quickly. "Sorry! You – "

"Surprised you? Obviously." Kakashi bent down to retrieve his book. When he straightened back up, he surveyed the chuunin for an awkward moment (in Iruka's point of view). "You don't look sick."

"I – I'm not…"

"You're late for work." If Iruka could take a guess, Kakashi had his eyebrows knitted in confusion… or worry… or constipation… he couldn't really tell with the limited exposure of skin.

"Overslept…" Iruka shrugged, then glanced at Kakashi curiously. "How did you know?"

Kakashi's eye widened a bit. "I was told… and asked to come check up on you!" he chirped brightly. _'It's not like I decided to observe you today and was upset when my plans to spy on you during class were foiled by Asuma being in the classroom and not you…'_

The chuunin glanced back at his house where he knew Genma was since _he_ had already been sent to check up on Iruka. "O…K… well, I really must be off, Kakashi-sensei! I'm terribly late as it is!"

Kakashi tucked his book away. "I'll escort you."

"No need – I'll be fine!" And the brunette was off before Kakashi could try to follow.

* * *

By the time Gai had made the discovery of who the vest belonged to, he figured it was far too late to try to go to Iruka's. So here he was, bright and early in the morning, fully prepared to encounter Iruka-sensei on his way to work. From what he had heard about the hard-working teacher, he always left for work early anyway, so it shouldn't be too much trouble to engage him in conversation on his way in.

But Iruka-sensei had not emerged from his house early. In fact, Iruka-sensei did not emerge from his house on time… or _at all_. Perhaps Iruka went out a back door instead of the front? The green-clad jounin peeked around the other side of the house. There _was_ no back door – just windows. He grimaced to himself – he shouldn't go peeking in the windows. Only a disrespectful pervert would do that. But… what if Iruka-sensei was hurt inside? And that's why he hadn't come out? For the second time in less than 24 hours, Gai found himself debating with his morals. Luckily, he was saved by the presence of Genma's energy.

Good… the academy had sent someone to check up on the teacher and his absence. Why Genma? _'Probably because he's always hanging around doing nothing anyway.'_

The taijutsu master watched as Genma tried knocking incessantly, then finally broke in when Iruka never answered, and then heard when someone was attacked from within. He waited impatiently outside a good twenty minutes or so while Genma and Iruka did _something_ in there. And by the time he felt their energy leave one side of the house and enter the other, he had made up his mind to snoop through the back window of the kitchen.

Well, _Genma_ had obviously been the one who'd been injured if the bleeding lip were any indication. At least Iruka was alright and spry as ever as he collected everything he needed from the kitchen floor. And Iruka was wearing a vest! Was that _his _vest? Or had he pinpointed the wrong person? And was Iruka… _kissing_ Genma? Ok, maybe he _didn't_ have the wrong person. Genma… Genma was kissing back… Maybe he _did _have the wrong person. Were they lovers? No… no… Iruka had pulled back rather harshly and was looking like he couldn't believe what just happened. Yes, he was almost positive he had found the right chuunin.

Gai continued to watch Genma after Iruka had already run down the hall and out the door. The usually stoic jounin had a mesmerized look on his face that made Gai's blood run cold. _Uh-oh…_ If Iruka had only kissed him for the sake of the mission he was assigned, this could mean trouble. He had to catch up to Iruka.

Sprinting around the house, Gai was forced to stop in his tracks once again and dive around the corner as he spotted none other than his esteemed rival. Spying on them from the shadows, a bad feeling started to well up in his gut. Why would Kakashi be here? Unless… Iruka had already gotten to him and… _Double uh-oh…_ Gai really hoped he was wrong about all this.

"What do you want, Gai?"

Gai was startled out of his thoughts by Kakashi's bored voice. Scanning the area, he realized that Iruka had run off and Kakashi had spotted him. Should he tell Kakashi? Something told him that might not be the best idea. He should really talk to Iruka before he talked to anyone else about this. He stepped out of the shadows and could only stare at Kakashi for a moment, wondering if his deductions were really true.

Kakashi sighed agitatedly. "Dammit Gai, _what_ do you _want_? I'm not in a good mood."

Oh yeah… Kakashi was lovesick…

"I – "

The door to the Umino household swung open and Genma stepped out, only to pause at the sight of the other two jounin. He raised his eyebrows and glanced between them. "Hey…"

"Yo."

"Hello."

An awkward silence fell over the area as the three jounin stared each other down, especially Genma and Kakashi. Mostly Kakashi – he had just seen another man step out of _his_ Iruka's house after all. Genma shut the door behind him. "What's going on?"

"I could ask you the same thing." Kakashi's voice was aloof, but there was definitely a threat buried somewhere in that tone.

"I was sent to check on Iruka. He was late to work." Genma's voice returned the calm threat.

Gai watched the cold exchange with an ever-growing anxiety. The little jounin triangle outside Iruka's house once again fell into silence as they merely conveyed their anger and distrust with their eyes. "Right… me too…" Kakashi eventually returned.

The senbon-sucking jounin raised an eyebrow at the quite obvious lie but didn't call him on it. "Kay… well, I'll be going back to _my_ job now… Excuse me…"

He brushed past Kakashi, and Gai swore he saw the tension actually spark between them. Kakashi turned slightly to watch him go, then finished turning all the way and took off as well, forgetting all about Gai (which he was grateful for – Kakashi looked pissed).

The green-wearing shinobi let out a breath and glanced at the sun. He judged it was about time to go meet his team. He glanced once more at the spot that was still radiating the hostility from the jounin encounter. He had a feeling that spot would retain the energy of animosity for a good while. _'Iruka-sensei… what have you started…?'_

* * *

-Stares at chapter- I think that was the most boring and worst written chapter yet. But at least it pushes the story somewhat ahead. And I got a chuckle out of imagining the little jounin triangle glaring at each other. And poor Iruka has no idea...

There are a few things in terms of grammar or spelling or word usage that I was arguing in my mind over. If anybody sees any mistakes please let me know so I can go back and fix them. Probably not right away (still have to fix that passerby/passsersby thing in chapter 2, hehe) but eventually, so everything looks good in the end.

Sorry if Gai seems a little OOC, but I figured, he can't be hyper all the time... he is a jounin. And sorry about the lack of 'intimate' interaction between Kakashi and Iruka. -Sigh- I miss it too...

And I'm also sorry for the fact that I focused a lot on Gai's thoughts this chapter. I just kept thinking back to Your Mom's Face review that suggested I refrain from doing such a thing - and you're absolutely right! It was one of the first things I promised myself when I first started writing this story. Cuz I hate it when I'm reading a Kakashi/Iruka story and all of a sudden there's this entire chapter devoted to Sasuke or something with some little two line dribble about Kakashi and Iruka at the end and I'm staring at it like 'WTF? That's not why I'm reading this.' Yeah... so, sorry about that. I tried to keep as much Iruka in there as possible.

Speaking of Your Mom's Face (by the way, your name reminds me of somebody I know), quite a few people have been writing reviews for each chapter ever since the beginning. -Hugs- I love you! Thank you so much! And thanks so much to those who have just started reviewing! I can't tell you have excited your reviews make me! I would take the time now to mention all the reviewers that have reviewed every chapter thus far... but that would require me going back to look at all the reviews and picking out the ones that are there every chapter... and alas, I am a lazy whore. Maybe next chapter...

Oh! And one last thing. I was debating giving the chapters names and, not that this really matters in the slightest to most people I'm sure, but I was wondering what everyone thought about it. Some people think that adding chapter names helps people remember where they were or what they have to look forward to... while others think that they're annoying and just simple numbers look more professional and mature. -Shrugs- I know, it's a stupid dilemma. But this is pretty much the only place where I can get a vote on it. So please let me know what you think!

And as always, if you enjoyed, please review!

**DixieGoddess**


	6. Chapter 6

Was this a fast enough update? I hope so. I tried to work on it a little every day. Be prepared for some minor Genma/Iruka stuff in the future. It's still Kakashi/Iruka, but... -blushes- I have to admit I enjoy the Genma/Iruka pairing as well. Enjoy!

* * *

All of Team Seven was in a bad mood that day. Naruto because of last night's excursion at the ramen stand; Sakura because she had had an extremely disturbing dream about Kakashi-sensei last night (nothing too graphic but still disturbing to her young mind); and Sasuke because... he was Sasuke. It didn't help that Naruto had broken into his house late last night to complain loudly and obnoxiously about Iruka-sensei and his weird behavior. According to Naruto, all the teachers in the village were going insane and it was up to them to stop the conspiracy. Sasuke had then proceeded to chuck the nearest thing he could grab at Naruto's head - and that thing happened to be his alarm clock, so he hadn't woken up on time. And now he wasn't even at the practice grounds yet... thanks to _Naruto_. At least Kakashi-sensei was never on time anyway.

Meanwhile, Sakura was still so lost in her disturbed thoughts, she hadn't even noticed Sasuke's absence yet. She hadn't even smacked Naruto and told him to shut up as the blonde continued to rant noisily about his suspicions.

However, both were quickly snapped out of their previous moods as Kakashi jumped down into the clearing, obviously in worse spirits than them. And was he...?

"Kakashi-sensei...?" The jounin cocked his head lightly in Sakura's direction. "You're... on time."

"Yes?" Sakura blinked. "Your point?" The pink-haired genin shriveled back slightly at the terse note in her teacher's tone. She mumbled a barely distinguishable 'nothing' but Kakashi seemed to buy it and took his intense stare off her. "Where's your other teammate?"

Sakura glanced around quickly, shocked that she had just realized Sasuke wasn't with them. "He's not here yet," Naruto spoke up boldly, but immediately hunched closer to Sakura when Kakashi's annoyed gaze landed on him. "Hey, it's not _my_ fault..." he muttered to the ground.

The sound of leaves crunching underfoot alerted the trio to the presence of the last genin. He was sauntering along, staring at the ground, but as soon as he looked up and spotted his instructor, he froze. Kakashi turned to pierce him with a strict look. "Sasuke... you're _late_." Sasuke merely stared with 'Confused-as-hell' clearly written all over his face. "Get in line." The harsh tone left no room for argument, so Sasuke scrambled (as stoically as he could) over to his teammates.

"Today, you'll be perfecting your silencing jutsu. And, considering it's a silencing jutsu, everything should be _silent_." With those brief instructions, Kakashi hopped up into the branches of the nearest tree and sat down, facing away from his students.

Naruto turned to Sakura. "We already _know_ the silencing jutsu."

"NARUTO! What did I just say about _silence_?" Kakashi's booming voice made all three of his trainees jump – even Sasuke.

Naruto opened his mouth to say something back, but both of his teammates quickly clamped a hand over his mouth and glared daggers at him. He hunched back in defeat.

Kakashi sighed softly. He could feel the worried and frightened aura of his students, and he wished he could turn around and apologize to them, but he just couldn't. He wasn't in the mood to deal with them right now, and a big part of him wished he hadn't shown up as early as he did. But what else did he have to do? He had once again gone to the memorial stone particularly early that morning so there was no point going back to that. His plan had been to spy on Iruka for a big part of the afternoon, but that plan was obviously foiled. He wasn't in the mood for Ichaicha Paradise (shocking but true). His only other option was to sit around and do nothing but think. Which he _was_ currently doing, but he figured he might as well get the whole 'supervising his students' thing out of the way at the same time.

He supposed he could have followed the chuunin anyway, but after seeing Genma leave the other man's house… he just wasn't all too keen on that idea anymore. Genma had _said_ he was just there because he had been sent to check on Iruka. This made perfect sense – it was completely reasonable that the academy should request that another ninja go see what was wrong with their most reliable teacher. But the _energy_ Genma was emitting… Kakashi couldn't be sure, but he was almost positive it was the same kind of spiked up, giddy energy he himself gave out whenever Iruka was around. Of course, _he_ had learned to shield it long ago, but Genma obviously was not as skilled at hiding lovesick energy as himself.

And just the _look_ in the other jounin's eye… Kakashi was sure there had been some kind of silent challenge there. Like Genma _knew_ why Kakashi was _really_ there and was upset by it. But why would he be upset by it if he didn't have any feelings for Iruka himself?

The jounin growled lowly. The whole situation with Iruka had been getting complicated enough lately – he wasn't sure how well he'd be able to handle having a rival thrown into the picture.

* * *

Iruka breezed into the classroom, more out of breath than he would have liked. It was bad enough letting his students see him so irresponsible as to be over an hour late – he didn't want to appear weak and out of shape to them too. Hell, the intimidation that came with being a chuunin was the only thing that kept the brats in line half the time. "So sorry, Asuma." He bowed deeply. "I'm sure you have more important work to be doing."

Asuma shrugged good-naturedly. "Nah… my cell students are all off on solo missions today. I'm just in desperate need of a smoke by now." He waved to the students who were mostly too busy staring at the disheveled form of their real teacher – Konohamaru was the only one who waved back energetically – and disappeared out the door, already pulling out his trusty pack of cigarettes.

Iruka hurried to organize his desk, then smiled brightly at his students. "So…" he clapped his hands together cheerfully. "Can anyone tell me what Asuma-sensei was teaching you before I got here?" Nobody raised their hand. "Anybody…?" Iruka tried using his threatening-sensei-death-glare. One little girl slowly put her hand in the air. "Yes, Momoko?"

"Iruka-sensei, what happened to your hair?"

Iruka's eyebrow twitched as several students started to snicker. "We're not discussing that. Can someone please – yes, Moegi?"

Konohamaru's friend gave her sensei a wry look. "Why are you so late?"

Thirty pairs of eyes were instantly stuck on him like glue, waiting for an answer. Iruka felt his entire eye start to spasm. "We're not discussing that either. And if nobody can tell me what you were learning – yes, Konohamaru?" He should have known better than to call on him.

"Iruka-sensei, what's on your neck?"

* * *

"I told you! I _told_ you something weird was going on with them!" Naruto attempted to look smug, but a quick kick to the face from Sasuke shut him up. He glowered up at his rival/best friend from the dirt. "Hey! You almost kicked me out of the silence-shield bubble… thing!"

Sasuke snorted. "You don't even know what it's _called_? Idiot."

Naruto stuck his tongue out. "Don't get mad at _me_ cuz _you_ were wrong and _I_ was right!" He effectively dodged the next kick. "HA-HA! Loser!"

"You know, I hate to say it, but Naruto does seem to have a point." Sakura's somewhat quiet voice snapped the two boys away from their fight. Sasuke dropped the foot that had been aiming for Naruto again, and the blonde gazed up at the kunoichi attentively. "I mean, Kakashi-sensei _was_ acting a little bit abnormal yesterday. And if Naruto's story about Iruka-sensei is true, then he was also acting out of character. These two occurrences normally wouldn't mean that anything was going on, or that they were related in any way, but now… what else did you tell me about Iruka-sensei this morning, Naruto?"

Naruto sat up straight. "Some jounin passed me while I was on my way here, and he stopped me and asked if I knew where Iruka-sensei was. I said he would be at school by that time, but the guy told me he wasn't there yet."

"And…?"

"And so I wanted to go with him to look for Iruka-sensei, but he said that that was his job and he had it covered. And when I wouldn't leave, he threatened me with this big pointy thing he had coming out of his mouth."

"So Iruka-sensei was _late_ to classes this morning?" Sasuke couldn't keep the surprise out of his voice.

Naruto shrugged. "As far as I could tell. If he wasn't there by the time that guy talked to me, then he was obviously late. It was already eight o'clock by that time."

Sakura spoke up again. "And… come on – Kakashi-sensei on time? This has _never_ happened before. And why is he so cranky after he was so jovial yesterday? It doesn't make sense." She glanced over at what little they could see of their instructor's back. "Something's going on."

Naruto nodded, trying to look solemn and knowledgeable. "Yup, that's exactly what I was thinking, Sakura. I'm glad _somebody_ can recognize my genius. All the teachers are going insane."

Sasuke sighed. "This doesn't necessarily mean that _all _the teachers are acting weird. There could just be something wrong in Kakashi-sensei's life."

"But, Iruka-sensei – "

"That doesn't prove anything! He could have just been having a bad day yesterday, and he was so stressed out he overslept. There's absolutely no evidence that his behavior is at all tied to Kakashi-sensei's."

"But Iruka-sensei was asking about Kakashi-sensei! He _never_ asks about him anymore! They _hate_ each other now!"

Sakura blinked, and Sasuke caught on to what she was thinking as well. "What do you mean 'anymore' or 'now'? Did they used to be friends?"

Naruto scratched his head. "Well… they weren't exactly _good_ friends or anything. I mean, they talked in the missions room and stuff, and Iruka-sensei would ask me how Kakashi-sensei was doing or Kakashi-sensei would ask me how Iruka-sensei was doing. And once, the three of us went out for ramen together. But… I dunno… I guess they got in a fight or something… Iruka-sensei won't really talk about it. But now all he does is complain about Kakashi-sensei and they don't seem to be friendly to each other anymore."

"But he was looking for Kakashi-sensei yesterday?" Sakura asked. Naruto nodded emphatically. "Then maybe there _is_ something going on between them. Maybe they got in another fight or something and now Kakashi-sensei is upset about it."

Sasuke glanced in the direction of the jounin. "Since when does Kakashi-sensei get upset about fighting with someone? He doesn't seem to care what other people think. And if he's really not friends with Iruka-sensei anymore, I don't see how he would care if they argued."

"Still… we can't rule out the possibility." Sakura stood silently in thought for a moment. "Don't you also find it weird how Kakashi-sensei hasn't _touched_ that perverted book of his in the past two days. He usually reads it constantly, no matter what we're doing."

"Maybe he finished the entire series for the 500th time and doesn't feel like reading them again until the new one comes out," Sasuke disputed. He sighed again. "Seriously, it's none of our business what Kakashi-sensei or Iruka-sensei have going on in their personal lives. And if we try to snoop, we'll just make them even madder."

Sakura's shoulders slumped. "I suppose you're right, Sasuke. We really shouldn't meddle." Both teammates turned to look at Naruto who now had his arms crossed and a look of immense concentration on his face. "Come on, Naruto. Agree that you won't try to pry into their personal affairs. Just leave it alone."

"Hold on, you guys…" Naruto looked up slowly. It seemed as though he had reached a revelation. "I think I know what's going on…"

Neither of his friends tried to stop him so he continued with his explanation.

"Kakashi-sensei not interested in his porn… Iruka-sensei wanting to talk to Kakashi-sensei… Iruka-sensei late while Kakashi-sensei is on time…" He gazed up at the other two who were now looking at him with anticipation. "It's so obvious!"

Both of them leaned down in the blonde's face. "_What_?"

"Iruka-sensei and Kakashi-sensei have switched bodies!"

* * *

Gai-sensei stood at the door of the Ninja Academy in serious contemplation over what approach he should use with Iruka-sensei. Should he try the subtle approach and give little hints until Iruka finally cracked and spilled the beans? Or should he just bluntly tell the teacher he knew everything and hand him back his vest? In truth, neither one seemed very appealing. Little hints and mind games were Kakashi's or Ibiki's forté – not his. On the other hand, while the blatant truth was more his style, he just didn't feel as though it would be appropriate for this situation.

He sighed. Since when did he get so involved in such complicated matters? The most he had had to worry about in a long time was Lee (and the rest of his team of course). And while there were certainly serious aspects in that job, it was usually a more light-hearted item in his life. And if his students didn't want to talk or listen to him, he could merely punch them. He doubted he could do that to Iruka and get away with it.

"Hey Gai."

The jounin turned at the familiar voice. "Hello, Raidou." He attempted his usual grin.

Raidou grinned back. "Hey, have you seen Iruka-sensei around here?"

"I don't believe he's come out of the academy yet. Is something wrong?"

Raidou looked slightly perturbed. "He's supposed to be on mission room duty, but he's half an hour late. Apparently, he was late to work this morning too. I wonder if he's sick?" Gai shrugged, choosing not to mention his involvement in the whole 'Iruka-sensei affair' that morning. "Anyway, I was sent to find him."

Gai cordially stepped aside so Raidou could continue on with his errand. The scarred man waved and smiled to him before stepping through the door. Gai grimaced as soon as Raidou was out of sight. The other jounin was on that list as well. What would happen? Once more reduced to the need to spy, Gai sped around to the other side of the building where Iruka's classroom window was.

* * *

Iruka sighed heavily onto his desk. His arms provided a resting spot for his head, and he was content with simply hiding his face from the rest of the world as he lounged at his cluttered desk, letting the breeze from the open window wash over him.

It had probably been the hardest day of teaching in his life, including the many days with Naruto or even his first day as a new teacher. The kids had been completely restless and not willing to listen. He knew it. He just _knew_ it. He had lost their respect by showing irresponsibility. And now the little boogers thought they could get away with anything because 'obviously Iruka-sensei was not on top of his game'.

It had taken quite a long time to quell their curiosity about anything pertaining to his tardiness, hair, and especially neck.

_Once the question was out of Konohamaru's mouth, he slapped a hand over the red spot and performed a genjutsu to cover it up. "That's just a scratch from my cat."_

"_You don't __**have**__ a cat," Konohamaru piped up._

_Iruka semi-glared at him. "How would __**you**__ know?"_

"_The boss told me you don't have any pets."_

"_The… boss…?" Iruka was lost. "Oh," he suddenly caught on. "Right… __**Naruto**__. Well, it's a new cat. I just got it yesterday. That's why it scratched me. It isn't used to me yet." He smiled mentally at his near-perfect lie._

"_Will you bring the cat in to show us tomorrow?" Moegi asked excitedly. The rest of the class seemed to find this a wonderful idea._

_Iruka shook his head and smiled nervously. "No, no. I don't think that's a good idea. Like I said, the cat is new, so it's not really used to people yet."_

_One of the boys in the front row scoffed loudly. "That's probably just a lame excuse because there __**is**__ no cat. If you ask me, that mark looks more like a hic – "_

_Iruka slammed his hand on the desk, creating a rather large dent and effectively shutting up the entire class, including the little front-row loudmouth who seemed to know too much for an eight-year-old. "Well, if no one will tell me what you were studying with Asuma-sensei, I'll just have to start on __**my**__ plans whether they correspond or not." He angrily reached into his vest for his lesson plan, but became deeply disturbed when he pulled out some explosive tags instead. Shit. That was right. This wasn't his vest._

_Now looking like a complete, unprepared idiot, Iruka glanced up at his waiting students. He cleared his throat. "It seems I've misplaced my lesson plan for the day, so – " A halting laugh came from somewhere in the back row. Iruka's eyes flashed. "Well… I __**was**__ going to let you all have free field practice time to work on whatever you need to work on. But now I think we'll just have a pop quiz. A __**written**__ pop quiz. Take out a sheet of paper and a pencil." Loud groans resounded throughout the classroom. "NOW!"_

Pop quizzes may sound like something that teachers enjoy giving to punish students. But if the teacher didn't actually have questions already in mind, it was just as much trouble to think up decent questions as it was for the students to provide the answers. Iruka could only smile at the fact that he had been able to come up with a few really good ones, and he hoped all the little brats failed. Then, the smile faded and he sighed. Nah… that was mean. He would probably grade on a curve. While they may be incorrigible brats with too much inquisitiveness, it wasn't really their fault that he was having a bad day.

His eyebrows furrowed as he felt a familiar energy reaching his door. _Raidou…_

Lifting his head slightly, the chuunin groaned as he realized he was once again late for his job. Mission desk duties had started half an hour ago. He let his head droop into his arms again. He wanted to cry.

Today, the job was supposed to be shared with Genma.

Why, oh _why_ hadn't he thought of that tidbit of information this morning before he went and totally mortified himself in front of the man. And after Genma had started kissing him back… Iruka blushed. He had hoped to postpone that awkward conversation for a long time… like, after he was dead and didn't have to worry about it anymore. And now, here came Raidou, another name on Iruka's list of 'people he has to humiliate himself in front of'.

The chuunin purposely ignored the soft knocking at the classroom door. When the door slid open and the jounin called his name, he still remained facedown on his desk. Maybe Raidou would think he was dead and just leave him to rot. "Iruka-sensei… wake up…" He felt a slight shaking on his forearm. Nope… damn man just thought he was asleep. "Iruka-sensei…"

Iruka was just about to lift his head up and respond to Raidou when a different idea popped into his head. He couldn't believe he had just thought it… it was ridiculous! The entire mission was ridiculous! And after all the trouble it had caused so far, he shouldn't even be considering adding another problem to the pile. And he _knew_ it was going to turn into a problem! But still… the thought would not leave him alone. He bit his lip and squeezed his eyes shut. _'Good-bye, sweet sanity…'_

Letting his face relax back to a natural position, he moaned quietly and shifted so his head was resting on his arms sideways, but still pretended to be asleep. Raidou stopped for a moment, then leaned down so he was right in the teacher's face and resumed his shaking. "Iruka-sensei! You have to wake up!"

Iruka gave another small moan. Opening his eyes just enough so he could see what he was doing, he reached his closest hand up, snagged Raidou by the collar, and tugged him down to meet his lips with his own.

Raidou froze. Well, that was certainly… unexpected. Should he pull away? Would that startle Iruka too much? Should he just stand there and let the teacher finish? He didn't know dammit! All the years of training had never prepared him for _this_! Iruka-sensei's lips were extremely soft… and he was a very tender kisser. _Wow_, was he a good kisser. And suddenly the jounin found himself relaxing into the kiss – not kissing back, but definitely doing nothing to stop it.

Pleased that he had completed his task (and without having to deal with another molesting jounin), Iruka pulled back and released Raidou slowly, blinking his eyes in an imitation of having just woken up. The jounin quickly straightened back up, a slight blush covering his cheeks. Iruka stared up at him wondrously. "Raidou…?

Raidou scratched the back of his head. "Ah… Iruka-sensei…"

Iruka let a small blush creep onto his cheeks. "I thought you were someone else…" he mumbled, glancing around.

Raidou laughed nervously. "Don't worry about it…" He coughed. "Uh… Iruka-sensei, you're late for mission room duties."

The chuunin sat up hastily. "Oh no! I'm so sorry! I'll hurry over there right now!" He jumped up and gathered his supplies, bowing quickly to Raidou on his way out. "Thanks, Raidou!"

Raidou stared at the empty doorway. "No… problem…"

Iruka rushed down the hall only stopping to pause for a moment and bang his head harshly against the wall. "I can't believe I just _did_ that!"

Gai watched both retreating figures through the window with growing apprehension. Suddenly noticing something out of place, he quickly whipped around only to catch a flash of strikingly familiar silver. His heart leapt. Had Kakashi seen that?

* * *

Genma twirled his new senbon idly between his teeth. Sighing, he once again glanced at the clock. Forty-five minutes late and Iruka _still_ wasn't there. What was going on with that man lately? He was late to classes that morning… he was late now… he had _kissed_ him… The jounin sighed. Why had Iruka kissed him? True, he had told the chuunin to, but Iruka should have known that it was all in good fun. He knew better than to take Genma's jokes seriously. But that kiss certainly hadn't been a joke.

And he had kissed back.

Did he like Iruka? The man was certainly attractive – in an ignorant-of-his-own-sexiness sort of way. Not exactly the kind of person Genma had ever imagined himself falling for, but he couldn't deny all the times he had made lewd jokes to his friends about how he wouldn't mind taking a little after-school punishment from the sexy sensei. But he never thought for an instant that it would ever actually _happen_. And if it did… well, he thought it would simply be for pleasurable purposes. But that kiss…

He sighed disgustedly. Why was he getting so worked up over a little kiss? It was just a kiss… and it was just Iruka. Those two things shouldn't be getting him this riled up.

But they were.

And therein lied the problem. He had no idea why!

And that look on Iruka's face when the kiss ended… he couldn't distinguish it… Dammit! He really needed to talk to someone about this.

Just then, the notorious chuunin schoolteacher himself rushed into the room and started apologizing profusely to Genma. Genma eyed him for a moment as Iruka continued his rushed 'sorrys'. _He _certainly didn't seem to be antagonizing over the earlier situation. The only thing the teacher looked upset about was the fact that he was, once again, horrendously late for his job. Genma sighed and stood up abruptly. "Don't worry about it, Iruka." His voice was unusually gentle, and Iruka couldn't help but notice it. He stopped babbling immediately. "Will you just excuse me for a minute? I have to take care of something."

Iruka nodded, and Genma slinked out the door. Where the hell was Raidou when he needed him?

* * *

"RAIDOU!" The scarred jounin's head snapped up as he spotted Genma jogging toward him.

He stopped and smiled. "Hey. I was just on my way back – "

"I need to talk to you."

The urgency in the other man's voice caused Raidou's smile to fail. What could possibly be so important that it caused Genma to use that tone of voice? "Alright."

The other jounin wasted no time in dragging Raidou into a nearby alley. As he checked all around them to make sure no one else was listening, Raidou was becoming increasingly nervous. Just what the hell was going on? Finally satisfied that they were alone, Genma turned back to his friend with a serious look in his eye. "What do you think about Iruka?"

Raidou blinked. _What?_ That was it? Suddenly a mental image came back of Iruka's face and the soft lips that had so lovingly caressed his own. He shook his head slightly to stop the rising blush. "What about Iruka?" He really hoped his voice sounded casual.

"What do you think about him?" Genma demanded again.

"Think about him as what? A teacher? A shinobi?"

"Just… what do you think about him?" Genma let out a breath of air, trying to remain nonchalant but failing miserably. "You know… like as a person… a dating prospect… maybe…" He trailed off as a look of realization crossed Raidou's face.

Was _this_ who Iruka thought Raidou had been? Were Iruka and Genma seeing each other? Why hadn't he been informed? Wasn't he Genma's best friend? The jounin coughed slightly to wipe away any inner thoughts that may have crept up and started making themselves known on his face. "Well… you know…" He trailed off. What was he supposed to say to that? If Genma was interested in Iruka, he couldn't very well tell him that Iruka had just kissed him. He shrugged. "I… never really thought about it. I mean, he's… Iruka Umino. The chuunin schoolteacher."

Genma sighed. "I know."

"He's nice. As far as I know. I've heard he can have a bit of a temper, if his fight with Kakashi about the Chuunin Exam is any indication. But I don't think he's a bad guy." Genma nodded. "I suppose he'd be a suitable person to date. He seems real friendly and loyal and everything." He looked closely at Genma's thinking face. "All in all, he doesn't really seem to be your type though."

Genma glared at him. "What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

Raidou shrugged. "Just that you've never really gone for the friendly, bouncy types before."

"What are you talking about? I hang out with _you_ all the time."

"Yeah, and you yell at me all the time about how I smile too much." He cracked a grin just to spite his friend. Genma muttered something unintelligible that Raidou was sure he didn't really want to hear anyway. "So, where's this coming from all of a sudden? You got a thing for the little chuunin or something?"

Genma lifted one shoulder in a half-shrug. "I honestly don't know. I just wanted your opinion." Raidou remained silent. "Whatever." Genma turned away. "I should get back to the missions desk. I left Iruka with all the work."

"Woooow…" Raidou teased. "Willing to put in effort at work to help him. I think you _do_ have a crush."

"Shove it."

Kakashi's eye narrowed in the shadows as he watched his two fellow jounin saunter away. _'Damn you, Genma… this means __**war**__.'_

* * *

Haha, stupid Naruto, confused Genma, pissed off Kakahsi... Good fun, good fun.

As for the chapter titles, I may put some in in the future if I can come up with clever names.

And Your Mom's Face - XD No, you remind me of someone I hate. Haha, just kidding - no, you remind me of someone I like. Well, actually I don't know them that well - I've only met them a few times, but they're hilarious, and your name reminds me of something they would probably say. And your reviews are wonderful and hilarious, and I always look forward to them. I always smile really wide and become anxious when I notice a new review from you. Well, I smile whenever I get _any_ reviews, but I really do look for yours all the time. Haha

If you enjoyed, please review! I love you all!

**DixieGoddess**


	7. Chapter 7

I'm so sorry it's been almost a month since I updated! I wanted to get this chapter out before school started, but alas, that didn't end up happening. So then I had other crap going on, and this kept getting pushed aside. But finally, here it is! I'm warning you though: along with the last chapter, this one is more on the boring, filler-chapter, just to provide some insight side. I already know that the next 3 chapters will be fun-filled however, so don't lose hope in me! It's only your enthusiastic hope that's kept me going this long!

* * *

Kakashi was officially pissed. And it was the first time in a very long time that his anger didn't have anything to do with an enemy ninja. No - this time it was a case of being upset with an _ally_ ninja. Which could never lead to anything good.

If Kakashi did what he really felt like doing (which was sneaking into Genma's apartment late at night, ripping him to shreds, and spreading Genma-confetti all around the village) he doubted that would be seen as reasonable behavior. And, truthfully, before this incident, Kakashi had had absolutely no sour feelings toward Genma Shiranui whatsoever. In fact, you could almost say they were friends.

It was sad, in a way, that Kakashi was allowing himself to fall into the tired cliché of two friends fighting over the same woman – well, _man_, in this case. But when it came to Iruka… goddammit – Kakashi had dibs! He had been attracted to the man for a few good years now, and interested in him as something more than a friend with eye-candy for close to a year. When was the last time Genma looked at Iruka as anything more than a fun target for his newest sexual innuendos?

Yes – Kakashi most _definitely _had dibs.

The thing that unnerved him was _what_, exactly, had caused Genma to cross the friendship barrier into 'I wanna date Iruka land' like he had done several months ago. For Kakashi, it had been the Chuunin Exam argument. Yes, it was annoying to have his judgment questioned, but the thing was – who had been the last one to ever _do_ it? Maybe that's why he'd gotten so ticked. He wasn't _used_ to people standing up to him. Especially not someone of a lower ranking. Hell, most of the chuunin in the village were terrified of him (and, for the record, he had no idea why). So when a chuunin – not even an active-duty chuunin, but just a plain, simple schoolteacher – had decided that he was going to let Kakashi know just what he thought of him… well… who knows why the human brain finds insolence sexy… but it usually does.

After that, he had started paying more attention to the brunette sensei than he ever had and, needless to say, he liked what he learned. No point going into the details, but Kakashi was sure that Iruka was the perfect match for him. Now… if only he could get Iruka to see _him_ as the perfect match for himself.

Anyway, the point was, _why_ was Genma suddenly so attracted to Iruka as well? Not that there wasn't plenty to be attracted to (again, no point going into rant mode about how wonderful Iruka-sensei was), but why was Genma seeing it all _now_ – when things were just getting good between himself and Iruka. Genma always _did_ have horrible timing.

And what about Raidou?

Kakashi cringed under his mask. He'd seen Iruka kiss him in his half-asleep daze, and he had a good mind to start plotting revenge against the heavily-scarred man as well. But Raidou hadn't seemed as though he was ready to jump on the Iruka-train after the incident. And Iruka had said that he thought Raidou was someone else… could he have been talking about _him_? He _had_ to be, Kakashi's mind reasoned. Who else did Iruka go around kissing? That thought subdued Kakashi's murderous inner rants for a moment, and a small smile crossed his features.

No… he wouldn't kill Raidou. Despite the fact that _his_ Iruka's lips had been on the other man's, he could reason out that the other jounin was an innocent.

He would stick to the Genma-only plan. Unless, of course, somebody else in the village suddenly decided that pursuing Iruka was a good idea. And considering his luck lately, Kakashi really wouldn't have been surprised.

* * *

"Sasuke…"

"Hm?"

"Could you get the fuck off me?"

"No."

"Why…?"

"Sakura's orders."

"Since when do you listen to Sakura? For that matter, since when do you listen to _anyone_ that isn't some sort of authority figure?"

"Since I decided that she actually came up with a good idea. Who am I to trash such brilliance?"

Naruto craned his head up from the dirt. He was lying on his stomach, hands tied expertly behind him, feet following suit, and Sasuke had perched himself on the blonde's lower back, looking slightly bored, as though the situation was an every day occurrence. The orange-clad ninja gave a great leer. "Ooooo… better not let Sakura hear you talking like that about her. She'll start thinking you finally cracked and love her back. Then she'll _really_ be all over you!"

Sasuke raised one eyebrow. "Since when do you mock the relationship, or lack thereof, between me and Sakura? You usually get mad at me when I'm rude to her, or she starts paying more attention to me than you… which is always…"

Rather than the expected outburst about how he was going to train real hard and make Sakura see him as more than a worthless loser and prove that he was better than Sasuke, Naruto merely gave the Uchiha a tired glare and turned back to the dirt. Sasuke blinked. What the hell had just happened?

"Oi…" Sasuke's voice betrayed underlying hints of the annoyance he was trying to hide. "What was with that look?"

"What look?"

"That _look_ you just gave me, moron!"

"I didn't give you a look!"

"Yes you did!"

Naruto spun his head again and glared at the dark-haired shinobi. "You know what, Sasuke! You always think everybody's _looking_ at you! Cuz you're so good-_looking_! Well, you know what, Sasuke! Not _everybody_ thinks so! So shut up!" With a large huff, the blonde buried his face in the dirt again, leaving the other ninja flabbergasted at how his teammate had just blown up at him, and told him to shut up… and insulted his good looks.

After a few moments of undignified gaping (for which Sasuke was glad nobody else was around and Naruto wasn't looking at him), the young shinobi's features twisted into irritation and an eyebrow started to twitch. "Well, at least I don't go around with stupid delusions about my senseis switching bodies!"

Naruto turned again. "They _have_ switched bodies! I'm positive! If you would have just let me talk to – "

"No!"

"But – "

"Kakashi-sensei was pissed off as it was! If you started spouting nonsense, he would've gotten even angrier."

"That wasn't Kakashi-sensei! It was Iruka-sensei!"

Sasuke growled. "Just shut up!" Naruto pursed his lips together, complying with the request, whether it was a conscious effort or not. The Uchiha heir sighed, trying to regain his composure. "Look… Sakura's off to find Iruka-sensei to talk to him. Once she comes back with the _real_ story, you have to shut up about your hare-brained idea."

"It's not hare-brained," the blonde grumbled, but, sick of the previous argument, he let his head drop back down and kept quiet… at least for the time being.

* * *

"Everything seems to be in order – thank you!" Iruka waved off the ninja who had just turned in his report, and the chuunin went about filling in the "For Mission Desk Use Only" sections, signing his name, and placing it into the pile of papers that would be filed away later. All this he did with a smile on his face and a bounce in his pony-tail. And Genma couldn't help but be mesmerized by the sight.

It had never occurred to him just how cute Iruka was when he was doing his job. Generally, people didn't look _cute_ when doing their jobs because most people hated their jobs. But Iruka, despite his obvious exhaustion, (which Genma was beginning to worry about), was always bright and chipper to everyone who came into the mission room. Well… unless it was Kakashi with a horrendously late and practically illegible mission report. But who could blame him?

As Iruka placed the most recent report in the to-be-filed pile, he made a conscious effort to keep smiling and avoid Genma's gaze as long as possible. If he looked content and busy, maybe Genma wouldn't start a conversation about this morning. Maybe he would even stop staring at him like that – but considering he hadn't stopped for the past few hours, Iruka highly doubted it. Why was the other man just staring? If he wanted to say something, the chuunin thought Genma would be the type to have said it by now.

But he wasn't saying anything – just staring. It was really getting unnerving.

He smiled up at the next person who approached the desk, and inwardly smiled as well when he noticed someone right behind them, approaching Genma who was now the only one free. This caused the jounin to have to divert his gaze and attention for the time being. Iruka finished up the report, this time with a less shaky hand, as Genma wasn't distracting him, and placed it in the pile. A few seconds later, another piece of paper was shoved in his face from the side.

Iruka blinked. Then, realizing that he had created the to-be-filed pile on his side only, he smiled cheerfully at Genma, though his gaze didn't actually meet the other man's eyes. "Thank you, Genma." He reached for the paper and tugged, but, for some reason, the jounin held tightly to the report. Iruka tugged again, but still was unable to take it from the other man's grasp. His smile faded at he looked at Genma who was once again doing his intense staring thing. Iruka gulped.

"Iruka – "

"Iruka-sensei!" Both mission desk employees snapped their heads toward the voice of Izumo who was poking his head through the door. "The Hokage would like to see you as soon as possible."

"Thank you, Izumo!" Iruka called, sounding a little too relieved. He quickly snatched the paper out of Genma's now slack hand and threw it on the pile. "I'm sure you can handle things here, Genma!" With a quick wave, the brunette chuunin flew out the door leaving a very confused Genma and a very pissed-off Kakashi who had just stepped through the door before Izumo, and was promptly ignored by the person he had specifically come to see.

* * *

Iruka quit flying down the hall as soon as he was sure he was out of sight of the mission room. Sighing and continuing at a more leisurely pace, he ran a hand through his hair, slightly mussing it. People may have thought Iruka wasn't sharp and a little naïve, but he wasn't as imperceptive as everyone thought. He knew that kiss this morning had changed something between him and Genma – for the better or for worse, he didn't know yet, and he sincerely hoped he could keep avoiding Genma so he would never have to find out. And he knew that the kiss – well, more of a make-out session… or two – with Kakashi had altered their relationship in some way. That one, he was sure was for the worse, since he had left Kakashi more than a little horny in their previous encounters. He still had no idea why Kakashi kept pursuing him, but it couldn't be anything good.

Again, the thought that Kakashi wanted to make him into a personal sex-toy crossed his mind. He knew the jounin was a pervert… but honestly, he had always given him more credit than to sink to that level, but maybe he had been wrong? At any rate, it was getting unsettling that Kakashi seemed to be following him around and showing up all over the place. He had noticed him at the door when he left, and had ignored him on purpose so as not to start anything.

Iruka shook his head as he approached the Hokage's office. This wasn't the time to dwell on such matters. Maybe the Hokage had called him in to tell him that she was canceling the mission! Iruka couldn't stop the smile from forming on his face at the thought, and he was sure that if he could see the expression on the ANBU guards' faces, they would have looked at him funny for grinning for no reason. As was the case, he _couldn't_ see their confused looks, and he _kept_ the stupid smile on his face, and the ANBU guards let him in as though they were expecting him without making some comment on his smile (then again, the ANBU didn't talk very much, especially to chuunin that looked half crazed).

However, Iruka's lifted spirits dropped instantly as he spotted the wide smirk on Tsunade's face. His features fell. No way in hell would she _ever_ drop a mission like this. It would be far too amusing for her to make him carry it all the way through. He stopped smiling and bowed slightly. "You wanted to see me, Lady Hokage?" He was amazed at how tired he sounded, and obviously, so was Tsunade.

Her smirk faded a bit, and she raised a curious eyebrow. "Are you alright, Iruka-sensei? You don't need to be checked back into the hospital, do you?"

Iruka shook his head. "I'm fine. Just didn't get much sleep last night."

The depraved smile returned to the leader's face. "Up strategizing, were we?" she asked, in a happy, high-pitched tone. Iruka didn't answer. "That's actually the reason I called you here, Iruka-sensei. I just wanted to check if you had started that mission yet. I know it's only the second day, but – "

Iruka's mind tuned out the rest of what the Hokage was babbling about. _'Jeez! She's right! It __**is**__ only the second day! It's only the second day of this stupid mission and I've already humiliated myself in front of three of my co-workers, gotten shanghaied into an intimate encounter with Kakashi __**twice**__, and shifted the entire nature of my relationship with Genma! And it's only, the __**second **__**day**__.'_

Tsunade stopped her girlish giggling at the far-off look on Iruka's face. He had obviously stopped listening to her. "Iruka-sensei!" The chuunin jumped slightly as he snapped out of his thoughts. "Lost in thought?"

Iruka nodded dumbly, then instantly bowed deeply when it hit him what the comment meant. "I'm sorry, Lady Hokage! You were saying… about the mission?"

Tsunade smiled, though not quite as wickedly as before. "Yes. Have you made any progress? Have you at least come up with a strategy?"

Iruka bobbed his head slightly. "I've already gotten through three people," he muttered, staring at the ground.

The Hokage was silent for a moment. Then, she leaned back in her chair and gave a devious smirk. "_Three_?" She chuckled lowly. "My, my, you've been a busy little bee!" Iruka blushed. "Well, good for you, Iruka-sensei! You always _have_ been a dedicated worker. And it's not so bad, is it? I'll bet you've had fun!" Iruka raised his head, and, for the first time since the beginning of the meeting, was able to clearly express his true emotions – clear and present annoyance and anger. The Hokage, sensing the murderous aura, immediately wiped the smile off her face and cleared her throat. "Perhaps not?"

Iruka sighed. "Lady Hokage, if you don't mind my asking again – "

"I'm not telling you who requested this mission or why you're the only one who can do it."

Iruka turned to face the door. "I didn't think so. Good day then."

"Iruka-sensei!" Iruka glanced over his shoulder. The Hokage actually had a small look of pity on her face. He guessed he looked pretty damn pathetic right now. "Would you like me to fix your hair?"

Iruka searched the woman's face for any sign of a joke or prank, but, finding none, he turned back to her tiredly. "Yes, please."

* * *

Iruka left the Hokage's office fifteen minutes later in slightly higher (but by no means restored) spirits. At least his hair looked decent once again, and the Hokage hadn't even asked what had happened in the first place or seen through his Hickey-genjustu. Or if she had, she had refrained from mentioning it – which was doubtful, considering Tsunade's general personality – so that cheered the chuunin up a bit.

However, whatever little happiness these trivialities brought him, they were just that – trivialities. And he still had a mountain of problems looming before him. As he sauntered along, trying to list them in his head, he realized he couldn't even keep them straight anymore. There were just too many. He would have to make a list when he got home.

Iruka sighed loudly and tilted his head toward the rapidly darkening sky. "This is ridiculous." The words were no more than an exasperated whisper, but they rang over and over again in the chuunin's ears – taunting him with the undeniable truth that all his deep-seeded problems lied within one utterly ridiculous task.

Life sucked sometimes.

"Iruka-sensei!"

The chuunin's head turned at the sound of the girlish voice to see none other than his former student, Sakura Haruno, rush up to him. He smiled genuinely for the first time in what seemed like a long while. "Hello, Sakura."

The pink-haired girl grinned up at him. "I've been looking for you all day. Are you busy, Iruka-sensei?"

"Well, I'm supposed to be getting back to the mission room – " the brunette cut himself off at the thought of Genma and his weird behavior and Kakashi, who was probably still lounging near the doorway, knowing him and the fact that he had nowhere else to be. "But my shift is almost over anyway! What's up?"

Sakura blinked a bit at the older man's response. It wasn't like Iruka-sensei to dodge _any_ sort of responsibility. Could Naruto…? _'NO!'_ The genin shook her head stubbornly. That was stupid! She was here to prove that idiot wrong! "Well… um…" Great… now how was she supposed to do that? In all the time that it had taken to find Iruka-sensei, she hadn't actually thought about what she was going to _say_ once she found him. 'You don't happen to actually be Kakashi-sensei, do you?' seemed a little… odd.

"You said you've been looking for me all day. Is it important?" Iruka cocked his head to the side, letting a worried look cross his face.

Sakura quickly shook her head, laughing off any apparent nervousness. "Oh, no. I just heard that you and Kakashi-sensei may have had a fight… and I wanted to find out more about it… you know, since Kakashi-sensei seemed kinda upset today." _'Real smooth…'_ Sakura thought glumly. She certainly wasn't going into the interrogation field.

Iruka stiffened a bit. Kakashi was upset? Dammit! Then his eyes narrowed slightly. Why was his former student so interested in his and Kakashi's relationship? True, it involved her sensei, but Sakura had always been the type that saw it best to stay out of other's personal affairs. Now if it was Naruto… but it wasn't. "Well…" Iruka spoke slowly, choosing his words carefully. Sakura's strange behavior could very well mean that Kakashi was using his students to somehow set him up – how? He had no idea how… but the man was a genius… he wouldn't put it past him. "Kakashi-sensei and I had a bit of a… run-in… you could say."

"Really?" Sakura seemed surprised, curious, and somewhat relieved all at the same time. "What was it about? If you don't mind me asking?"

Iruka smiled brightly. "I really shouldn't be discussing your sensei's personal life with you, Sakura."

Sakura seemed to deflate. "Right… sorry I asked, Iruka-sensei. I was just curious." She beamed up at him, more than a little obviously fake. "Well, I'm sure you two will work it out. See you later!" And just like that, the awkward-looking girl was gone, and Iruka was, once again, trying to piece together just what the hell was going on.

* * *

Kakashi was, for the third time that day, thoroughly ticked off. But by then, it had become more of an exasperated ticked off, than an I'm-gonna-kill-the-next-thing-that-moves ticked off. After waiting for a good hour for Iruka to show up again (while having numerous glaring contests with Genma), he had finally given up and wandered back out of the mission room.

He had never realized just how frustrating it was to wait for someone – was this seriously how people felt when he was late? Jeez… he deserved to be yelled and glared at. Not that this revelation was, in any way, going to change his schedule, but at least he could now offer sympathy. In fact, he was going to use this newfound sympathy not-so-bright-and-early tomorrow afternoon when he made sure he was doubly late meeting his team (to make up for his behavior today). Sounded like a good plan to him.

Alas, the thought of tormenting his students didn't give him quite the boost of exuberance that it usually did. His thoughts were still fixed on Iruka.

He had been brooding on the subject all day during 'training', all late-afternoon after witnessing the Raidou/Iruka moment in the classroom and Genma's alleyway confession, and for another hour in the mission room after the chuunin ignored his presence. He had gone from amused to elated to confused to angered and back around again several times in the past few days. And for a jounin that usually hid his emotions in the back of his mind, the roller-coaster was starting to make him feel sick.

He had tried being straight-forward with Iruka… but that plan backfired. He had tried being subtle and was promptly ignored. He had tried giving the chuunin his space, but that was really starting to wear on him.

In the pale moonlight hanging over Hidden Leaf, Kakashi huffed, taking off in the direction of the schoolteacher's house with a new determination. Enough was enough. He and Iruka needed to have a little chat.

* * *

Gai was upset. And Gai Maito did not get upset easily. Yes, one could say he was _enthusiastic_, especially when dealing with his students, but upset? Rarely.

And the fact that he was so upset when he seldom got upset was making him even more upset. It was a vicious cycle.

If he didn't do something about this Iruka-sensei situation soon, he would lose his mind. He was well aware that many people in the village thought he had _already_ lost his mind, but it was still there, thank you very much. And he really wanted to keep it that way.

Strapping on one of his other vests, he grabbed up Iruka's and jumped out the window.

It was dark now… Iruka should be off Mission Desk duties and home. Like it or not, it was confrontation time.

* * *

Iruka tugged out his pony-tail holder – the last bit in his getting ready for bed ritual. It was early – only a little past 9. But it had been a long day. And coupled with the day before it, Iruka was honestly surprised that a year hadn't passed. He deserved a good night's rest. The quizzes would have to wait to be graded some other time. It would just be another thing on his list of problems that needed to be taken care of.

He switched off the light and crawled into bed, mumbling to himself. "Vest… Genma… Kakashi… Mission… Kisses… Tsunade-bitch… Mission… Quizzes… Kakashi…"

He was just about to drift off into dream-land when his eyes snapped open in the darkness at the unmistakable feeling of hot breath against his neck.

* * *

Again, here's a promise that the next chapter will be semi-smutty, and the next 3 chapters will be more fun (AKA: Jiraiya!)

Soelle: I will try my very hardest not to throw something utterly silly into this story just for the sake of humor. Actually, sometimes, I label things humor, but they're really not that funny. I have a very... not -dry- per say... but lackadaisical sense of humor. So I don't even know if half the stuff I put in that's supposed to be subtlely funny is even getting through. So no - definitely none of that starting with an intelligent story... putting the chapters on crack... and then wrapping it up with a semi-intelligent ending crap. I read this story once that started really well, and then it was like the author started doing LSD, and then the last chapter was like the chapter on rehab or something. It was messed up.

Your Mom's Face: Once again, you make me laugh out loud and curl up in my computer chair cuz my stomach starts hurting. And I promise that there won't be too much angst. Maybe a little towards the end, but I promise mostly light-hearted angst (if that makes sense)and a happy ending (yay!).

Just a fun review I thought I'd share with you all cuz it made me smile: _Hey, I haven't read your story nor am I going to cause I'm not into yaoi. I just wanted to stop by and comment about the title. "Kiss me deadly". Ey, ey ey, I think I know where you got the title from. Kiss me Deadly, a hardcore anal porno, starring Gia Jordan. tsk tsk tsk_ Well...? Not my original intention but... M-rated Kakashi/Iruka... anal porn...? I can see the connection. Hardcore? I'm not so sure about that, plus kick Gia Jordan the hell out of the picture cuz she's screwing up all the Kakashi/Iruka goodness, but other than that... XD

As always, if you enjoyed, please review!

**DixieGoddess**


	8. Chapter 8

Good gods, I didn't even realize that it had been over 2 months since my last update, and I am ashamed. Yeah, so sorry! But thank the snow day on Friday for this update. I got a lot done that day. YEAH! SNOW DAY! Anyway, longer notes will be at the bottom, along with a challenge for any artists. So take a look there for any other news. For now, I'll just let you get on with the story.

* * *

Quick as lightning, Iruka's hand slid under his pillow, closed around the kunai he always kept there for safety, and turned and struck out at whoever dared to enter his house at this time of night.

The person in question gave out an undignified squeak, barely dodging the sharp weapon in time. They toppled off the other side of the bed and a few shorn hairs floated gently to the sheets. Iruka's eyebrows knit in confusion. That squeak had sounded so familiar… Reaching behind him, he turned on his lamp and glanced down at the hair on the bed – blonde… "Oh my god!" Scrambling over so he could peer over the side of the bed, the chuunin gave out a helpless cry as he spotted none other than his favorite ex-student who was currently sprawled out with a frightened look on his face, eyes turned up to where he had gotten an impromptu haircut. "Naruto!"

The boy was breathing heavily. Blue eyes shifted accusingly to the flustered teacher. "You tried to _kill_ me!"

"Are you _alright_?"

"You tried to _**kill**_ me!"

Iruka sighed, sitting back and shoving the kunai back under his pillow. It was obvious the young boy was alright – just shocked. "Naruto – _what_ are you doing here?"

The blonde popped up and leaned his upper body against the bed. "You flung a freaking kunai at my head!"

Iruka pursed his lips and glared at his former student. "I did not_ fling_ anything at you, Naruto. I _swung _it at you."

"Either way, you tried to take my head off!"

"What? Like you've never had that happen to you before?"

"On missions, sure! But not by you!"

"_Naruto_! _WHAT_ are you doing here?"

The boy finally stopped fretting over his near-death experience and gazed at the irate teacher for a moment. "Uh… nothing…?"

Iruka's eyebrow twitched. "Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"Yeah, it's like 9 o'clock."

The chuunin glared some more. "Regardless, _some_ people like to sleep at this hour, which it was _quite_ obvious that I was doing. And since when do you _sneak_ into my house _silently_? You usually come bursting through the front door screaming my name!"

"Uhh…"

"Naruto, tell me what's going on right now, or I will never buy you ramen ever again."

The blonde's eyes widened at the threat, as Iruka knew they would. However, he wasn't prepared for the eyes to just as quickly narrow again and have a dirty look shot his way. Iruka blinked. "Not a very potent threat, considering you ditched me the other night and never bought me ramen anyway!"

Iruka might have dwelled longer on wondering where the hell Naruto had learned the word 'potent' had he not been so busy feeling extremely guilty. He groaned and slammed his head in his palm. "Oh, man! Naruto, I'm so sorry! I just got so caught up in…" He fought a blush as he glanced at the impatient boy. "… _something_, that I completely forgot."

"Must've been important," Naruto grumbled in a half-sarcastic voice.

"It… was… but still, I'm sorry, Naruto. I'll make it up to you."

"Mm-hm…"

"I'll take you out to dinner tomorrow night. I promise."

"It's not like you to _forget_ things, sensei."

Iruka's eyebrows shot up at the demanding tone the blonde's voice suddenly took on. Since when was Naruto such a little interrogator? "I told you, Naruto – I was busy and it just slipped my mind. It happens to everyone."

"Busy doing what?"

The teacher couldn't keep the blush off his face this time. "That's none of your concern!" he barked out in what he hoped was his scary-sensei voice. "Just go home and let me go back to sleep."

"Busy with Kakashi-sensei?"

Iruka jerked. Wide brown eyes stared into the questioning blue ones of the young boy. Naruto couldn't know, could he? There was no way! Kakashi may read his books in front of his students, but he would never tell them that their former sensei… "N-Naruto…" The chuunin tried to smile but only half of his mouth managed to twitch up in a twisted grin. "What do you mean by that?"

"You were looking for Kakashi-sensei last night."

"Yeeeees… yes, I was…"

"You guys sure talked a long time."

Iruka let out a tiny sigh of relief and his tense body relaxed. Naruto hadn't meant what he thought he meant. The little man that lived in Iruka's head was such a paranoid pervert. He attempted the smile once again. "It didn't take that long… I just got caught up in something else afterwards." The blonde was still glaring suspiciously, and Iruka felt absolutely horrible for lying to him. But there was no way he was going to tell a thirteen-year-old the truth about last night's excursion.

"So, what did you talk about?"

"Nothing much… Seriously, Naruto, _why_ are you in my house?" Iruka was beyond confusion at this point. Everybody around him seemed to be getting weirder every day, and he honestly didn't need someone who was already as weird as Naruto was to be getting any worse. This was just frustrating now.

Naruto suddenly leaped up on the bed causing the poor teacher to react quickly by leaning back and thus falling off the other side. "IS IT _YOUR_ HOUSE? _IS _IT?"

The chuunin stared up off the floor in bewilderment, the blonde's finger pointed accusingly at him. _What the - _"What are you _talking_ about? Yes, it's _my_ house! It's _been_ my house since I was a kid!"

Naruto fell to his knees, gripping the side of the bed so he could lean over and be eye to eye with Iruka. "You mean, it's been _Iruka-sensei's_ house since _he_ was a kid!"

Iruka couldn't have been more confused and agitated if he had tried. Was Naruto high? He _knew_ he should have given him the talk about drugs and such earlier! He had kept putting it off and putting it off, thinking Naruto was too young. And now it was coming back to bite him in the ass – or point in his face – whichever you prefer. Point was – Naruto _had_ to be on something. "Naruto… _what_ exactly did you ingest, and who gave it to you?"

This stopped the genin's tirade for a moment as he tried to process what his ex-teacher was asking him. Finally, realizing that he wouldn't be able to understand no matter how long he sat there like an idiot, he waved the intruding finger in the other man's face again. "Stop trying to change the subject! Just admit it!"

"Admit…?"

"Admit that you're Kakashi-sensei!"

The chuunin's eyes bugged out and he found himself unable to speak for a long moment, giving Naruto ample time to continue.

"Yeah, you think I'm not so smart, huh? Well, I showed you! It was _sooooooo _obvious! Iruka-sensei is _never_ late for work, and Kakashi-sensei is _never _on time! But today, the roles were switched! And you thought I wouldn't notice! You two never talk! Like you could be discussing anything but how you were going to get back into your own bodies! I am such a – " **BAM!**

Iruka blinked slowly as he registered that Naruto could no longer continue his psychotic speech because he was on the ground next to the teacher, unconscious, a gloved fist where his head used to be. Brown eyes traveled up the short distance to peer owlishly at the one-eyed jounin who was now crouched on his bed, looking a little too pleased with what he had just done to one of his students. Kakashi realized the chuunin was now staring at him and relaxed his fist into a wave. "Good evening, Iruka-sensei."

Iruka stared a moment more. Kakashi… Kakashi was in his house… Kakashi was on his _bed_… he was wearing nothing but pajama pants… this seemed far too familiar. The chuunin began to blush, and Kakashi couldn't help but be utterly intrigued by the sight. Iruka had always been cute when he blushed. Trying to find a way to dispel the physical signs of embarrassment, the chuunin quickly looked back to the unconscious Naruto. "You knocked him out!"

Kakashi dropped his hand and peered down at Naruto uninterestedly. "He'll be fine."

"He's not moving!"

"Thus the 'knocking out' part. Don't worry. He'll wake up in a few minutes. He's bounced back from worse." He tried to give the flustered teacher a reassuring smile, but Iruka didn't seem to be paying much attention to the jounin's face. In fact, he seemed to be avoiding looking at it as much as possible.

"Yes, you're right…" Iruka stood up quickly. "Though, I should probably get some ice for him to put on his head for when he wakes up. That'll leave a bump." The chuunin practically ran from the room, leaving a frowning jounin.

What had he done? Well, ok, he had knocked out the man's favorite student, but the stupid kid had been babbling nonsense, and Kakashi had come for _important _business. Other than that, he had been polite. Ok, coming through the window – not so polite maybe, but it was wide open, and Iruka hadn't made any comment on it. But he had said good evening, smiled, not let anything too stupid fly out of his uncooperative mouth, kept his hands to himself and his mask firmly in place; he had even added the _sensei _to the end of Iruka's name to make him feel more comfortable. Yet, the other man still seemed nervous around him. He couldn't really be regretting…?

_No!_ Kakashi shook his head. Iruka had been the initiator for both incidents. That had to mean _something_. And Kakashi was here to talk. Yes, _talk_. He needed to go talk to Iruka before the rambunctious student woke up and he was forced to hurt him again. Stealthily slinking after the other man, Kakashi found him in the kitchen, tying a bundle of ice cubes up in a rag. He was moving slowly, seemingly too lost in thought to notice the jounin's presence behind him. So Kakashi waited patiently.

Finally, the chuunin turned, and, as the jounin realized he should have predicted, he jumped like a frightened rabbit, dropping the makeshift ice pack in the process. The rag flew open and ice crashed all over the kitchen floor. Iruka took in a deep breath, hand to his heart, as he tried to glare at Kakashi. It was difficult to look truly angry as the jounin stood there with a sheepish smile on his face. The brunette could only be grateful that the other man had his mask on so he couldn't see the whole smile. Even the mental image of Kakashi's unmasked face smiling at him in that way had Iruka fighting a blush.

As Iruka struggled with something coherent to say, Kakashi crouched, grabbing the rag and refilling it with the scattered ice chips. "Sorry about that, Iruka-sensei. I shouldn't have snuck up on you like that."

Iruka stared at the top of the messy silver head as the jounin continued his task. Kakashi was being so… _nice_. He wasn't acting angry, frustrated, perverted, teasing, or sarcastic. He was actually being _civil_. It was as if the past two days hadn't even occurred.

As Kakashi finished collecting all the ice he could, he tied the rag back up and stood, handing it to a very flustered chuunin. He hardly seemed to register the gesture in his mind, considering he didn't even thank Kakashi. The jounin had to wonder if Iruka really was just _that_ spaced out that he forgot his ever-present manners, or if he was actually _that _upset that he was _refusing_ to be polite to him.

Kakashi felt a flare of indignation. What right did Iruka have to be upset? The teacher was the one being the major tease in this entire incident. But as he looked at Iruka's flushed and innocently confused face, the jounin's previous feelings dissipated quickly. Kakashi sighed. He had run to Iruka's home with every intention of fully confronting the chuunin, but the poor sensei's obvious discomfort squashed that idea. Perhaps if they were still in the stage of their 'relationship' where Iruka showed absolutely no interest and Kakashi constantly spouted nonsense to try to gain his attention, he would have pressed the issue like he had been planning. But… that was no longer the case.

He couldn't pretend that he wasn't irritated by the whole ordeal; Iruka getting his hopes up, running off, acting like a confused little school girl, and then repeating the entire cycle. But acting like a demanding ass surely wasn't going to get him out of the vicious circle anytime soon. It was time to stop being a social retard and actually _try_ to act normal. Hey, Kakashi was a genius – it shouldn't be that difficult.

"I think we should just forget about the past two days."

Kakashi blinked stupidly. His mouth had opened, but those words hadn't been his… He glanced at Iruka who was blushing at the floor as though it had just told a dirty joke. The words had come out in a rush, but the jounin's sensitive ears had caught every one of them, and they made his heart ache. He resisted the urge to actually grab at his chest where it was now throbbing painfully. Damn chuunin! He shouldn't be able to make him feel this way.

Why should he care anyway? So what if Iruka wanted to regret and forget the entire ordeal. It had always been a long shot anyway, and Kakashi was used to bitter disappointment. Things would just go back to the way they were before.

Not getting a response from the shock-stricken jounin, Iruka brushed by him quickly, carrying the ice to Naruto, and continued speaking over his shoulder. If Kakashi was really as pissed as Iruka was sure he was, he at least wanted to get the ice pack to Naruto before the copy-nin killed him. "I mean, I just haven't been myself lately, and things have been… really complicated, and I'm so sorry for everything, so I think it would be best if we just pretended that nothing happened and get on with our lives." He cringed at his last words. Did he actually expect Kakashi to say that everything was hunky-dory and go back to their normal routine?

Yes, he was fully prepared to face death now. At least that would mean that the horrible mission of doom would be over.

Iruka hoisted the still unconscious Naruto onto the bed and settled the rag of ice over the bump. He then took a deep breath and spun to face his demise. But Kakashi was simply leaning against the doorway with an unreadable expression on the exposed part of his face. Iruka's eyebrows knit in worry, but before anything else could be either said or done a disgusted snort came from the still open window. The chuunin turned toward the source of the noise, and Kakashi merely flicked his eye over to his other male genin.

Sasuke Uchiha glared tiredly at the incapacitated blonde on the bed, then shot Iruka an apologetic look. "I tried to stop him, but he managed to… take me by surprise…" The raven-haired boy shifted his gaze quickly, obviously embarrassed. Iruka assumed it was simply because the Uchiha heir hated admitting any sort of defeat.

The teacher nodded slowly. "What on earth was he talking about earlier, about switching bodies?"

Sasuke sighed, stepping up to the bed, and hoisting the blonde carelessly over his shoulder. "Just something stupid he came up with about you and Kakashi-sensei. He thinks you've somehow switched bodies since you – " he cut himself off suddenly as he just realized that his sensei in question was lurking in the doorway, eye glistening with exhausted irritation. He shifted his eyes back and forth between the two teachers, taking in Kakashi's unprecedented appearance in Iruka-sensei's… _bedroom_, and Iruka's state of almost-complete undress. Iruka noticed the gaze and shuffled uncomfortably, not knowing how to explain anything at that point.

Fortunately, Sasuke regained his usual composure back in a hurry, and cleared his throat, looking bored and annoyed again. "Anyway, he's just being a moron today… as usual. I'll take him home now – get him out of your… way…" The genin almost blanched as he realized the implications of his words, and just barely caught himself, turning quickly.

Iruka blushed brightly, wishing (not for the first time) that he would just die on the spot. He coughed nervously. "Kakashi-sensei and I just have a few things to discuss." Sasuke turned his head back slightly and nodded. "And you can tell Naruto that it has nothing to do with regaining our rightful bodies back." Iruka still didn't understand any of that part, but he decided to forget it for the time being. Sasuke smirked. Iruka bent down to the bed where the ice-filled rag had fallen when Sasuke hoisted his teammate up, and held out the rag to the Uchiha. Sasuke took it and nodded to the two teachers before hopping out the window, Naruto flopping around unceremoniously over the boy's shoulder.

Kakashi blinked, finally snapping out of his thoughts. To be perfectly honest, he had hardly paid Sasuke's visit any attention whatsoever. He had been too engrossed in his thoughts about Iruka.

So Iruka wanted to forget it, huh? Just go back to the way things were? _'Well, forget __**that**__ idea!'_ Kakashi's mind raged. He had always been a self-sufficient, independent, elite jounin with no need for anyone else. This hadn't changed when he first realized that he had a thing for Iruka. It was on his mind, sure, but it wasn't a full-blown _obsession_. But now… now that Iruka was finally starting to change his mind, Kakashi would not let the chance be wasted. His hopes were up now, thanks to the tease of a chuunin, and the stubborn jounin would be damned if he just let Iruka get away with it now. _Nobody_ played with the infamous copy-nin's feelings.

And yes, they were _feelings_. Real feelings of which the stone-hearted jounin hadn't felt in a long time. With the entire incident of Iruka getting him worked up, Iruka ignoring him, and Genma jumping on the Iruka-train, Kakashi had finally been slapped in the face with his own true intentions. He may have always been a little socially inept, but he was _not_ a coward, and he was going to face these feelings and challenges head-on, thank you very much, and Iruka, (who Kakashi had always figured would've been the more open one in the relationship) was not going to wiggle out of it.

The chuunin may be bashful, but Kakashi was sure that _his _determination could outlast any shyness that the sensei may possess.

And thus, Kakashi had made up his mind. The feelings were there – it was obvious from the way Iruka had been acting around him – the feelings were returned – which Kakashi thought should have been obvious to the chuunin considering his own actions the past couple days – and Kakashi was a stubborn bastard with love on his mind. He wasn't just going to leave it alone and pretend nothing happened. And Iruka sure as hell wasn't either. He would make sure of it.

Iruka watched Sasuke disappear into the distance, not forgetting for a second who was still behind him. "Kakashi-sensei…" he whispered, slightly fearful of continuing the conversation. But he was abruptly cut off as he felt a taller, leaner body suddenly press up against him from behind. His breath caught in his throat, one part of his brain telling him that this was the end, another part getting quite turned on from reminders of what that very body could do.

His thoughts of death were quickly squashed, however, when one gloved hand came to rest possessively in the juncture between Iruka's thigh and groin, the other on his bare waist. The brunette fought back a shiver. A still-masked face pressed into the tan neck, sending warm breath over the hypersensitive skin. "I'm not going to _forget_ this, Iruka-_sensei_." Despite what Iruka heard as a threat, he trembled slightly at the way the word 'sensei' came out of the jounin's mouth. Gods, he would never be able to listen to his students talk to him with an innocent mind ever again.

A slight rustling from outside the (damned, in Iruka's opinion) window caught both mens' attention. Iruka would have liked Kakashi to jump back quickly, but that didn't seem to be the copy-nin's way of handling awkward situations. He glanced outside at the intruder, before slowly stepping away from and around the frozen chuunin. The "intruder" could only stand there gaping. As Iruka was finally free from the mind-churning touch, he snapped back to his senses and gasped softly at the sight outside his window. "Gai-sensei…" he choked out. From the expression on the taijutsu master's face, it was evident that he had witnessed more than he should have. The teacher's face burned. "What can I help you with?"

Kakashi merely looked bored, as he usually did when Gai popped up. The green-clad man looked extremely befuddled, a great contrast to his usual exuberant, overly-confident manner. Iruka began to worry, and Kakashi raised an eyebrow in suspicion. Gai nearly started to sweat. What on earth was he supposed to do now? He had come with every intention of confronting Iruka-sensei, but he couldn't very well do that with Kakashi standing right there. And by the look on his face and his planted stance, it didn't look as though he planned on leaving any time soon. He quickly tried to think of something witty to say, but Kakashi opened his mouth first. "Why do you have two vests.?"

All three pairs (or in Kakashi's case, half a pair) of eyes glanced down at the extra shinobi vest that Gai was clutching tightly. The blue beast's mouth dropped open, and he made a few indecipherable sounds as he attempted to explain the peculiar phenomenon. Kakashi was still staring at Gai, beginning to grow a bit impatient with the other man's slow answering - Gai had been acting weird all damn day. Finally, the other jounin shook the vest lightly. "It's just a spare vest."

Kakashi arched his visible eyebrow. "Why are you carrying around a spare vest in the middle of the night?"

Gai shrugged. "Why not?"

Having already realized many times that there was really no point in arguing with Gai's logic, Kakashi simply let his eye muscles spasm (as they are prone to do in ridiculous situations), and dropped the subject. Iruka's brain was trying to recuperate from the compromising position he had just been caught in – the wheels grinding back into motion, trying to tell him that the appearance of the spandex-clad jounin with a spare vest meant something _to him_, but he was ripped from those personal thoughts when the silver-haired jounin asked what Gai was doing at Iruka's window. _'He better not be developing a thing for him too,'_ Kakashi's possessive inner-voice spat. He may have been Kakashi's best friend, but he swore that he was going to shove Gai's own beauty and youth up his ass if he discovered that the other jounin was after Iruka too.

"The Hokage needs us for a mission!" Gai suddenly shouted, making both the men in the bedroom jump. Gai was grinning widely now as though he had just discovered a most amazing treasure (or come up with a very good cover).

"_Now_?"

Gai nodded enthusiastically.

Kakashi huffed, annoyed. Any mission that was so important that he needed to head out in the middle of the night couldn't be good. "Fine. Let's go."

Gai suddenly looked like a deer caught in headlights. "What? Right now?"

Kakashi could feel his eye muscles wanting to pop right out of his face. "You said the Hokage needed us _now_." Seriously, if this was how Gai was going to act the entire mission, Kakashi wasn't sure the green-clad jounin would last much longer than any enemy ninja.

"Right, yes – yes she does!" Gai cried enthusiastically. _'Now what am I supposed to do?'_

"Right… then let's go." Kakashi plodded toward the window.

"Yes, let us go! LET US GO AND RETRIEVE OUR MISSION FROM THE FAIR HOKAGE!" Not being able to do anything else, Gai took off at a sprint in the direction of Hokage Tower.

Kakashi shook his head lightly and prepared to follow him.

"Be careful." The soft voice had the jounin turning back to a slightly flustered Iruka who wouldn't look him directly in the eye.

Kakashi smiled reassuringly, his eye curving. "I will. And I _will_ be back to finish this conversation."

Iruka shivered as the silver-haired jounin disappeared into the night.

* * *

I know, I know, it is _so_ not as smutty as I promised. But I promise Jiraiya for the next chapter! (Which will hopefully be out much sooner than this one was).

Anyway, a challenge for any fanart artists: Draw a picture of Gai in _casual_ clothes. I don't know if any actually exist at the moment, but I can tell you that I can't find any. So, if you're up to it, please send me any pictures or links of websites with the picture on them to Milniumhandcufs yahoo .com (obviously without the spaces). I wish I could offer some sort of prize, but... I can't. So this is just for fun. I'll give the artists an honorable mention or something in the next chapter.

I'm sure that there is so much more I want to say here, but it's been so long since I was able to post a chapter, I've completely forgotten anything I wanted to say. So I guess all I can do is say stay tuned for a hopefully quick update. Oh! and watch out for another Kakairu story that will be posted in the hopefully near future. By the way, Soul Shadow, if any of you have read it, is going to be taken down. I'm just not feeling it. But the other one will take its place once it comes down. So look forward to that.

And as always, if you enjoyed please review!

**DixieGoddess**


	9. Chapter 9

So all the chapters of this story have been re-edited – all grammar and spelling should be correct - conversations have been slightly altered. Nothing too drastic has changed – it just flows better in certain parts. But other than that…

Yeah… I think I'm just going to go hide in the corner until you've all read the chapter, and are thus much happier with me… Yeah…

* * *

"Gai?"

"Yes, my Eternal Rival!"

"You're 100 percent _sure_ that _this _is what the Hokage's mission for us was?"

Gai turned and flashed Kakashi his million watt smile, temporarily blinding the other jounin. "OF COURSE, FAIR RIVAL! THIS IS CLEARLY WHAT WAS INDICATED IN THE NOTE THAT OUR CHARMING AND BRILLIANT HOKAGE LEFT FOR US ON _HER_ DESK! WE MUST COMPLETE THIS MISSION IN A TIMELY FASHION SO AS NOT TO DISAPPOINT THE _HOKAGE_!"

Kakashi calmly twisted his pinky around inside his ear canal, making sure it was still functioning before pulling out the supposed "mission" and squinting at it once more. "I've never been assigned a mission straight from the Hokage through a _note_ left on her desk…"

Gai laughed a little too loudly. "WELL, YOU KNOW OUR NEW HOKAGE! ALWAYS OUT DRINKING AND GAMBLING AND ENJOYING THE SPRINGTIME OF HER YOUTH, LIKE A WISE AND YOUTHFUL LEADER SHOULD TO SET AN EXAMPLE TO HER OTHER – "

"Youthful and blah blah blah followers… yes, Gai, I get it." Kakashi sighed. This mission was ridiculous. Circle around the borders of Hidden Leaf and make sure the perimeter was secure? Wasn't that the job of the security guards placed at each entrance? And Gai was acting awfully strange about the whole ordeal. Kakashi waved the torn piece of paper that was the very informal mission in Gai's general direction, displaying suspicion with his one exposed eye. "This actually looks a lot like _your_ handwriting…" he drawled.

Gai snatched the piece of paper away and pretended to study it quizzically. "Oh… no… THIS IS OBVIOUSLY THE FAIR AND BEAUTIFUL HANDWRITING OF OUR ONE AND ONLY FAIR AND BEAUTIFUL HOKAGE!"

"Really? Because, as I was looking at it, it just seemed to _sparkle_ like your handwriting does."

Gai's eyes grew wide and he stared intently at the piece of paper in front of him. "You think my handwriting _sparkles_?" Kakashi glared daggers at him and Gai quickly caught it out of the corner of his shining eyes and straightened up immediately. "I mean, if we had an example of my handwriting here with us, I would LOVE to see what you're talking about… but alas, we do not."

"Great idea, Gai!" Kakashi praised, eye curving happily – much too happily and mischievously. "Why don't you take out a scroll and write something down so we can compare the two pieces of writing?"

"Kakashi… I really don't think that is necessary! After all, I told you this is the handwriting of – "

"The Hokage – yes, I heard you quite well the first time."

"SURELY, YOU DO NOT BELIEVE THAT I WOULD _LIE_ TO YOU, MY – "

"No, Gai!" Kakashi smiled brightly again. "Of course not. I was simply suggesting that we see right here and now how much _your_ handwriting _sparkles_ compared to somebody else's. After all… you seemed so very interested in it."

"OUR MISSION – "

"Is going along quite smoothly – we have time."

"BUT KAKASHI – "

"_Take out a piece of paper_." Kakashi's clipped tone and stone-cold gaze left no room for argument, and Gai reluctantly pulled a spare scroll from his pocket,

"I have nothing – "

A pen magically materialized in front of his nose, Kakashi's palm holding it deadly steady. Gai attempted a bright smile at the gesture, but it wasn't as shiny and dazzling as it normally would have been. "Why don't you just copy our… mission, so we can compare without bias of what's written on each?" Kakashi held out the mission paper and Gai slowly reached for it. Just as his hand closed on it and Kakashi let go, an idea sprang to Gai's mind and, in a split second, he loosened his grip so the paper escaped his hand.

"OH NO! THE WIND CAUGHT IT!" he cried dramatically, looking horror-struck.

Kakashi glanced down at his open toes that were now being covered with the limp piece of paper, then slowly looked back up at Gai who had not yet removed the comic expression of terror from his face. "Gai… there's no wind around here…"

Gai blinked and also gazed down at the paper, sitting innocently with no signs of being blown away any time soon. He met Kakashi's even stare, blinked again, then threw his arms out in exaggerated jubilation. "WELL, THANK THE GODS FOR THAT!"

He reached down to retrieve the paper, and in the quick moment that he was extending his arm, his eyes caught sight of a tiny batch of mud not far from Kakashi's foot. He grabbed the paper, then pitched himself forward, feigning unbalance. With a loud, dramatic cry of anguish, he fell to the side, successfully squishing the paper into the mud with his body weight.

Kakashi rolled his eyes.

"OH NO! THE HANDWRITING IS RUINED! WE SHALL NEVER BE ABLE TO ACCOMPLISH A PROPER COMPARISON NOW!"

"We could always just wipe – "

"Nope! Wouldn't have the same effect! We shall never know now!" And with those final clipped words, Gai rolled the mud-soaked paper into a ball and squished it into his vest pocket.

Kakashi stared him down. "For a taijutsu master, you are unusually clumsy today."

"IT MUST BE THE HEAT! WANDERING AROUND OUT HERE ALL DAY – "

"GAI!" The green-clad jounin paused. "_Why_ are we out here?"

The copy-nin wasn't joking now, and Gai knew it was time to 'fess up – well, as much as he could. "What are your intentions with Iruka?"

Kakashi blinked. Iruka? Why the hell was Gai asking about Iruka? He couldn't – no, he couldn't possibly be contemplating – the other jounin and Iruka? No… no… Genma was already problem enough. The reason Gai was at Iruka's window… no, it just wasn't possible! "Why do you ask?"

"I'm… concerned…"

Kakashi's anger almost completely dissipated. "About what?"

"Kakashi… do you plan on pursuing Iruka-sensei?"

Gai looked so serious at this point that Kakashi was almost afraid of giving the wrong answer. "Well, to be perfectly honest with you Gai… yes, I plan to… _pursue_ him."

"I just… want you to be careful…"

Kakashi's eye twitched a little before he started chuckling. "Gai, what is this all about? Iruka's not like a sexual deviant or anything that'll take advantage of me. You should be telling _him_ to be careful of _me_."

"Why Iruka?" Gai asked, ignoring the copy ninja's comment. "Why do you like him so much?"

Kakashi sighed through his nose and ran a hand through his unruly silver hair. "Gai…"

"Please, my friend… be honest with me."

Kakashi's eye widened almost laughably. He had heard Gai call him possibly hundreds of things from 'Eternal Rival' to 'Hip and Cool Rival' to 'The Eternally Hip and Cool Kakashi-sensei' but never had Gai actually come right out and called him a friend. "Wow… you _are_ being serious."

Gai nodded, trying to fight the non-serious urge to wipe the disgusting mud off his beautiful, shiny spandex.

"Alright… have a seat." Kakashi plopped down on a nearby log, and motioned for Gai to sit next to him.

* * *

Iruka sat on his bed, stock-still, blank eyes staring out the window. Had he been any more out of touch with his surroundings, a line of drool probably would have been seeping out of the corner of his mouth. But, despite his outward appearance of looking like a special-needs zombie, the chuunin was actually having some pretty serious thoughts running through his overcrowded mind that morning.

He almost wished that it wasn't the weekend so that classes could distract him at least a little bit… even though yesterday had been the teacher's day from hell inside his classroom, right now, he just wanted something to do besides his horrid mission from that horrid woman who horridly called herself the Hokage.

'_I shouldn't be thinking such things about our Hokage… she's not mean – well… she's not __**evil **__at least – actually… ah, screw it… she'll never know what I'm thinking – unless she has some jutsu that can read my mind! Wouldn't put it past her… evil little – I mean, beautiful, powerful… this is ridiculous…'_

Iruka sighed, and his eyes drooped even more. _'Why was Kakashi here last night? Why was his mere presence getting me so riled up? I wonder what important mission he had to be called away to in the middle of the night like that… I hope he's okay – what am I thinking? He'll be fine! He's Kakashi – the infamous copy-nin! But that doesn't make him invincible… Stop it, Iruka! He'll be just fine – and even if he isn't, it's not any of your concern. It's not like you guys are friends or anything, and shinobi die every day in service of their village.'_

'_Admittedly, it would be a great loss to the village to lose someone of Kakashi's rank, but it wouldn't be the end of the world. There are other skilled jounin to take on his missions. AH! I'm horrible! I shouldn't think of a person that way! Even if it __**is**__ Kakashi. He's not just a throw-away tool that nobody will care about when he's gone. He's a __**human being**__. Though he probably doesn't get treated that way very often… I wonder if there even __**would**__ be many people that would care about him when he's gone… and not just missing him for his skills but missing him as a person…'_

'_Gods, I'm just like all those other people that started thinking about him as nothing but a killing-machine for the village to use and do away with once he's served his purpose. But I don't treat him that way, do I? No… just last night, I told him to be careful when he had to leave. That shows some sort of compassion, doesn't it? He kinda looked surprised. I wonder if anyone has wished him well like that before he left for a mission.'_

'_Kinda sad when you really think about it. Maybe I've been too harsh on him lately. I mean… he __**has**__ tried talking to me recently – I thought he was just being annoying because he likes to make me mad… what if he was really just trying to be my friend? I mean, he was going about it kind of strangely, but he __**is**__ a strange guy…'_

'_No… he couldn't have been. You don't try to make friends with someone and then try to screw them at a moment's notice! Maybe __**that's**__ what he's been doing! He was just trying to get into my good graces to get into my pants… probably thought I'd be easy prey since I'm just a lowly chuunin schoolteacher! Jerk!'_

'_But it's not like he's jumped me every opportunity he got… even last night – he seemed almost… apologetic and shy… but then, was he threatening me? Was it all just a mind game? Is this __**all**__ just a mind game? Is Kakashi co-conspiring with the Hokage to torture me to insanity? Why am I letting this take over my thoughts? Why can't I stop thinking about him? WHY DO I CARE IF HE'S CAREFUL ON HIS MISSION OR NOT?'_

With a disgruntled cry, Iruka finally emerged from his half-awake coma, and flopped back down on his bed.

* * *

If Naruto was listening at all, he gave absolutely no indication. In fact, it was the first time Sasuke had ever witnessed the boy being completely still and not fidgeting around or making weird whiny noises. It was almost as if Naruto was acting like a _real_ ninja…

Until he thought Sasuke's back was turned and stuck his tongue out at him.

The last Uchiha spun and glared daggers at his orange-clad companion who had quickly gone back to being completely still and seemingly innocent. "I saw that…" he growled.

Naruto's eyebrows merely peaked in a disturbing imitation of Sasuke's own half-amused, half-quizzical, not-actually-giving-anything-away look. The other boy's eyes twitched. Since when was Naruto able to pull off his unofficially patented looks?

"Listen, moron… you may think you're being cute… but let me make one thing perfectly clear…"

Naruto's mouth quirked to the side to match the eyebrows.

"If you _ever_ kiss me again, I _will_ make sure that my kunai coming towards your face is the last thing you ever see!"

* * *

Iruka was feeling slightly better out in the fresh, open air. The bright, sunny day with the calming blue skies nearly made him forget exactly why he was supposed to be upset in the first place. _Nearly_…

He shouldn't have to worry about running into Kakashi since he should still be out on his important mission, or Genma who had mission desk duties this afternoon. Raidou wouldn't be too much of an embarrassment to cross paths with, and the evil '_Ahem, I mean __**beautiful**__' _Hokage would either be in her office "doing work", or skulking somewhere with a hangover, trying to avoid Shizune. Whichever way she went today, at least she would be too preoccupied to bug Iruka about his mission.

The chuunin took a deep breath and tried to exhale all his tension. Maybe he should simply enjoy his day off without worrying about that mission at all. Tsunade had said there was no time limit, and he had gotten more than a head-start on it yesterday.

That had to be it. This mission wasn't meant to be completed quickly. Squeezing too much in at once was leading to severe problems. The whole point of this was to be stealthy and not let anyone catch on to what he was doing. Iruka nodded determinedly to himself. Yes, he was definitely giving himself the day off from dealing with it – maybe even a week or two – let things calm down a bit before he made his next move.

Just as that resolute thought crossed his mind, Iruka was almost sent crashing to the ground by a white blur.

Correction: He _was_ sent crashing to the ground by said blur. Right outside the bookshop. He grumbled something unintelligible, but probably not meant for younger ears, under his breath and the blur skidded to a halt, glancing back at him.

"Oh, sorry… you alright there?"

A hand appeared in front of his face and Iruka begrudgingly took hold of it, trying to control his newly restored temper. "Yes, I'm fine. Thank you – ah!" As the brunette was hoisted to his feet by the strong hand, his chocolate eyes locked in awe on the sannin who was standing in very close proximity by this point. "Master Jiraiya…" he murmured without thinking.

Truth be told, although Iruka had processed the fact that Jiraiya was on his mission list, he had been so preoccupied with thoughts of Kakashi, that it hadn't really clicked _who_ exactly Jiraiya was. Actually, Iruka had never even _met_ Jiraiya – he knew who he was and what he looked like, certainly. But someone of his rank had never had the honor of coming face-to-face with him until that moment.

He…

Had very poofy hair…

Iruka blinked and shook himself back to reality as he realized that Jiraiya had asked his name. "Uh… Iruka… _sensei_," he quickly added out of habit.

Jiraiya smirked. "Well, Iruka-_sensei_. You here for the signing?"

"Huh?" The chuunin was still in a bit of daze and the words didn't make any sense to him.

But the sannin continued as though he were having a conversation with himself. "You're a little bit early. I have to run back and get my lucky pen."

Iruka nodded dumbly, still trying to figure the situation out.

"But hey! You don't even have a book yet! Here – allow me – as an apology." The larger man pulled something out of his pocket and shoved it into Iruka's hands. "There you go – don't go away now – I'll be back soon!" And the white blur took off again.

The brunette glanced down at his full hands and let the object there sink into his slow brain. He was holding a book… a little orange book… a little orange book that had been given to him by Jiraiya…

…

"WH-WHAT!" The blush spread rapidly across the chuunin's face. "Ichaicha Nights?" He lowered his voice to a harsh whisper so as not to attract attention to his current predicament. His head swept back and forth swiftly, trying to figure out what exactly to do next. His eyes fell on the sign just outside the bookstore; he hadn't really been paying much attention before: **NEW Special Edition Ichaicha Nights Release – Book Signing By The Author TODAY ONLY**. Iruka could still feel the blush taking over his entire face as he clutched the book to his chest, hoping to hide it from passing eyes.

Why would Jiraiya give him something like _that_? Didn't _everyone_ in the village know how prim and proper he was, and that he _never_ read such books (unlike other silver-haired jounin he could mention)? This was a mistake. He should just give Jiraiya the book back, apologize for the misunderstanding, and be on his way.

Iruka sighed and leaned back against the bookstore window, waiting for the sannin to return. His little rest, however, was jolted when two boisterous jounin, who he had seen a few times in the missions room, bounced past him into the store, waving their own editions of Ichaicha Nights excitedly.

Iruka glared after them disapprovingly. Kakashi may read his books in public, but at least he didn't go waving them around, yapping about them for all the world to hear what a pervert he was. _'And we're __**done**__ thinking about Kakashi!'_ the chuunin scolded himself mentally. _'The only reason I got mixed up with him in the first place was because of that stupid, secret mission.' _The mission!

Iruka glanced down at the little orange book and to the sign advertising the perfect opportunity to him. His face became the image of exhausted frustration. This wasn't fair! He was supposed to be taking a well-deserved break from the Terrible Mission From Hell! But… when was he ever going to be within reasonable distance of the legendary Jiraiya again? And with such a perfect excuse?

"Life isn't fair… it just isn't fair…" Iruka mumbled to the ground, almost sounding like he was trying not to cry. But he straightened up momentarily and got ready to put on the show of his life.

* * *

"Can we go back _now_?" Kakashi was trying not to whine; truly he was. He was an elite jounin after all, and elite jounin did not do such unsightly things as whine. But he was tired, and hot, and dammit all, he was sick of having girly (his companion liked to call them manly, but he knew better) conversations with Gai out in the middle of the forest. Especially since he had no real reason to be there.

"But Kakashi - !"

"Besides, aren't we gonna kind of get in trouble for leaving on a mission that… doesn't exist?"

"Whatever do you - ?"

"Gai, cut the crap. I know you wrote that mission. Let's be big boys now and stop playing pretend."

Gai turned away, looking as abashed as was possible for someone with his demeanor. "We won't get in trouble – we're still technically inside the borders and the ANBU can track us down if we're really needed for a real mission. Kakashi..."

The copy nin arched his one visible eyebrow.

"Thank you for sharing such emotional and youthful thoughts with me, my friend!" The manly tears began flowing.

"Yeah, enough with the 'friend' stuff, Gai."

Gai snapped out of his manly moment and tried to look solemn. "As you wish. But the feelings remain full-force."

Kakashi sighed and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Fine… but you didn't answer my first question."

Gai blinked.

"Can we _go_ now!?"

* * *

Iruka shifted his weight to one hip, letting it jut out in an attempt to look slightly more appealing as he waited in line. Unfortunately, he ended up looking just a little too appealing to the other patrons waiting in line next to him, as many shifted their leering gazes in his direction – all but Jiraiya who was too busy soaking up all the attention he could get from his current fan. Iruka quickly stood up straight and stared at the ground, trying to ignore the appreciative glances; many from women, but a lot from men as well. _'I hate being so damn feminine! Why didn't I wear my uniform today? It makes me look more masculine.'_

As he slowly made his way up the line, Iruka started to fidget and grow nervous. The plan was in his mind, but it was starting to hit him that he would be executing it in front of quite a few other people. It wouldn't be like yesterday in the woods with Kakashi… when they were all alone and Iruka was free to act as he wanted – _'Bad Iruka! Stop it!'_

At any rate, his turn was coming up quick – so it was now or never.

The schoolteacher threw back his ponytail, stood up in a confident matter and gave his most flirtatious smile to the sannin who had just waved off the person in front of Iruka. The white-haired man gave a charming smile when he saw the other shinobi. "Hey-hey! If it isn't Rukio!"

"Iruka." The chuunin's face fell.

"Right! Right! Iruka-_sensei_!" He gave out a bellowing laugh. "Well, how's that book treatin' ya?"

"Uh…" Iruka twirled the unopened book in his hands, not quite sure how to respond to that sort of question. This wasn't really going the way he had pictured it. _'That's cuz you're not __**doing**__ anything, dummy! Speak up! Flirt, damn you! Flirt!'_ "Oh, well, you know…" He trailed out and hung his head a bit, trying to look sexily contemplative. Jiraiya held out his hand for the book, and Iruka handed it over. "I've always been a big fan of yours… and I was so excited when Ichaicha Nights came out. Ichaicha… uh…" _'Blast it! What's the name of that stupid book Kakashi always has up to his face?' _"Paradise! Ahem…" Jiraiya blinked but put his head back down from where it had snapped up to look at the outbursting chuunin. "Yeah… Ichaicha Paradise has always been my favorite."

"Hmm…" Jiraiya nodded and smiled but didn't return his gaze to the other man.

The chuunin's features drooped. "Yeah… uh… you know… my most _favorite _part that you've ever written – " Iruka perched his hip on the table right in front of the sannin. "- is… uh… chapter 4 of Ichaicha Paradise."

Jiraiya glanced up thoughtfully, but didn't seem to notice Iruka's provocative position. "I'm sorry – it's been so long since I wrote that one, I'm not 100 percent positive which part you're talking about."

Iruka bit his lip and floundered for a second. He had never read the stupid books! "You know what! It doesn't really matter!" He smiled brightly and drummed his hands on the table playfully. "The point is… I was kinda hoping that maybe you could… you know, give me a more in-depth look at your writing process… maybe what… gets you going…"

He cringed inwardly as a few people behind him quirked their eyebrows when they overheard his suggestive comment. But it was too late to take it back now, so he waited for Jiraiya's response with short breath.

The older man blinked at Iruka a second, then cocked his head to the side. "You want to come with me to the hotsprings?"

Iruka's face completely fell and he slid off the table-top in shock. "Wha – uh… um…"

Jiraiya chuckled and handed the book back. "Well, alright, kid! Just don't get in my way, ok? Research time is quiet time… for numerous reasons. See ya later." He waved up the next person. And Iruka stumbled away from the table, clutching his book awkwardly, wondering what the hell had just happened.

* * *

"Naruto… Shut. Up."

The blonde shinobi in question stifled a giggle.

Sakura shot them both inquisitive glances but didn't say anything for fear of turning Sasuke's wrath against her. The Uchiha's eyebrow twitched. Naruto continued shaking with silent laughter.

Sasuke growled.

"So where's Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura piped up, hoping that _that_ at least was a safe topic at the present moment.

Naruto stopped his inane laughing for a second to look pissed off at the mention of the sensei who had so rudely knocked him out the night before. "Late! As usual!"

"So… apparently that whole 'switching-bodies' thing… not true, huh?" She tried to sound nonchalant so as not to set either of the boys off, but it seemed to be getting difficult to say anything around those two – they were in such weird moods that afternoon.

Naruto huffed and spun away. "Something weird _is_ going on with those two!"

"Would you just leave it alone!" Sasuke snapped, glaring down his shorter companion.

Naruto smirked. "You're just mad cuz – "

"Sakura, would you mind going to try to find Kakashi-sensei?" Sasuke interrupted a little more loudly than necessary. "He _is_ later than normal – we should make sure nothing's happened to him. You're more connected around the village – go check it out."

Sakura looked back and forth between her two teammates, slightly confused, but she nodded the affirmative and took off.

Naruto didn't even bother to watch her leave. He was too busy still smirking widely at Sasuke.

Sasuke waited until the kunoichi was well out of ear shot before hissing to the blonde. "You are _sick_!"

"Me!" the other boy exclaimed innocently. "_You're _the one who said it!" Sasuke seethed, but Naruto continued. "_'My kunai right at your face'_." He burst out laughing again. "You are so dirty!"

* * *

Iruka brushed himself off, top to bottom. Something had gone wrong – terribly wrong. There was no way that a guy who was so into porn that he wrote his own was _completely_ straight. Unless he wrote all lesbian eroticism, he had to have _some_ sort of interest in male anatomy.

And Iruka could damn well pull this off if he had to.

And Kakashi happily strolled back into the village of Hidden Leaf, ready to get back to more important matters.

* * *

Yeah, so there should be lots to say here after such a long break between chapters… sorry about that. But I'm back in the writing groove – promise! More Jiraiya and KakaIru next chapter – fun! Longer author notes will come next chapter – I just really want to get this up NOW.

As always, if you enjoyed the story, please review!

**DixieGoddess**


	10. Chapter 10

Ok, yes, I realize you all must hate me for leaving this sit for so long... um... the only thing I can say is... at least, I am continuing it? Heh... ok, I will go sit in the corner now, and let you enjoy the longest chapter thus far.

* * *

Iruka let his hair down.

Then pulled it back up.

Then let it back down.

Then sighed and pulled it back up.

Then huffed aggravatedly and yanked it back down.

He glared at his reflection. "I just don't know – what do you think?" His reflection just glared back at him. "You're all kinds of helpful," he muttered. "Why the hell am I talking to my reflection?" The chuunin pulled his hair back into its traditional ponytail once again and stalked out of the bathroom.

He glanced at the clock. It had been about an hour and a half since his run-in with Jiraiya. Surely, the sannin was almost finished with his book signing. How many people could possibly come to get a perverted book signed?

Iruka sighed. He hadn't wanted to skulk around the bookstore waiting for Jiraiya to be finished. That was more stalkerish than flattering, in his opinion. But if he didn't get there at the precise moment the older man was leaving, he didn't know how he'd "happen upon" him again without being obvious. So, toeing his sandals back on, and grabbing his official signed copy of Ichaicha Nights back up from the kitchen table where he'd thrown it, the teacher strode out the door, portraying confidence he didn't actually feel at the moment.

* * *

Kaksahi groaned. He had meant to do it internally, but it had snuck out loudly anyway. Sakura looked slightly taken aback and began to stutter. "Well, I… I… we just…" Kakashi fought back a headache as he was overtaken by guilt. He hadn't meant to groan in Sakura's face when she was obviously so excited to have found him. He had just conveniently forgotten about his team for the day and had been on his way to finishing his conversation with Iruka. Then the pink-haired girl had popped up and rudely brought him back to the reality of his position as an instructor. Damn those three and their teamwork – being the first to actually pass his stupid test. He had been impressed briefly, but right now he wished that they had failed like all the rest and he had sent them on their way, not to be bothered by their loud mouths again. Then again… he gazed at Sakura's hurt face a moment longer. If it weren't for them, he never would've really interacted with Iruka…

He reached out and ruffled the girl's hair slightly in apology. "I'm sorry, Sakura. I didn't mean that. It's just been… a long day… and night."

Sakura blinked but smiled, seeming to accept the apology. "Ok, sorry about your trouble, Kakashi-sensei. We were just worried about you – you're a lot later than usual."

Kakashi ran his fingers through his hair. "Right, right, sorry, Sakura. I got called away on an impromptu mission."

Sakura looked slightly concerned. "Oh… so is practice off for today? Do you need to go home and rest?"

As much as it may have been the perfect excuse to get out of training his team, looking into those big shining eyes full of concern, Kakashi just couldn't dismiss his student with a flick of his hand, like he would have some other annoying kid off the street. "No, Sakura. I'm fine. Let's go catch up to the others, shall we?" He smiled beneath his mask and the young girl smiled back.

Kakashi felt a pang in his chest as he followed her back to the training grounds, realizing that his ability to care about other people hadn't stopped at Iruka.

* * *

Iruka spotted the back of Jiraiya's bushy white head turning away from the bookstore just as the building came into sight. He launched into a sprint, hopping up next to the sannin before he got very far. "Master Jiraiya!"

Jiraiya jumped slightly at the unexpected exuberance that had bounded up right next to him. He wasn't used to such… _friendly_ people… at least, not friendly in this sense. "Ah… hello…"

"Master Jiraiya, you remember me, don't you?" Iruka skipped backwards, smiling brightly – a little too brightly for both men's comfort.

Jiraiya blinked.

"Iruka-sensei." He pulled out his book for emphasis. His face was stretched far too wide, and it was starting to hurt.

Jiraiya nodded in vague comprehending. "Right, right, sure. Iruka-_sensei_. That's right."

Iruka grit his teeth as Jiraiya proceeded to look off into the distance, apparently deciding that Iruka wasn't anything important at the moment. The brunette jumped in front of him, causing a collision. "Oops, oops," he giggled slightly, mentally smacking his forehead at his own corniness. "Say, Master Jiraiya, do you think I could take you up on your earlier offer?"

Jiraiya blinked.

Iruka felt something in his temper snap as it became apparent that he was not very memorable to the older man. "Remember?" he ground out, his smile (which was actually more of a sneer now) twitching dangerously. "You were going to show me what _gets you going_ in your writing process."

"Ah, right." Jiraiya pat Iruka on the shoulder and stepped around him. "Sorry, kiddo, some other time. I've already made plans for drinks with some of my _fans_." He laughed pervertedly and started to stride away.

Determined not to give up, especially since he had already humiliated himself a great deal in front of the sannin, Iruka jogged after him. "Drinks? Bu- but it's only three o'clock in the afternoon."

"Well, I plan to be occupied with other things later in the evening." He gave a loud laugh, more perverted than the last one, and Iruka's eye twitched convulsively.

He swallowed, trying to maintain his composure. "But Master Jiraiya – "

"Look, _sensei_." Jiraiya stopped, laying a hand on Iruka's shoulder. "I understand idol worship, but you gotta give me a break here. I have plans tonight, and I just can't break them."

"But Master Jiraiya," Iruka reached up and grasped the hand on his shoulder, trying to rub it sensuously. "I was really really looking forward to our time together." He tried to muster up a sexy pout, but he didn't think he had ever truly perfected that technique.

Jiraiya seemed oblivious to his coming-on tactics and simply pulled his hand away with a small shiver of discomfort. "Er… well, if it's really all that important to ya… I suppose you could come with us to drinks. I'm sure the ladies wouldn't mind." He smiled widely.

Iruka's demeanor faltered. "Uh… ladies…?"

"Yeah, sure, two for me – one for you!" Jiraiya slapped him on the arm, a little harder than necessary in Iruka's opinion, and resumed walking. Iruka clutched at his throbbing upper arm and grimaced after the old pervert.

'_What have I gotten myself into?'_

* * *

"Ahem, so… Sakura?"

Sakura peered back at her sensei, curiously. Kakashi almost sounded nervous, which was not something she was used to seeing or hearing from the only man she knew who usually hid his true emotions better than Sasuke. "What is it, Kakashi-sensei?"

Kakashi scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "Ah… well, I was just wondering about something…"

"Yeeeah…? Go on," Sakura urged, all her nosey teenage girl senses fully alert at this point.

"Ah, well, I was just wondering, how does one go about making someone one's boyfriend?"

Sakura stopped dead in her tracks. Kakashi walked a few steps more before realizing that they had halted, and he slowly came to a stop as well, gazing at Sakura as though he were worried about something. "Boyfriend?" Sakura repeated blinking up at her teacher.

Kakashi laughed nervously, fully regretting his somewhat desperate decision to ask his thirteen-year old, female student for advice. "Never mind. It's not important. Forget I asked." He shoved his hands in his pockets and continued on to the training grounds, hoping Sakura would take the hint and follow silently.

After a few moments of gazing at her sensei's back, Sakura _did_ follow – but she was anything but silent about it. "Wait, wait, wait! Hang on just a minute, Kakashi-sensei! Do you have a _crush_ on someone?" Her wide eyes were locked on his face.

Kakashi chuckled nervously. "Never mind, Sakura. Like I said, it's really not important."

"You have a crush on a guy?" she continued as though Kakashi had actually continued his part of the conversation.

"Sakura, really – "

"Does he like you back?"

"Er… well, I think so… but he's acting very skittish…" Kakashi finally muttered. Then, once again realizing that he really didn't want to be having this conversation, he shook his head and waved his hand in the air. "But it's not important – let's drop it."

"Who is it?"

"Now, let's just forget – "

"Is it Iruka-sensei?" she gasped, several things clicking in her mind at once.

It was Kakashi's turn to stop suddenly as he blinked at her, startled. "How…?" He couldn't even finish his sentence.

Sakura smiled widely. "Wow! I don't believe it! That's so romantic, Kakashi-sensei!"

Kakashi rubbed the back of his head again. _'Heh… yeah – romantic. Everything's been real __**romantic**__ so far,' _he griped to himself sarcastically. "Well, thank you Sakura, but let's just keep this between us for now, ok?"

Sakura's face fell. "Why? Is something wrong?" She gasped, covering her mouth. "Oh no! Did he turn you down?"

Kakashi's eye twitched slightly. He shouldn't have brought the subject up at all. He had absolutely no desire to discuss his relationship blunders with one of his students. He cleared his throat. "Well, he hasn't exactly _rejected_ me. I haven't really _asked_ him anything yet… not officially."

"Oh…" Sakura's hand fell to her chin, contemplating. "Oh, are you worried because you two haven't been getting along lately?"

"Why do you know so much?" Kakashi squinted at her.

Sakura just laughed and waved her hand in dismissal. "Oh, that's not important. What _is_ important is making sure you win over Iruka-sensei!" She slammed a fist into an open palm in determination.

Kakashi held up his hands, smiling exasperatedly. "Sakura, I appreciate your… _enthusiasm_… but this is all really unnecessary. I'm sure I can handle it myself."

"Oh, but Kakashi-sensei, I know all about attracting boys! Please, I want to help!" Sakura struck a proud pose, and Kakashi didn't have him it in him to be so rude as to point out that he had watched her fail fantastically at trying to attract Sasuke over and over again. He just sighed and tried to keep away the impending headache that had surfaced again. "Now, tell me everything about this situation."

Kakashi rubbed his exposed eye, tiredly. "Look, let's just say that I feel like I've been scaring him – coming on too strong. How do I make sure I don't threaten him?"

Sakura glared lightly at her teacher. "Kakashi-sensei, you have to realize that Iruka-sensei isn't the pervert you are," she lectured disapprovingly, and Kakashi had to hide his smirk from the irony of her statement.

* * *

Iruka tried not to cough too obviously, but the smoke was really starting to irritate his senses. He was currently sandwiched between a blonde and a redhead (both obviously fake) and the redhead was consistently blowing smoke right up his nose every ten seconds. The busty blonde on his right side gave a loud bark at something Jiraiya had said and almost head-butted him as she threw her head back in laughter. He had to shift away quickly to avoid a large bruise, but his shifting left him practically in the redhead's lap. She smirked at him in what he supposed she thought was a flirtatious manner and once again blew smoke into his face, stinging his eyes.

This was not going the way it was supposed to. Not at all. He was supposed to be here to seduce Jiraiya, but he couldn't even see the other man past the blonde's ample breasts. Instead, he was squashed up against the redhead, who Jiraiya had been more than happy to pawn off on him. The other two ladies, currently swooning over Jiraiya, the blonde and a brunette, were both knockouts, but Iruka had been thrown to the "ugly friend" – like bait to the slobbery dog whose saliva you don't want all over you. She was try to grab at Iruka every chance she got, the chuunin's ninja reflexes being the only reason he didn't have cigarette burns all over his clothes.

"So what did you say your name was, handsome?" she crooned, ending her statement with a puff that had Iruka holding his breath so as to not hack right in her face.

"Iruka," he muttered, trying to scrunch away from her again, but Jiraiya seemed to be on a roll with the jokes and he had to dodge the blonde tresses once more.

"Irrrrrrrrru-_ka_," she attempted to roll off her tongue, but she didn't really seem to have a knack for rolling her Rs so it came out more like she was trying to wheeze a piece of food off the back of her tongue. "Sounds _exotic_."

"Mm… yeah…" Iruka coughed slightly.

"I'm Kiramaya," the redhead breathed, and made a grab for his inner thigh, her lit cigarette leaving a small mark right in the juncture between thigh and crotch before Iruka yelped and pushed her hand away.

"Hey, hey! _Please_ watch where you're putting that thing!"

The redhead barely seemed to acknowledge his annoyance and merely tossed her bangs out of her face, trying to look seductive. After a few awkward moments of staring him down, she cracked a wicked smile. "You look like a virgin," she giggled.

Iruka's eye spasmed. How the hell do you respond to a statement like that? He didn't know, so he simply didn't answer.

The redhead, taking his silence as a confirmation of her declaration, giggled again, which quickly turned into a cough, and snuffed out her almost dead cigarette. "You wanna change that?"

"Ok, look… uh…"

"Kiramaya."

"Yeah – Kiramaya, listen…" Iruka took a deep breath and almost stopped what he was about to say, but one look at the redhead's crooked smile and he decided he didn't really care what she thought of him – he would, by the grace of all the gods, never see this woman again, and he desperately had a mission to complete. If he went home tonight without kissing Jiraiya, he didn't know if he'd have the strength or will to start up his plan again on a fresh day. "You seem very… nice…" He grimaced slightly. "But, I gotta be honest with you – I'm here for _Jiraiya_."

Kiramaya blinked. "Oooooooh, you're one of _those_. No wonder you don't know how to act around women."

Several veins throbbed in the chuunin's forehead. _'I know perfectly well how to act around women.'_ But he bit back the nasty retort on his tongue, determining that he needed this particular woman's help at the moment. "Please, can you help me out?"

Kiramaya laughed shortly. "Honey, as much as I'd like to have my part in a little man-on-man action, you do realize you're going after the straightest man in this entire village?"

"Oh, come on," Iruka hissed, pleadingly. "The man writes porn – porn that involves men and their anatomy – he has to have some sort of interest in _it_."

The bushy head of red shook side to side in pity. She gazed at Iruka as though he were a slow child wondering why he wasn't allowed to use the scissors like all the other children. "I just think you'd be better off going after some other cute guy, hon." She patted his cheek soothingly.

Iruka tried to turn her sympathy against her, giving her his best puppy eyes. "Please, Kiramaya – you don't know how much this means to me," he whimpered.

Kiramaya sighed and tweaked his nose. Iruka grit his teeth to stop himself from swatting the offending fingers away. "Alright, sweetie – I can't squash a virgin's dreams like that."

As much as he wanted to scream in her face that he was far from a virgin, the schoolteacher decided to reign in his temper and let her think what she wanted as long as she helped him.

She stood clumsily, seeming as though she wasn't used to the heels she was trying to balance in, and lit another cigarette, tapping her blonde, busty friend on the shoulder. Blondie seemed annoyed at being disturbed, but through persistent pointed looks and tugging at her sleeves, Iruka's redhead lured her and the brunette to the bathroom to "powder their noses."

Iruka smiled sheepishly at Jiraiya as the three women sauntered away. Jiraiya raised his glass to Iruka. "Having fun, kid? How's… uh… the redhead treatin' ya?"

"Oh, uh, great," Iruka stammered, then leaned a bit closer on impulse. "I'm just disappointed that I haven't had any time to speak to you." He tried fluttering his eyelashes in imitation of Jiraiya's female companions, but the sannin didn't seem to notice.

"Ah, well, you know how the ladies get. Always want my attention!" He laughed loudly at his own ego while Iruka resisted the urge to beat his head against the table. The redhead seemed to be right – the straightest of the straight in all of Hidden Leaf… and Iruka was supposed to be kissing him.

The women returned to the table, trying to hide their perverted smiles as they glanced not-so-subtly at him. Blondie apologized for having to leave early, and the three skipped out of the restaurant with a perverted "Have fun _boys_" thrown over their shoulders.

Jiraiya's shoulders slumped. "Well, that was strange."

Iruka laughed lightly. "Well, I guess they had something important come up. Can't really be helped."

Jiraiya sighed. "Yeah, yeah, I guess… Well, see ya, sensei!" The white-haired man jumped up and strode out the doors.

Iruka stared uncomprehendingly at the spot Jiraiya had just vacated. "Ah… er…"

"Your bill, sir," a chipper waitress sang in his ear.

Iruka almost pulled his hair out again.

* * *

"Uh, Sakura. Don't you think we ought to be getting back to the boys? Won't they be worried?" Kakashi really didn't want to interrupt Sakura (partly because she seemed so excited and partly because he feared his life might be in jeopardy if he didn't let her finish), but he didn't know how much more of this he could listen to. The girl was on a roll – giving him a laundry list of things he must do to win over Iruka-sensei. Kakashi knew her heart was in the right place but he highly doubted he would ever do half the things she was telling him to do.

"Oh, don't worry about them," she snapped, obviously upset at having to pause in her speech. "They've been occupying themselves with acting weird all day. They probably don't even notice what time it is."

And indeed, they didn't.

* * *

Iruka didn't know how he had lost Jiraiya so quickly, but the other man was nowhere in sight when the chuunin had finished hastily paying the bill and sped out into the streets. "Goddammit!" He stomped the ground petulantly. Who knew how he was supposed to find the legendary Jiraiya again. It wasn't like he just ran into him every day. "Wait a minute." A thought struck him. _'He said something earlier about the hot springs!'_ Figuring he had nothing to lose, he took off in the direction of the village hot springs.

* * *

Kakashi had long since stopped listening to Sakura's babbling. Bless her heart, she had good intentions, but this was _not_ what Kakashi had wanted when he decided to ask her advice. He was hoping for just a few pointers on making sure that he didn't frighten Iruka away, maybe some words of encouragement, but that was it. If he wanted a how-to manual, he would've gone to the bookstore and gotten one to read rather than using Sakura as the live audio version.

"Oh, and of course you're gonna ask him to the social, right? So we have to talk all about what your plans are going to be for that night."

Kakashi's ears perked up. "What?" he asked dumbly.

Sakura sighed, annoyed. "The social?" she demanded as if Kakashi would be stupid to not know what she was talking about. Unfortunately, he didn't know and just cocked his head to the side confused. "The shinobi social, Kakashi-sensei. How can you not have heard about it?" Kakashi racked his brain for any sort of recollection about some sort of shinobi social but he only came up with a blank. He shrugged, grinning sheepishly. "There's a shinobi social – kind of like a dance – next week. Supposedly they're having it to make sure the shinobi of the village have something fun and _social_ to do to keep them sane."

'_Personally, I think Tsunade just wants an excuse to get smashed,' _Kakashi thought, internally rolling his eyes. _'But either way, this__** is**__ a good opportunity.'_ Once again tuning out Sakura, Kakashi began devising his own plans for that night.

* * *

Iruka had circled the perimeter of the men's hot springs three times and hadn't caught a whiff of Jiraiya. He groaned in aggravation and resigned himself to going home – there was just nothing left for him to do at this point. And as far as he was concerned, he had been through quite enough for the day.

However, he was halted on his way out of the area by a sliver of bright white hair peeking out of the bushes outside the walls of the hot springs. _'Wait a minute… it couldn't – '_ He peered closer. It was! Iruka almost jumped in joy before something struck him. _'Wait… this is the women's side of the springs… he's…'_ Iruka blushed bright red. _'__**That's**__ what he meant by going to the hot springs for research! He's a bigger pervert than Kakashi! Kakashi…' _Iruka momentarily became distracted. _'I wonder how his mission is going. I hope he's ok… it must have been a dangerous mission to have him called away so late at night like that.'_ The chuunin shook his brown ponytail back and forth. _'I should stop thinking about him – I do that far too much. Alright, Iruka, focus… focus back on the pervert in the bushes…' _His face flamed again.

There was no way he could go over there! How do you confront an old pervert spying on half-naked or fully naked girls from the bushes? Iruka shook his head but stopped quickly as he realized that he had developed a very bad headache and really shouldn't be moving it that much. Trying not to think, lest he hurt himself even more or back down after all he'd gone through, he marched up behind Jiraiya and tapped him on the shoulder.

The older man jumped, causing Iruka to jump as he had not expected to be able to sneak up on one of the legendary sannin. Jiraiya ran a hand down his face. "Alright, kid, what is it now?"

Something in Iruka snapped. "Ok, first of all, stop calling me 'kid' – I am not a kid, and it makes you seem… _old_." _'Which makes it very difficult to imagine doing anything even remotely intimate with you.' _"And secondly, I have been trying and trying and _trying_ all damn day – what do I have to do!? Do- do- do you want me to put my hair down?" He yanked the hair tie out and threw it on the ground. "Do I need to show a little leg – a little chest – _what_!?" he screeched tugging haphazardly at his clothes.

Jiraiya bolted forward. "SHHHHHHH!" he hissed, clamping a hand over Iruka's mouth, but it was too late.

Girlish shrieks came from the other side of the wooden partition, and stampeding feet flew inside. Jiraiya growled, going back to his peephole and slamming his palm against the wood when he saw nothing but empty water. "Great…"

"Who's there?" several feminine voices called from around the corner.

"Shit! Run!" Iruka barely had time to register the urgent whispers before he found himself the only man in the area and surrounded by angry, dripping women.

* * *

"_There_ you guys are! We've been looking all over for you!"

Kakashi snapped out of his daydreams and locked his gaze on the blonde who was ambling up to them. The jounin didn't think he had ever been so happy to hear that obnoxious voice ringing in his ears.

Sakura put her hands on her hips and glared at the shorter boy as well as Sasuke who was plodding along behind Naruto, a lot slower than his companion and staring at the dirt. "Well, it certainly took you long enough."

Sasuke grumbled something under his breath and Naruto had the decency to look embarrassed. His mouth twitched into a nervous smile. "Well, we figured you had to come back on your own _some_ time… apparently not though," he turned the conversation back to the other two. "What are you two doing just sitting around here?"

"Oh, I was just helping Kakashi-sensei with – "

Kakashi turned his head sharply and pleaded silently with his one eye. The absolute last thing he needed at this point was a protective Naruto coming after his head for going after Iruka-sensei. He could only handle so many issues concerning this relationship at one time…

Sakura bit her lip, catching the hint. "I mean, _he_ was helping _me_, with a jutsu – obviously, I mean, what could he possibly need _my_ help for?" She smiled innocently.

Naruto's eyebrows shot up. He slowly turned to Sasuke, speaking out of the side of his mouth. "Ok, she's starting to act weird too… it's spreading."

Sasuke sighed. "Naruto… just… shut up."

* * *

"Iruka-sensei?"

Iruka paled as he recognized the woman's voice from somewhere inside the angry mob. It was one thing to be confronted outside the women's hot springs by women he didn't actually know – it was another thing to be confronted outside the women's hot springs by – "Kurenai…"

Kurenai stepped forward, awkwardly wrapped only in a small bathrobe, as were most of the women in the group. The female jounin stared at him in disbelief. Iruka wanted to die. He had thought that this mission would cause him enough trouble among the male population – he hadn't really taken into account the female population. Well, he _had_ briefly thought about Kurenai – but any sort of trouble he had expected to get into with her he had expected to be because of Asuma – not because he was caught supposedly spying on her in the women's hot springs. "Iruka-sensei… what…?"

Iruka held up his hands and tried to speak through his dry throat. "Kurenai – this is not what it looks like."

"Liar!"

"Pervert!"

"Well, what _is_ it then?"

"You _know_ this perv, Kurenai?" all sounded from various parts of the pack. Iruka shriveled back, fully expecting to be torn to pieces any second.

Kurenai shushed the other women and turned back to Iruka. "Well…?"

In his attempt to look at anything but the enraged women in front of him, his eyes landed on a shock of white trying to creep away off to the side. Leaping after him, he dragged Jiraiya out of hiding, earning an undignified 'eep' from the other shinobi. "Please, forgive us, ladies – we weren't doing what you think we were doing… in fact, we were just looking for a little privacy." Jiraiya looked confused but seemed to know better than to try to open his mouth in such a delicate situation.

The women still looked skeptical but many also looked curious at this point. Kurenai arched an eyebrow. "What – ?"

Iruka grabbed Jiraiya by the shoulders and spun him so they were facing off. "I'm sorry – this was a silly idea. Can you forgive me?" he simpered. Jiraiya just nodded dumbly, figuring that was what he was supposed to do. Iruka smiled brightly, and, not risking wasting one more second, grabbed the white, bushy head firmly, and tugged it to his lips.

Several women gasped, some squealed, and some just turned away, blushing violently and trying to suppress girlish giggles. Kurenai's eyes widened and a light blush dusted her cheeks. She averted her gaze quickly and started to usher the other women away. "Alright, alright – nothing more to see here – mystery solved – all is well – let's go ladies!" She shooed them away, jogging after them.

Iruka pulled away as soon as they were gone, breathing somewhat heavily from what he had just accomplished.

Jiraiya looked slightly disturbed, but almost too surprised to be anything else. Iruka cleared his throat, not quite sure what he was supposed to do _now_. The sannin finally blinked, seeming to come back to reality, and surveyed the area where the women had been gathered radiating murderous intent only moments before. He nodded appreciatively. "Well, I gotta hand it to you, sensei, _good cover_." He slapped Iruka on the arm again.

The brunette clutched the spot that must have been bruised at that point. "Uh… yeah… cover… figured it would work…" he muttered, thankful that this might be one situation he could come away from where the misunderstanding would actually work out better for him.

Jiraiya nodded sagely. "Yes, and you know – chicks dig the whole man-on-man thing… this could actually be very good publicity."

Iruka half rolled his eyes, thinking back to the redhead. "Yeah… so I've noticed."

Jiraiya glanced back at Iruka and paused a moment, surveying the chuunin's features. "You know… you do look kinda good with your hair down," he murmured thoughtfully.

Iruka stared at him in disbelief.

Jiraiya winked.

A vein throbbed in Iruka's forehead. "Oh, don't even!" he snapped, and stormed away, leaving Jiraiya blinking after him in bewilderment.

* * *

After sending his students home, finally resolving that there wouldn't be any training after all today, Kakashi began his trudge home in the waning sunlight. He was tired… boy oh boy, was he tired. First Gai, then Sakura – all while he was dealing with this stupid emotional roller coaster he wasn't used to at all. Even though he hadn't actually gone on a real mission that day, he couldn't help but feel as if he had just completed an A-rank.

He was just thinking the day couldn't possibly get any worse when he froze in front of the bookstore.

**NEW Special Edition Ichaicha Nights Release – Book Signing By The Author TODAY ONLY**.

Kakashi couldn't even move.

DAMN GAI! How he could _do_ this to him!? The jounin was dangerously close to murder… or crying if he couldn't find Gai (or Genma – mustn't forget about him) in time.

"Kakashi-sensei."

Only one sweet voice could snap the silver-haired jounin from murderous thoughts like that. Kakashi's heart sped up and he whirled to see a very concerned, very tired-looking, but very sexy Iruka peering back at him through unrestrained hair. "Uh… yo," was all he managed to choke out, and he suddenly felt like a foolish teenager.

"You're back from your mission," Iruka commented, his eyes raking Kakashi's body up and down. Kakashi felt his whole being heat up, hoping that Iruka was surveying him for _certain_ reasons, but the look on the chuunin's face told him otherwise. "Are you alright?"

It took a moment for Kakashi's brain to catch up. Then he remembered that he had been supposedly called away to an important mission when he was with Iruka last night. _'Iruka… last night…'_ The jounin's mind had a temporary meltdown, but with Iruka staring right at him, he couldn't dawdle in his fantasy land for too long. He couldn't tell Iruka that the "mission" wasn't really a mission, just Gai acting insane – about _him_. Iruka thought Kakashi was strange enough as it was. And as much as me may have tuned out Sakura's rantings earlier in the day, some things had subconsciously filtered into his mind about how to _not_ scare Iruka off – and one of them was acting as normal as possible. "Yes, I'm fine, Iruka, don't worry about it." Kakashi's eye arched reassuringly.

The brunette smiled, relieved, but not one hundred percent sure why he was so much. "Well, good... I'm glad."

Everything in Kakashi leaped with joy. Iruka was glad he was ok! Iruka had been worried, somewhat – at least. Ok, so he hadn't specifically stated that he had been worried, or that he had thought about him while he was "away on mission" at all, but he was glad that he was ok! Kakashi smiled brightly. At the very least, Iruka was starting to become more used to expressing his feelings openly. That was progress! "Thank you, Iruka."

Iruka fought back a blush at the gentle tone. Silence surrounded the area, and Kakashi couldn't keep his eyes off the way the rising moonlight played around Iruka's loose chocolate locks. The chuunin shifted uncomfortably under his intense gaze, remembering Kakashi's threat to finish their earlier conversation. He didn't know if he could handle it, especially after the day he'd just had.

The jounin could sense exactly what Iruka was thinking, and as much as he desperately wanted to go back to that conversation and finish what he'd started, he just didn't have it in him at the moment – and for whatever reason, it didn't look as though Iruka did either. Coming down from the adrenaline high of the initial kiss that had been pushing him the past couple of days, Kakashi decided he could wait until tomorrow to pick up where he had left off… oh, but tomorrow, it _would_ be picked up. After he rested – after Iruka rested – they were going to work this out.

"Well, I'm rather tired, Iruka. I think I should get home."

Iruka's head snapped up in surprise. _'He's not going to bring it back up?'_ A part of him ached in a disappointment he couldn't find a logical reason for. "Oh, right, you must be tired – you should rest. Good night."

Kakashi smiled. "Yes, you look a little tuckered out yourself, Iruka. Sleep well tonight."

Iruka felt something warm inside him and decided the feeling wasn't entirely unwelcome. He was just about to try to slink past the jounin before the other man changed his mind and tried to molest him again, when Kakashi suddenly turned to the side and let out a depressed sigh. The chuunin blinked and followed his gaze. The pieces fell together when he saw the sign that had started all his trouble that morning. His eyes widened slightly in comprehension. Of course. Ichaicha was Kakashi's thing – and he hadn't even been around for a book signing by the author… a horribly perverted author – but he doubted that was news to Kakashi, or that it would bother the jounin at all. After all, he read Jiraiya's books religiously.

"Oh... uh… here…" He reached into his pocket and pulled out the special edition Ichaicha Nights, signed by Jiraiya himself, and held it out awkwardly to the stunned jounin in front of him.

Iruka almost laughed at the expression on Kakashi's face. He was sure that if that mask wasn't in the way, he would be witnessing Kakashi slack-jawed. And he felt his face heat up a bit as he realized that he now had a real image of the ever elusive face to imagine that expression on. Gloved hands reached tentatively for the book, not seeming to believe that he was really receiving what he thought he was receiving. "How did you – did you… get this… for me?" the jounin practically squeaked out.

The little orange book balanced delicately in Kakashi's hands like he thought he might break it if he held it too tightly. Iruka scratched at the back of his head. "Ah, well… it's a long story, and um… well – just take it. I know you want it." He turned and started to walk away, then paused and craned his neck back around to fix Kakashi with a hard stare. "But do _not_ tell anyone who you got that from."

Finally regaining his normal voice back, Kakashi comically saluted Iruka. "Sure thing, Iruka."

Iruka nodded, probably mostly to himself, and then sprinted off.

Kakashi was left standing in the middle of the deserted street, beaming like a madman.

Not just because he had a special edition Ichaicha Nights signed by Jiraiya and given to him by Iruka in his grasp. But because he had just used Iruka's name five times without adding the 'sensei' and he hadn't been corrected.

* * *

Ok, so there was no smut... life can't be all about the smut... sometimes... But it is a chapter, is it not? ehehe... ok, yeah, I understand if you're still mad...

First order of business, a fanart challenge I posed over a year ago - Gai-sensei in casual - I will finally post the link to Blanca Martens' (wannaseemymoon) picture of Gai-sensei in casual clothing. So sorry for the horrendous delay on that! wannaseemymoon .deviantart art/Gai-in-casual-44848607 without the spaces, obviously.

Second order of busines... um... I can't really think of anything at the moment. I'm sure there was stuff I was supposed to say here, but all I can come up with right now is a thousand apologies and an assurance that I now have the remaining chapters planned out so they'll be a lot easier to work on so hopefully the wait will be way more reasonable in the future.

Thank you to all the reviewers who consistently kicked my ass into a gear just a little bit more with each new reivew and the faithful people who keep coming back over and over, waiting for me to stop procrastinating. I can't tell you how much the words of encouragement mean to me. This is the best story I've written so far, and I can assure you no matter how long it might sit here without being updated, I will never abandon it... unless I die... let's cross our fingers on that one haha

And, as always, if you enjoyed, or just need to yell at me about my tardiness, please review!

**DixieGoddess**


	11. Chapter 11

What is this? It's a bird… it's a plane… it's… Mission: Kiss Me Deadly back from the dead! Holy crap!

Yeah, this fic has been dead for over 4 years… I am utterly ashamed. I considered just taking it down a few times, but I always loved this story the most and knew that someday… just someday… I would return to finish it. And I finally have!

I've revamped the other chapters just slightly. Nothing too drastic.

I'm not super happy with this chapter as it's not very funny. I wanted to combine it with the next chapter, but it's already longer than any other chapter, so I have to break them up, and this is just a filler to breach the time gap.

So yeah, I'll just let you get on with it!

* * *

Kakashi swiped at his hair nervously. He had attempted to brush/tame it that morning, but that was damn near impossible. A good half hour at it had resulted in him looking in the mirror and seeing no difference whatsoever. In fact, he had become so frustrated that he had done something he swore he would _never _do.

Invite one of his students into his apartment.

Sakura was shocked, to say the least, when a nin-dog had appeared in her bedroom at the crack of dawn to summon her. In fact, shocked probably wasn't the right term… Defensively violent and murderous might be better. Kakashi couldn't help but feel a little proud when Pakkun returned with a strip of fur missing from the top of his head, but he kept his laughter hidden from the angry nin-dog and promised the pug that he would never send him into Sakura's lair again. Then he snickered heartily to himself once Pakkun disappeared, muttering obscenities.

When Sakura showed up at his door moments later and he mourned to her about his hair, she had quickly assured him that it looked better than it normally did. However, it didn't take his genius mind to tell that she was lying through her teeth, and he instantly felt all kinds of pathetic regret for calling her there in the first place.

Attempts to send her home failed, however, as she was so excited to be called upon for advice again that she completely brushed aside his embarrassment and set about trying to pep-up her sensei. Kakashi had managed to keep himself from Iruka all day Sunday. A feat he felt he deserved a damn medal for. But Sakura, despite some of her boy-catching ramblings being completely ridiculous for his situation, had managed to convince him of this one. Luckily, he had a brand-new, shiny, autographed book to keep him occupied for a good portion of the day.

And now, here he was, bright and early Monday morning, attempting to make himself presentable enough to approach Iruka on his way to work and ask him out on a real date – the Shinobi Social.

He had been so wrapped up in his own little world lately, he hadn't even heard of it, but Sakura had filled him in and persuaded him it would be his best and safest bet in getting Iruka on a "date." Kakashi still wasn't entirely convinced that being in a room full of other loud, drunken ninja and bad music actually constituted as a _date _but Sakura told him it counted, wasn't too much pressure, and would give him a good barometer for determining if Iruka was actually interested in _being _with him on more than a sexual level. How on earth she concluded such a mass of complicated "dating truths" about some stupid dance, he had no idea. But she was a girl – a young girl, but a girl nonetheless – and he really had no other Boy Knowledge to work off of. So he was just going to have to take his chances with the Teenage Girl Knowledge of Boys and Dating…

He was screwed… he was sure of it.

But it's not as though he had been doing any better on his own, so…

Sakura had also attempted to get him to wear some nice civilian clothes instead of his standard shinobi uniform, but he had drawn the line at letting her into his bedroom and near his closet. Besides, he felt awkward in anything but his uniform. The last thing he needed in an awkward situation was to feel even more awkward in his own clothes.

All in all, the only thing that actually looked slightly different about him today was that he was wearing new sandals… But they looked exactly like his old ones, so he doubted anyone would even notice… or care… Sakura had tried once more to tell him that he looked "dashing" before exiting his apartment, but they both knew he looked no different than usual. He had given her a tired look at this, and, in a last ditch effort to help, she had scolded him on his posture.

Not that he wanted to admit it, but that was actually pretty good advice. Slouching didn't exactly scream "come and get me!" or "I want you under me _right now_!" So, after stopping for coffee, he found himself outside Iruka's home, willing every muscle in his body to hold himself straight and proper.

He was going to greet the academy teacher brightly, hand him one of the coffees, and ask if he could escort him to the academy. Along the way, he would ease into the chit-chat, and end with an invite to the social as they arrived at the doors of the academy. And he wasn't going to be any bolder or intimidating than that. He was going to lull the sensei into easiness around him, and be so damn charming that the brunette would have no choice but to accept his invitation. Yup, that was the plan.

Iruka should be coming out that door any minute to head to the academy… aaaany minute now…

The door creaked open. Kakahi's heart sped up. He plastered a smile to his face –

A short blonde head appeared, yawning loudly.

Kakashi's smile dropped, as did his posture.

Naruto froze and stared at him.

The jounin sighed. "What are you doing here?"

The boy blinked. "What are _you _doing here?"

The one exposed, now irritated-looking, eye of the sharingan-user glared at him.

"I stay here sometimes!" Naruto responded quickly and defensively. "Iruka-sensei made me dinner last night to make up for ditching me the other night, and I crashed here." He proceeded to glare back at his teacher now. "So what are _you_ doing?"

"I'm looking for Iruka-sensei." _'Obviously.'_

The kyuubi-carrier gave him a wary look. "He left already."

Kakashi's posture slumped even further if possible. _'Dammit! I know what time he leaves every morning! And I'm not late! Am I…?'_

Naruto continued, still eyeing him carefully. "He had to leave early to get some stuff finished up in the mission room before classes."

Kakashi nodded, not showing any emotion to the boy. "Great, see ya." And he took off.

Ok, so his plan had been rudely interrupted from the outset, but that was ok. At least he knew where the teacher was, and he could get to the missions office quickly and still have plenty of time for a quick cup of coffee and conversation before Iruka needed to be in class. Minor setback – that was all.

What Kakashi had _not_ been planning to have to throw into the mix was a wild orange blur suddenly crashing into him at the speed of light. Only his jounin reflexes prevented him from hitting the ground in a complete flailing mess – but one of the coffees _did _spill… ALL over him.

He looked up at the blonde with a deadly stare. It wasn't hot – in fact, it had gotten on his vest mostly so he wouldn't have felt it if it was. But why in the hell was his craziest student attacking him out of nowhere at this time of the morning?

"Naruto, you better – "

"You're gonna tell me what's going on right now!"

Kakashi blinked.

Naruto crossed his arms. "Something is going on between you and Iruka-sensei, and he won't tell me, so you're gonna tell me!"

The jounin sighed, closing his eye briefly. "Naruto, it's none of your bus – "

"YES IT IS MY BUSINESS!" the blonde interrupted loudly. Kakashi stopped in surprise. "Iruka-sensei is my family, and he is _always_ my business! And you better remember that!"

Kakashi could have (and briefly felt he should have) just slammed Naruto into the ground with a simple earth jutsu for talking to him like that and been on his way, but the fire blazing in the young genin's eyes stopped him. He smiled just slightly beneath his mask. What had he been thinking? Like he was the only person in this village who cared about Iruka? He should've been expecting this.

"Look," Naruto continued, not shouting anymore, but still just as fierce. "I've gotten past the 'switching bodies' thing. Iruka-sensei proved it was him yesterday. But you're still acting weird, and he's still acting weird when I bring you up. So, if you've _done _something to him – "

"Naruto, I haven't done anything," Kakashi bit out. I mean, he technically _hadn't_, right? Well, aside from molesting him… twice… But Naruto really didn't need to know that, did he? Besides, Iruka had started it... both times.

Naruto continued to glare at him, not fully believing his words.

Kakashi sighed. "Look, we're in the middle of a… misunderstanding. I just need to talk to him and everything will be alright again. Ok?" He smiled at his student, eye curving up in reassurance, even though he couldn't truly promise that Iruka didn't, and wouldn't forever, hate him. But he crushed those thoughts aside as they did nothing to help his confidence in Mission: Ask Iruka on a Date. So he just smiled steadily at the blonde boy, hoping he would accept his vague explanation for now and let him be on his way before Iruka made it to the academy.

The boy didn't seem entirely convinced, but he huffed softly and gave Kakashi one more stern look. "If you ever hurt him, I don't care who you are or how strong you are, you will pay."

If Kakashi hadn't been the big bad copy-nin that he was, he might have shivered at the shockingly serious threat from the usually dim-witted boy. As it was, he kept his composure, nodded his understanding, and leapt off again, wet and one coffee lighter but still determined to make this morning work.

* * *

Iruka smiled softly to himself as he filed away the last of the papers that he had put off all weekend. Far be it for Izumo or Kotetsu, or hell, _Genma_, to finish up the end of the week paperwork, but then again, he had run out of there on Friday and chosen not to return. And he had chosen not to go in the previous day because he really owed it to Naruto – who had turned up on his doorstep almost in tears because of the past few days' madness – to treat him to dinner and explain everything… well, not _everything_, and not completely honestly, but as best he could to calm the boy down.

And he hadn't seen Kakashi all day Sunday. He had honestly kept waiting, in the back of his mind, for a knock on the door or for the silver-haired jounin to just appear in the room through the window again. But by the time he crawled into bed, there was still no sign of Kakashi, and there hadn't been any rude awakenings during the night. The chuunin was relieved… wasn't he? A pang of disappointment hit him, but he tried to squash it. He didn't _want _to see Kakashi. Maybe the jounin had finally given up on trying to torture him. That was a _good_ thing. He should be happy – and he _was_! Dammit…

He jumped a little as another person's chakra appeared outside the room. No one else should be here this early. His heart sped up a little.

"Iruka-sensei?"

Iruka deflated just slightly, and was confused when he did so. It wasn't Kakashi staring back at him, but a tired looking Ebisu who gazed back at him in mild surprise. "Oh, Ebisu. Good morning."

Ebisu whipped out his glasses and quickly put them on, feeling bare and vulnerable without them. He cleared his throat, attempting to put on his usual professional front through his sleepiness. "What are you doing here so early?"

Iruka smiled brightly. "Oh, just finishing up some paperwork I didn't get done Friday."

Ebisu quirked an eyebrow. "Are you feeling alright?" It wasn't like the teacher to put off any sort of work, even for a couple of days. Which was probably the entire reason he had ended up in the hospital out of exhaustion and stress not long ago.

Iruka's smile became slightly strained, but he kept it in place. "Yes, I'm fine."

"Are you sure? You just got out of the hospital – "

"I'm _fine_," the chuunin bit out, before clearing his throat and smiling again. "Thank you for your concern. I was just busy over the weekend." He turned back to the desk and began gathering his satchel for school.

Ebisu nodded. He made a slight movement forward as though he was about to say something else, but huffed instead when someone ran into him from behind and a warm liquid splashed onto his backside. He whipped around, ready to discipline whatever clumsy low-rank shinobi had carelessly invaded his space and spilled something on him – and froze when he came face-to-face with the one and only Copy-ninja of the village. "Oh, um, Kakashi-sensei…"

Iruka's head whipped around. Kakashi stared boredly at his fellow jounin, masking his annoyance. Now, what the hell? Who, besides anal Iruka-sensei would be in the missions office at this hour of the morning? …Well, possibly the only person in the village even _more_ anal than Iruka…

It was one thing to put the moves on the sensei one-on-one – it was an entirely different story to do it in front of others… Others watching and judging and making fun of his awkward attempts in their minds… He'd kill him!

Ahem… Kakashi took a mental step back and remembered that he hadn't actually done anything yet, and Ebisu had no idea why he was there and therefore had no reason to be judging him… Well, except for the giant coffee stain on his front which the other jounin had quickly noticed and who, Kakashi was sure, was now eying silently behind his tinted glasses.

"Ebisu… Iruka-sensei…" he drawled, trying to keep it casual.

"Good morning, Kakashi-sensei," Iruka returned, cringing internally at the way he sounded way too excited to his own ears.

"Is there… something I can help you with, Kakashi-sensei?" Ebisu attempted, but almost physically recoiled when Kakashi shot him a glare. Jeez! What the hell had he done!? In fact, if the squished coffee cup in his hand was any indication, Kakashi had just spilled a good portion of it all down _his _back! Like he had any reason to be glaring at him? But Ebisu was far from courageous enough to voice these thoughts aloud to one of the most formidable men in the village.

"Actually, I was looking for Iruka-sensei." Kakashi quickly attempted to straighten his posture again, now that he realized Iruka was looking at him too.

Both of the other men in the room stared at him a moment. "Oh, uh, well…" Ebisu stuttered less-than-gracefully and stepped aside as Kakashi continued to give him a pointed look.

Iruka couldn't fight the blush from creeping onto his face as the copy-nin's eyes finally locked onto his own. "Uh… yes, Kakashi-sensei?" he inquired in what he hoped was an innocently confused voice, not wanting to rouse weird suspicions in Ebisu's presence.

"I was wondering if I could speak to you for a moment?" Kakashi tried to sound chipper, his eye curving up in a smile that he hoped would draw attention away from his stained clothes.

"Oh, well, um…" Iruka glanced at the clock on the wall. "On the way to the academy? I'm going to be late." He snatched up his bag and brushed past the two jounin near the doorway. "Have a good day, Ebisu!" Then he gave Kakashi a quick look that he took to mean he was welcome to follow, and started off down the hall.

Kakashi gave Ebisu a curt nod, not bothering to apologize for the coffee spill, and took off after the chuunin.

Ebisu sighed, wondering where he could find a spare, clean shirt around here.

Kakashi caught up to Iruka as he was bustling out the door in a hurry, heading in the direction of the academy. Damn, the chuunin was fast! He attempted to give off his usual calm, collected air, but it was proving to be rather difficult to talk slowly and smoothly when you were practically sprinting. Especially since Iruka seemed determined not to look at him. "So, I, uh… coffee!" he announced haltingly, breaking the silence by sticking the slightly squashed cup he was still clutching in Iruka's face. This effectively brought the teacher to a stop for a moment. The brown eyes blinked in slight confusion and surprise.

Kakashi cleared his throat and attempted to make that sentence a little more complete. "I mean, I brought you coffee. Er… well…" He faltered as Iruka tentatively took the cup and shook it when he realized there was only about half of it left. "That was the plan, anyway…" he trailed off, voice losing its bravado.

Iruka blinked slowly, finally registering the stain on the other shinobi's vest. He attempted a tight-lipped smile. "Uh… thanks…" He resumed walking.

Kakashi followed again, his previous confidence quickly deflating like a popped balloon. This was not going right _at all_. Damn Naruto. Damn Ebisu! Damn _coffee_! He didn't have time to go through with his whole comforting chit-chat scenario, and he looked far worse than usual even after all his prepping, but he had to say _something_. _'Just ask him, Kakashi!'_ he scolded himself. _'You're an elite ninja, for gods sake. You know how to bounce back when Plan A doesn't go the way you intended. Just regroup! If he likes you the way you think he does, he'll say yes anyway.'_ "Iruka," The brown eyes finally flew to him. He couldn't read the exact expression, but Iruka looked anxious. "I was hoping – "

He was cut off by the sound of the bell a short distance away. Iruka startled, breaking his gaze on Kakashi. "Crap! I'm late! Sorry, Kakashi-sensei!" By the time Kakashi had registered what had happened, he was standing alone.

He kicked a rock on the ground petulantly. So much for his big plans…

* * *

Iruka sighed and slumped in his chair. The morning had felt _long_. Well, it had been longer than normal since he got up early to finish paperwork. But class had seemed to drag on forever before it was time for lunch. A part of him was relieved when Kakashi hadn't been able to finish his thought, but another part was still anxious about what he would eventually have to deal with. Yet _another_ part was anxious to see Kakashi again for a whole different set of reasons. And then there was always Genma lurking in the back of his mind.

He grimaced. His distractions were costing him dearly in the classroom. Especially with Konohomaru, who may have rivaled Naruto in his absolute cluelessness in everything else, but for some strange reason had been able to perfectly hone the skills required to know precisely when his teachers were off their game. The boy was going to make a horrible assassin, but Iruka wouldn't doubt it if he ended up excelling in T&I someday.

He sighed as a shift in his posture caused the crinkling of paper to be heard between his back and the chair. He reached behind him and removed the paper shuriken that had been stuck to him with chakra. If only the boy devoted this much effort to studying and applying chakra control to things that actually _mattered_, he might actually become a decent ninja someday…

"Konohomaru, I assume."

Iruka jumped lightly at the voice from the doorway. He blinked in mild surprise as Ebisu stood there smiling softly in his direction. The jounin nodded to the paper shuriken. "He's been perfecting that silly technique since he was old enough to know what chakra control was."

Iruka snorted. "Doesn't surprise me."

"Just be grateful he isn't brave enough to try it with anything but paper around you."

The chuunin's eyebrows rose. "Oh?"

"Let's just say I've taken various kitchen appliances to the back over the years."

"Ouch… I don't know how you do it," Iruka mused.

Ebisu adjusted his glasses, looking a little embarrassed. "No, I don't know how _you_ do it, Iruka-sensei." Iruka stared at him confused. "He actually listens to you once in awhile. Something I've yet to manage…"

"Hmm…" Iruka didn't really know what to say. He would have liked to tell Ebisu that Konohomaru was just a rambunctious kid who would grow up one day and start respecting him, but he couldn't honestly promise that. And he didn't really talk to Ebisu enough to know how to be comforting. He didn't know him that well. Which begged the question – "So, is there something I can help you with?"

Ebisu shifted, and Iruka wondered briefly if he was nervous about something. It was a little difficult to tell with the man.

The jounin cleared his throat. It had been impulse, really, that had brought him here on the teacher's lunch break. It wasn't like he had been planning it for a long time or anything. In fact, before he ran into him this morning, the thought hadn't even crossed his mind. But a slightly drunken conversation (ok, let's be honest, it was more of a shouting match) between him and Anko the previous evening would not leave his mind.

He had just been trying to enjoy a night off when that loud-mouthed kunoichi had insisted on plopping her drunk ass down next to him at the bar and harassing him with completely inappropriate questions. It was absolutely none of her damn business when the last time he'd gotten laid was – it wasn't even any of her business when his last date had been. But she had been relentless, eventually devolving into a song she had lovingly entitled Ebisu the Untouchable Virgin, and he had exploded on her that he was, in fact, going to the Shinobi Social with someone.

Of course, that was a lie… The truth was, although no virgin (he swore!), it had been an awfully long time since he'd even been on a date. He just didn't… _do _those things. At least, not since Konohomaru had become pretty much a fulltime responsibility… And yeah, that was _ages _ago…

He had been fully planning on coming down with a severe case of the flu or other such ailment the night of the dance, even though he knew Anko would know he had been lying if he tried that old trick. But when he had run into Iruka that morning, he couldn't help but wonder…

Maybe he should just do it… actually ask someone, _go_ with someone… It's not like it would kill him. Sure, he was a little out of practice, ("A little!" Anko had laughed loudly, when he'd said this to her. "I bet the last time you went on a date was back when sex toys still had hand cranks!"), he could still get back in the game any time he wanted… Well, at least that's what he would tell himself. And if he was going to give it a try, why not try with someone who he knew was kind and unfalteringly polite… and there was a 98% chance that this politeness would not allow him to turn down the jounin, even if he wanted to, and thus eliminating most of the potential for embarrassment…

So he tried to stand tall and look like he still knew what he was doing, and he boldly asked, "I was wondering if you were going to the Shinobi Social with anyone next weekend?"

Iruka looked a little confused for a second, before a vague memory of being told about the shinobi dance came back to him. He hadn't been planning on going – big parties weren't his thing and who would he go with anyway? So he just shook his head minutely. "Um… no, I wasn't planning on it."

"Well, I was wondering if maybe you'd like to go together then?"

"Uhhh…" Well, this was certainly unexpected! Iruka barely knew the man. What was going on here? Up until he'd gotten this stupid mission, he'd felt virtually invisible in terms of the dating scene. He considered himself average-looking at best – nothing special. Nobody was ever tripping over themselves to get at him. Why all of a sudden…? And he hadn't even _done _anything to Ebisu yet! He had yet to even get to him on his list – why on earth was the strange jounin suddenly asking him out?

"I mean," Ebisu stuttered almost imperceptibly. "Just as friends… no pressure. I just thought it would be nice to have someone to go with…" And to get Anko off his damn back…

Iruka bit his bottom lip. It wasn't exactly planned and it wasn't exactly the smartest idea ever, considering the weekend he had had. A brief part of him wondered what cosmic deity was conveniently throwing all these jounin at him right after he had received his Mission from Hell. But what other opportunity would he have with Ebisu? Especially if he turned him down and effectively scared him off from talking to him or looking at him even semi-romantically ever again? So he stretched his mouth into a smile. "Sure. I'd love to," he chirped.

Ebisu's stance relaxed significantly. "Great, Iruka-sensei! I'll pick you up on Saturday at 8."

"Sounds good." Iruka shot the other man a last smile before Ebisu sauntered out of the room, looking more pleased than Iruka had probably ever seen him.

* * *

Kakashi had spent the rest of the morning at the memorial stone (after changing into a clean vest), talking quietly to his old team about the recent goings-on. He swore he could hear them all laughing at his predicament. He could totally see the smug look on Obito's face at realizing that his socially-retarded teammate had such a bad crush on someone. His sensei was probably smirking too. Rin was most-assuredly laughing her ass off at the fact that he had to resort to his barely pubescent genin student for love advice.

"I just would like _one_ encounter with him that doesn't end with me looking like an idiot or a jackass... or a pervert." He sighed heavily. "I don't think I've ever been so bad at something I'm actually trying at in my life. I'm better at several things that I don't even try at at all…" He sighed as the imagined ghost-giggles died down at his unusual seriousness. "Ok, you guys, stop giving me the pity look. I'm not _that _pathetic. I'm gonna go back and try again when he switches over to the mission desk. I'm sure it'll go better this time."

He nodded hard once to shake himself out of the self-loathing thoughts. Only a few hours to go, and then things would be all better.

* * *

Iruka strode to the missions room in better spirits than he had been in for the past few days. Genma wasn't working today, so he wouldn't have to deal with him, and he hadn't had another Kakashi run-in all day, and the jounin should be off training his team by now. In addition, he now had a solid plan in place for checking Ebisu off his list of kisses, and he hadn't even had to do anything embarrassing – for once! Maybe things were finally looking up…

The brunette practically skidded to a halt as he approached the missions room door and spotted Genma lounging outside it. _'Crap! He isn't working today, is he? I could've __**sworn**__ I was working with Kotetsu! Why is he here? Why is he here?' _But as the bandana-clad jounin sensed his presence and turned to lock gazes with the teacher, Iruka knew what he should have known the second this mission was handed to him.

1) Crazy jounin are impossible to get rid of, especially if you rile them up and turn something into a mysterious puzzle that they have to solve. And 2) _All _jounin are crazy.

And Genma was here for him.

* * *

Kakashi peered at the sky from over the top of his newest Ichaicha book, (the pages were already slightly dog-eared), and calculated that it was near time for Iruka to be heading to his mission desk shift. Maybe if he hurried, he could even meet the teacher on his route from the academy to the missions office so he could have a little more privacy.

And then, he _supposed_, he could go train his team in the last few remaining hours of sunlight. He hadn't had it in him to go and attempt to give them his full attention for a short while before disappearing to continue his personal mission again. He also didn't know if he could face Sakura without a concrete answer. Or Naruto, for that matter, since the kyubbi-boy had made it very clear that morning that his jounin sensei better set things right with Iruka or there would be hell to pay.

Sighing and gathering all his resolve, the copy-nin pocketed his book and sprung off to go find the object of his affections once more.

* * *

Dammit! Iruka wasn't at the academy anymore. He hadn't judged the time quite right. Kakashi briefly wished that he wore one of the 37 watches he had been given as gifts over the years.

The sensei also was nowhere to be seen as the jounin sprinted along the path to the missions office. So he climbed the tree next to the window and was slightly dismayed to see the perky brunette already seated at his desk, checking over a report.

The copy-nin felt a twinge of disappointment at his bad timing, but perked up when he noticed that at least _Genma _wasn't working that day. It was just another chuunin – Kakashi didn't know his name, though he was sure he had seen him around somewhere. Oh well, either way, it didn't matter. The point was, he didn't have to worry about competing for Iruka's attention today. He would simply wait until the missions room was empty and the other little desk chuunin was engrossed in his work, and then he would go in and talk to Iruka.

While he waited, Kakashi tried to perfect his ask-out speech. _'Sure…' _he moped sullenly to himself. _'In all her babbling, Sakura never once brought up the correct thing to __**say**__.'_ He pulled out his book, but quickly put it away again as the steamy words on the page were only serving to inspire him with very inappropriate things, and he liked to think he had finally moved beyond his stupid verbal diarrhea that always upset the teacher. No, he really needed to think up something _normal _and _proper _to say for once.

However, he didn't get much time to think it through as he heard a very familiar shout filter through the window. He jumped and got immediately defensive before realizing that this time Iruka wasn't yelling at him about one of _his _reports. He smirked as he watched the sensei rip some other jounin a new one. Heh… it was actually kinda funny when he wasn't the one being yelled at.

The curses from the angry chuunin served to clear out the room as the jounin being yelled at took off to fix his report, and the few stragglers lounging about decided to move out of range of the teacher's fury. The spiky-haired chuunin chuckled and said something to his companion. Iruka quickly slumped back from his tense posture and laughed quietly, seeming to calm down.

Well… it was as good a time as any.

* * *

Iruka chuckled softly at Kotetsu's joking reprimand for scaring off all the shinobi, but his muscles instantly seized up again as a slight breeze hit his back. There was only one ninja Iruka knew who insisted on using the window instead of the door – especially if he was on duty. He took a deep breath, but refused to turn around. He didn't have to, however, as the silver-haired nin seamlessly maneuvered his way to the front of the desk, almost seeming to just appear there had Iruka not been paying attention to the small draft he created when he came in a second earlier.

The jounin's eye curved into a smile. "Iruka."

Iruka tried to smile back, but he was certain he probably looked completely abnormal. "Kakashi-sensei…" He quickly dipped his head and shuffled a few papers around on his desk. "Um… there don't seem to be any missions, uh, for someone of your rank today…" he stuttered out, though he was pretty sure that's _not _why Kakashi was standing in front of him, especially since Naruto hadn't said anything lately about his sensei taking time off from training them to go work solo missions.

"Hmm…" Kakashi stuffed his hands in his pockets, trying to appear nonchalant to the other chuunin who was also currently staring at him. "That's not why I'm here. I actually wanted to talk to you. We never got to finish our conversation this morning."

Iruka's cheeks flared, and he could feel Kotetsu's intense eyes watching everything unfold. _'Not here! Not now! I can't talk about this __**now**__!'_ He landed big pleading eyes on the jounin and tried to relay the message that this was _not _a good time to do this.

But apparently, the chuunin's telepathic abilities weren't up to snuff, because Kakashi continued speaking.

"I wanted to ask you something," the jounin continued. He fidgeted imperceptibly, wanting to fix his posture, but not wanting to look totally out of character to his small audience who didn't seem as though he was going to be paying his paperwork any mind until the conversation in front of him was done. His flight instincts kicked in, but he squashed them down. He couldn't very well just take off now that he had already come in and started talking. He ended up stuck in a slightly more rigid than usual slouch that probably looked odd to anyone who knew his usual body language, but he tried not to think about it.

Iruka swore he was gonna punch Kotetsu in his damn face if he scooted any closer to try to eavesdrop. Just his luck that he would get stuck working with his nosiest friend on the shift that Kakashi decided to confront him about their _intimate_ encounters. "Um… Kakashi-sensei," his voice was a whisper as he tried to stop the humiliating train-wreck.

"I was wondering… if you would care to accompany me to the Shinobi Social... next weekend?" His speech was stunted a little, but he was actually pretty proud of the normalcy he had managed to conjure up on the spot. Ok, so it wasn't Shakespeare (or Jiraiya), but he had managed to enunciate all his words clearly and not sound like a panicked teenager. And nothing sounded ridiculous or perverted and like it had any potential to upset the teacher. That had to count for something.

"Oh!" Iruka looked surprised. Surprised in a good way?... Kakashi hoped… "Actually…" the chuunin trailed off, and the silver-haired man felt all his hopes crumble into dust. "I – I'm already going with someone…" Iruka barely squeaked out, his cheeks getting, if possible, redder. He refused to meet the jounin's eye.

Kakashi seemed to immediately transform into his normal slumped, not-a-care-in-the-world posture, and his eye settled back into formal indifference. He was a shinobi after all. Some missions failed… and you just had to move on…

"Of course you are," he drawled as though the revelation didn't phase or bother him at all. "I should have known." He pulled out his hideous orange book and propped it up in front of his face. Iruka noticed it was his old Ichaicha Paradise and not the new Ichaicha Nights he had given him the previous day. "I'll let you get back to work. Good day… Iruka-sensei."

Iruka stared after him, not entirely sure what had just happened.

* * *

Kakakshi ambled into the hallway and was stopped short as he spotted none other than Genma leaning against the opposite wall, twirling his senbon absent-mindedly. They froze.

Kakashi studied the other jounin over the top of his book. Genma studied Kakashi over the top of his senbon. Neither spoke.

They were snapped out of their staring contest a tense minute later by a flustered chuunin running between them with a stack of papers. Both men "hmph-ed" and turned in opposite directions, both sure that the other was the reason why the sensei in the other room had shot them down for the dance.

* * *

Back in the missions room, Iruka now had no choice but to face Kotetsu who was staring, slack-jawed, at his friend. "W-wait a minute…" he began slowly, glancing back and forth between Iruka and where Kakashi had just stood moments before. "Are you and Kakashi…?"

"No!" Iruka exploded, and his chest tightened painfully. From embarrassment… obviously…

"Who are you going to the Shinobi Social with?"

"None of your business," the teacher growled, trying to conjure up some of his previous wrath that had scared off the other ninja in the room earlier.

"Ah, but…" Kotetsu still looked flabbergasted. "Kakashi has a thing for you…?" It was more a statement than a question, and Kotetsu's features were starting to morph into those of a mischievous gossip-whore.

Iruka shook his hands wildly in front of him. "No! No! No, he doesn't!"

"Yes he does!" the bandaged chuunin cried happily. "Why else would he ask you to the dance? And he didn't even put the 'sensei' on the end of your name? When did you two get so familiar?"

Iruka looked taken aback. "He... what?" How could he not have noticed?

"Oh my god!" His colleague grasped Iruka by the shoulder. "I can't believe _the _Kakashi Hatake has a crush on you!"

"Kotetsu!" Iruka grabbed the other's wrist before it could retreat from his shoulder. "He doesn't have a crush on me!" The tightening feeling happened again. "He was probably just messing with me. You know how Kakashi-sensei is." He attempted a good-natured laugh to get his friend's mind out of the gutter, but it came out weak and the other chuunin was far too gone in his own little world to listen to anything else.

The crazed chuunin wrenched free and jumped up.

"Wait! Where are you going!?" Iruka pleaded. "You cannot spread this around!"

"I – uh – " Kotetsu backed away, not giving Iruka a chance to trap him. "I have to go check on some paperwork that Shizune was supposed to bring!" He sped out the door, and Iruka flopped back into his chair. Fan – freaking – tastic. Within hours the whole village would know about this…

* * *

Sakura was trying very hard to ignore the two idiots next to her, but it was becoming increasingly difficult. Kakashi-sensei was later than usual, and they had started out completely silent and not looking at each other. Finally, Naruto, not really possessing the ability to sit still and silent for more than 10 minutes at a time (and even that was a stretch) had decided to throw a rock at his teammate's head. This had prompted them to take it upon themselves to start their own "training" – aka: trying to beat the living crap out of each other. Sasuke, obviously, was winning, but not without a lot of effort - in fact, Naruto had already landed quite a few painful hits on him. The blonde, having quickly noticed that he was doing a hell of a lot better than he normally did against the raven-haired boy had started in with the trash-talking. Sasuke had gotten flustered and retaliated by… pinching him…

By this point, they were no longer physically fighting like real ninja, but having a name-calling/pinching contest… Really now… She seethed as she glared at them out of the corner of her eye. All it would take to complete the picture of infantilism would be if one of them called the other a "doody-head."

She was on the verge of shouting at them to shut up and go on a time-out, when she finally felt Kakashi land in the clearing. She looked up hopefully, but the look in the older man's eyes was dead. Even Inner-Sakura deflated morosely.

"Break it up, you two," Kakashi barked at the bickering boys, his voice its usual slightly-irritated command. The genin parted reluctantly, still glaring daggers at each other. "No training today. Go home."

"WHAAAAA -?" Naruto screeched, frightening away some of the local wildlife. "WHAT THE HELL!? UNFAIR! WE'VE BEEN WAITING ALL DAY!"

Sasuke glowered at his sensei, the agreement with the orange-clad boy clear on his features, though he would never admit it out loud.

"Then you just completed an exercise in stamina. Congratulations. Go home," the jounin repeated, starting to turn away.

Naruto erupted into a hissy-fit while Sasuke growled at him to shut up. "Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura ran after her sensei, the unspoken question hanging thickly between them. The silver-haired nin turned back just enough to catch her worried eyes. He shook his head minutely, looking much more tired than he had a moment ago in front of the entire team. The kunoichi's features fell, and she barely had time to blink, let alone offer condolences, before the man before her had vanished. She stared at the empty spot forlornly.

"Hey, Sakura? What's wrong?" Naruto had ceased his whining long enough to notice that his normally temperamental teammate wasn't joining him in cursing out their irresponsible sensei.

Sakura snapped out of her daze and offered him a brief glance. "Oh… it's nothing. Bye, Naruto." She rushed off, not even realizing she hadn't said goodbye to Sasuke who was watching everything curiously.

* * *

Iruka was so worn out he could feel even his ponytail wilting under the stress. Kotetsu had never returned to his post at the desk – had probably forgotten all about it – but Iruka swore that several shinobi who had entered the room later were giving him strange looks… as though they had heard something interesting about him…

The chuunin sighed. He couldn't deal with this right now. He scooped up his paperwork and hurried out the door, locking it behind him before anyone else could turn up with another late report that he would be forced to look over and file.

The cloudless sky and gleaming stars did little to brighten his mood as it normally would have. And the day had started out so good too…

A burst of laughter caught the teacher's attention as he passed one of the local pubs. He paused, entertaining the thought. He didn't drink much. He was a responsible teacher after all. A responsible teacher who worked early mornings and often pulled double-duty in the missions room afterward. And weekends usually were devoted to grading and making new lesson plans. Plus, he had just never been the kind of person to drink away his problems. However…

He breathed out a sigh of resolution. He deserved it, right? A quick little drink just to take the edge off, maybe help him get to bed faster so he wouldn't be kept up worrying about all these complications from his stupid mission… One drink – that was it. Just one drink, and then he would go home.

The bad lighting took a second to adjust to, but the chuunin blinked and looked around the tiny bar. He relaxed a little as he scouted out the other patrons. He had been worried he'd look out of place in his work clothes, but a lot of shinobi were lounged across various tables and stools in their uniforms still.

He approached the bar hesitantly. "Uh… just a glass of sake please…" he ordered shyly, still not 100% confident in his decision to be in there. Watch, one of his student's parents would come waltzing through that door any second. Just what he would've needed… an overprotective parent wondering what their son or daughter's teacher was doing in a pub on a school night.

"You sure? Bottle's a better deal," the bartender chided.

"Um, no… thank you. Just a glass," Iruka repeated firmly. He drummed his fingers nervously on the counter as the bartender disappeared.

"Iruka Umino?" a voice slurred from his right.

Iruka started and turned. A scarred ninja was staring (well, attempting to anyway) at him with half-glazed eyes. It took a second for Iruka to recognize him as Ibiki Morino, the famed (or infamous) interrogation expert. "Um… yes?" he queried, wondering how the other man even knew his name, let alone why he was using it to address him.

Ibiki squinted at him and Iruka felt a shiver run through his body. Even slightly drunk, the jounin was terrifying. The teacher had to bite back the urge to instantly confess every horrible thing he had ever done – including that time he had taped the third hokage's buttcheeks together while he was sleeping. He began to sweat under the intense gaze. "Hmm…" was all Ibiki finally got out.

"Uhh…"

The two shinobi stared awkwardly at each other. "I feel like I heard something about you today…" Ibiki finally supplied. "Something big…" He looked off, confused, trying to recall the tidbit of information.

The sensei cringed. God, how many people had the rumor gone through to make it all the way back to a top-level jounin like Ibiki who wasn't even close to Iruka's circle of acquaintances? He turned away, embarrassed, praying that the other man wouldn't be able to locate the memory in his intoxicated state. "Don't doubt it…" he grumbled under his breath, not intending for the other to hear, but Ibiki leaned forward at that.

"Ohhh? Is it something bad?"

"Uh…"

"Wait… aren't you a teacher?"

"Um… yes?" Iruka squeaked, wondering if that was a trick question. Wait, had he given the correct answer? Shit!

"Huh…" Ibiki took a swig from his glass. "Must be bad then, if you're drinking on a school night…" Iruka shut his eyes tightly in an impending headache. Oh good, just in case a parent _didn't_ show up, he would get his dose of guilt and shame anyway… "So… What was it…?" he half-asked Iruka and half-asked himself as he scrunched up his face in concentration again.

"Nothing!" Iruka spat hurriedly. The bartender finally slid his drink in front of him. He quickly pulled out some money and threw it down, trying to escape while Ibiki was still distracted with his thoughts.

But, it seemed that by this point, the interrogation instincts were on automatically, drunk or not, and the scarred jounin wasn't about to let his "victim" get away. "Sit down, tell me about it." He snatched Iruka's sleeve and pulled him effortlessly into the stool next to him. The chuunin halted for a second, but eventually resigned himself to having no other choice but to sit as Ibiki didn't seem to want to let go.

He sighed and scooted onto the stool.

"Hey, barkeep! Another round – one for my friend here, too."

"Oh, no," Iruka stuttered. "I already have – "

"Nonsense." The words weren't threatening or even cold or brusque, but the chuunin instantly snapped his mouth shut at the commanding presence. "So… what were we talking about?" Ibiki stared at his own glass a second, before shooting his gaze back to the sensei. "Oh yeah – what's going on with you... Iruka Umino?"

Iruka heaved a weary sigh and swirled his glass. "It's a long story."

"I've got time," the gruff voice insisted.

Another glass was set in front of his already full one. Iruka made a small noise of distress. It was gonna be a long night…

* * *

And yes, that's unfortunately where it must end for now. This chapter's hella long, plus I wanna get it up since it's been sitting here half-finished for a few weeks now.

Next chapter will be Ibiki's kiss and events leading up to the social, and we find out what the hell ever happened to Gai. In my first draft of this, I said that the social would also be next chapter, but that's gonna be damn near impossible, since the social will probably be the longest chapter of this fic (even longer than this one) because I have so many plans for it! So things will really start to get crazy, then come together, and start to wrap up a little bit in 2 more chapters!

Also, a quick question: I'm seriously contemplating going back and re-doing parts of chapter 5 so the Genma/Iruka part is more smutty, and then making the Ibiki/Iruka part semi-smutty. Nothing too serious, but a little bit more action. However, I know Iruka/Other-pairings isn't why people are reading this story, so I don't want to ruin the Kakashi/Iruka goodness by making some of the other kisses more action-packed. So I'll put it to a vote: if you wouldn't mind a couple other kisses being more smutty, or if you would prefer the smut action stay strictly between Iruka and Kakashi. Thanks for your input!

Thank you all so much for all the reviews and insistent encouragement!

**DixieGoddess**


	12. Chapter 12

Yes, by all the grace of the gods, I am being fairly good in continuing to update this story! I know it's taking awhile longer than some of my other stories, but I'm being a lot pickier about this one than some of the other stuff I'm writing, since this is kind of my pride and joy fanfic baby. I promise that I do write at least a little bit of the newest chapter for this fic at least every couple of days.

It doesn't help that about every 2-3 days, a new story idea pops into my head. It's madness! I just can't possibly write fast enough to keep up with my brain. Unfair… *sniffle*

Anyway, thank you so much for the reviews and encouragement! I especially like hearing what people really like about the story, and even what they don't like. Thank you to Mizzytron for the constructive criticism on Kakashi's character. I've actually gone back and revised his interactions with Iruka a little in chapter 11 to keep him more in character in this story. I think Kakashi's a little difficult for me since, when I started writing this story, I only had a very basic idea of the Naruto world and Kakashi's character. Now, years later, I have a very different idea of his quirkiness and social awkwardness, but these ideas don't fit with the Kakashi-character I've written previously. But I don't want to go back and change Kakashi's character entirely, since I _do _like the way I've written him previously. Just, ugh, he's a complicated bastard lol I appreciate it being pointed out when I step out of his character for this story too much, so thank you.

And I have read and taken into consideration all thoughts pertaining to the smut aspect and have decided to just continue with the not-so-smuttiness that I already established. Thanks so much, everybody!

* * *

It was close to two in the morning by the time Iruka staggered out of the bar. For all the alcohol that Ibiki had practically forced upon him, he was surprisingly still relatively sober.

He promptly tripped on a blade of grass and landed in the dirt.

Ok, maybe he needed to rethink that statement.

The teacher's head spun wildly as a strong hand gripped his arm and hoisted him back to his feet joltingly. He practically fell back into Ibiki but caught himself at the last moment. "Somebody cast an earth jutsu and made the ground move," he mumbled defensively.

"Yeah, that happens," the jounin retorted, and Iruka couldn't tell if he was drunk enough to be agreeing with him or if he was making fun of him.

He decided it didn't matter and clutched at his head. "I need to go home."

"I'll walk you."

Iruka shook his head. "You have to go the other way."

"How do you know?"

"Daaah…" The chuunin frowned, realizing that he actually had no clue where Ibiki lived.

The interrogation expert slung an arm around his shoulders, starting to walk them both away from the bar. "It's dangerous out here," he slurred. "I can't let you walk home alone."

"But then you'll have to walk home alone," Iruka protested.

"Well, then, we'll just have to walk each other home."

Iruka scrunched up his face. "Wait… what?"

"What?"

The teacher burst into insane giggles. "That doesn't make any sense!"

Ibiki started guffawing too, their drunken laughter cutting through the still night air.

Iruka suddenly skidded to a halt, making them both stumble. "Wait… wait… my house is the other way…"

"Oh…" The jounin turned them around, still clinging to the other man's shoulders, making them both trip over each other. Iruka snorted, and they started laughing again.

The half-drunk chuunin allowed himself to be escorted home by Ibiki, steering them in the right direction whenever the confused jounin would start wandering the wrong way. Never in his life would Iruka have thought that he would not only have a halfway pleasant conversation with the scary, infamous head of T&I, but that the other man would be kind enough to want to walk him home.

Iruka briefly thought that, had he been more sober, he would have been insulted that the jounin apparently didn't think he – a chuunin – could make it through the "dangerous" streets of Hidden Leaf alone. But he placated himself with the thought that had _Ibiki _been more sober, he probably wouldn't have felt such a protective desire in the first place. So the teacher let it be.

His dazed mind thought back on their little talk. It had been more drinking than talking. The interrogator wasn't particularly chatty. Though he had been more than persistent in trying to get Iruka to open up and tell him his woes. He wondered if Ibiki always did this to someone when he drank or if there was just something about Iruka that inspired him to exhibit such strong curiosity.

It hadn't taken much of Iruka's mutterings and stumbling over his explanations for Ibiki to remember that the rumor he had heard was about the schoolteacher and Kakashi. The chuunin had blushed hotly and vehemently denied that the rumors were true. But the jounin hadn't let him off so easily…

_Ibiki stared down the teacher. "But did he ask you to the dance?"_

_Iruka swirled his drink. "Well, yeah, but…"_

"_Then he likes you." The scarred man took one big swig and waved for another one as he set the empty glass down._

_The chuunin shook his head slowly. "No… I'm sure he was just joking around. He likes teasing me…"_

_Ibiki snorted. "Kakashi likes to pretend he's all about that 'underneath the underneath' crap, but he's really pretty damn straightforward and easy to read." Iruka blinked at him. "If he's acting like he likes you, then he likes you."_

_The chuunin didn't respond, but he still didn't believe the other man. There was no way… Before he had ever kissed Kakashi, the copy-ninja had shown zero interest in being anything other than a nuisance. You didn't go from annoying jackass to amorous lover for no reason. There was just simply no explanation for the strange behavior besides hormones and the desire to mess with him. He just couldn't believe otherwise…_

_He heaved a huge sigh, pounding back his own drink. "I hate men," he grumbled as the various males he had had to deal with since getting this mission flashed through his head. Raidou had been the only one who hadn't made his life harder._

_Ibiki's booming laughter rang through the air. "Women aren't much better," he groused, a sour look coming over his face._

_Iruka wanted to ask but thought better of it. So they had proceeded to spend the rest of the time sporadically ranting generalities about 'bitches' and all that dating nonsense. By the end of it, the chuunin wasn't even sure if Ibiki actually remembered his problem… which was so much the better. He had probably already revealed too much to someone who was also on his mission list. He didn't want to drunkenly get carried away and spill the whole story, effectively ruining his mission secrecy and any chance of getting Ibiki into __**his **__kiss._

Said jounin stumbled horrendously as he tried to walk Iruka up his porch steps. The brunette cringed and struggled not to collapse them both as Ibiki's entire weight settled across his shoulders. He frowned and shook the other man as much as he could. "Come on, you still have to move your legs," he grumbled. "We're almost there."

Ibiki grunted in irritation. "This isn't my house," he mumbled as he lifted his head to try to focus on the front door.

Iruka laughed shortly, trying to reign in his drunkenness as it was clear the other man was far more gone than he was. "No, it's my house. You walked me home, remember?"

Ibiki shuffled and managed to stand again – but just barely. Iruka valiantly tried to get his keys out of his pocket while still holding the inebriated jounin up with his other hand. "I need to go home." The scarred man tried to pull away to leave, but tripped again and Iruka grabbed at him.

"No you don't. You can't make it home in this condition. You'll crash here."

Ibiki leaned back against him, head lolling. "Ok."

Iruka raised an eyebrow. He hadn't been expecting it to be that easy. Not that he would have been able to do anything about it if the jounin put up a fight. Even intoxicated, the chuunin was sure that Ibiki would be a formidable opponent, if only because he was so much larger and physically stronger than the teacher. He chuckled inwardly at his relatively good luck and wondered how embarrassed Ibiki would be in the morning if he remembered anything of his drunken compliance.

"Alright, let's go," he coaxed as he finally got the door open.

The duo lurched through the door gracelessly, but Iruka managed to keep them from face-planting in his entryway. He toed off his own sandals, and Ibiki tried to do the same but was having a rather difficult time of it. "Damn shoes," he grumbled, mostly to himself.

Iruka started leading him down the hallway. "Don't worry about it."

Ibiki tripped as he continued trying to get his footwear off even as the chuunin was dragging him along. "But I need to get them off."

"Don't worry about it," Iruka insisted.

"But I don't want to dirty your lovely floor."

Iruka couldn't hold back a snort. "It's really ok."

"I insist you send me a bill for the cleaning."

The teacher continued smiling at the other man's antics as he shifted to drop him onto his bed. "Yeah, I'll do that."

Ibiki plopped onto the mattress, finally letting go of the tan chuunin. He leaned his head back and gazed hazily at Iruka as the other man started setting up the pillows and pulling back the blankets. He figured it was only polite to let the jounin have the bed. The other man was far too tall to fit comfortably on his couch. Iruka could barely sleep on it without back problems. But he could last one night for the sake of being a good host. "You know, sensei…" Iruka paused and looked at him. "You're really ok."

The chuunin smiled softly, figuring that that was probably pretty high praise coming from someone as stoic as Ibiki. "Thanks."

"And you _are_ really cute." Iruka blushed, coughing and turning away. "I'm serious!" the jounin insisted. "You have nothing to worry about on your 'dating' issues."

The teacher turned back to the scarred man, locking gazes with the eyes that managed to hold their owner's intensity even through the alcoholic fog. He swallowed thickly. If he leaned just a little bit closer… It would be easy, right? Ibiki was drunk. He might not even remember the kiss! And then that would be one more name crossed off Iruka's list, and he wouldn't even have to deal with the embarrassing fallout afterward. When would he get this opportunity again?

His lips parted and he craned his neck a little closer… Ibiki wasn't moving out of the way…

He stalled and closed his eyes, his still-not-sober head rushing painfully. Could he really do it? He may have 'stolen' all his other kisses, but something about this situation just didn't seem right… At least the other men had had the opportunity to pull away or fight back if they wanted to. Could he really just take advantage of someone with little to no mental clarity left?

He never got to find out how far his conscience stretched, however, as he suddenly felt a strong tug at his collar and was pitching forward on lost balance before he could register what was happening. His tipsy mind struggled to keep up and process his current predicament.

He was in a lap. There were large arms around him. And he couldn't breathe out of his mouth because there was another mouth attached to his. The strong taste of alcohol seared through the cracks in his lips. Iruka's eyes widened as all things suddenly added up to equal _Ibiki _kissing _him_.

The jounin's lips were slightly sloppy against his own, though still firm and demanding, even through the liquor-induced clumsiness. Iruka tried for a second to pull away, but an insistent and solid hand grabbed for the back of his head, making sure the teacher couldn't escape the embrace. Ibiki darted his tongue past the tan man's lips, and Iruka shuddered with embarrassment as he heard himself _moan_. The man underneath him shifted and ground up into him. Iruka jumped at the sensation, and in that split second, regained his senses and grabbed the hand off his head and pulled away harshly. He didn't have time to get back to his standing position and simply sprawled backward onto his butt at the jounin's feet.

He panted heavily, a bright blush staining his cheeks. He scrambled to his feet again, a little wobbly. "Ibiki… I…" he avoided the intense man's gaze, not sure what to do, but startled as a deep rumbling chuckle came out of the interrogation expert.

Ibiki sighed, not looking at all embarrassed or flustered like Iruka. "Sorry, sensei," He grunted. "Got carried away."

"It… it's ok," Iruka stuttered.

Ibiki let out another low laugh and collapsed onto his side, snuggling into the pillows. "Won't happen again… wouldn't wanna piss off Kakashi, after all…"

Iruka felt his stomach lurch at the mention of the silver-haired jounin. He almost stammered out another denial that the copy-nin was interested in him, but his words got stuck in his throat, and he realized that Ibiki wasn't listening to him anymore anyway. He was out cold.

The chuunin shook his head, pulling out his hair tie and threading a hand through his loose locks in frustration. He sighed as the inevitable headache started to creep up on him and pulled a blanket over the prone jounin. He needed to get to bed himself. He still had mini-ninjas to teach in the morning.

* * *

Sakura found herself, for the second day in a row, awoken at an ungodly hour. However, this time was not by a little nin-dog gruffly woofing in her ear, but by an extremely loud, blonde menace bursting through her window, screaming for her to wake up. Which almost instantly turned into screams of horror as Sakura's face appeared from under the covers, slathered in white face cream, her hair up in curlers. "OH MY GOD, SAKURA, YOUR HOUSE IS HAUNTED!" The pink-haired girl was promptly punched directly in the face.

Sasuke, who had been woken up earlier and followed along behind his stupidest acquaintance, appeared in the window right as the kunoichi of the team was being pitched back into her dresser. His eyes widened in horror, and he instantly turned back around and jumped away. No way in hell was he going to stick around to witness Naruto being violently killed by the "angry spirit" – aka: Sakura…

"NARUTO – YOU _**IDIOT!**_"

Approximately five minutes later, the Uchiha reappeared tentatively to find Naruto only semi-conscious on the floor of the bedroom and Sakura pulling out her last curler, looking like her usual, beautiful self, as though one of her comrades wasn't half-dead at her feet. She whirled on her raven-haired teammate. Even her longtime crush couldn't snap her out of her early morning funk entirely, and she narrowed her gaze on him. "Now, what is this about, Sasuke?"

Sasuke sighed lowly. "This moron wants to go talk to Kakashi-sensei."

Sakura put her hands on her hips. "Why?" she shot crossly.

Naruto was finally starting to peel himself off the floor. "Because…" he coughed weakly, trying to gain his senses back. "When was the last time we had real training?"

Sakura blinked, slightly taken aback, and Sasuke crossed his arms. "He's right, you know," he uttered lowly. "This is getting ridiculous."

The kunoichi lowered her head, suddenly looking shy and nervous. "Guys… I really don't think we should bother Kakashi-sensei right now…"

Both boys peered at her owlishly. Since when was their spit-fire female teammate so concerned about taking it easy on people? "Why not?" Naruto queried.

Sakura blushed lightly. "I just… he obviously has a lot going on right now…"

Naruto crossed his arms and huffed, annoyed. "Whatever! We're his students! We're supposed to be his number one priority! I say we go over to his place and remind him of that and make him get up and train us _now_!"

The pink-haired girl snapped an irate gaze back to him. "No!" she shouted, gaining her vitality back.

The kyuubi-holder squinted at her suspiciously. "What do you know about what's going on?"

"Nothing!"

"Bullshit!"

"Don't swear at me, you asshole!"

"Tell us what you know!"

"NO!" Both boys stared at her. She gaped a second, then blushed hotly. "I mean, I don't know anything!"

"Tell us!"

"Shut up! And get out of my room!"

The blonde got right up in her face, studying her with an eerie amount of intensity for the usually daft boy. She glared back defiantly, but her features were starting to waver. "Is this still about Iruka-sensei?" he demanded with a creepy calmness.

Sasuke blinked. "Iruka-sensei?"

Sakura's mouth fell open and Naruto pointed accusingly in her face. "A-ha! I knew it! Damn Kakashi-sensei!"

The girl pushed the hand out of her face. "What do you know about it!?"

Naruto crossed his arms. "I told that bastard yesterday to fix things!"

"What things?" Sakura asked carefully, not sure how much the other two knew.

Naruto huffed, looking thoroughly agitated. "I don't know!" he cried, frustrated. "But something is going on with them, and I told that jerk to fix it!"

Sakura felt herself suddenly get very defensive on their teacher's behalf. "Don't call him a jerk, Naruto! Maybe he's _trying_. Maybe it's Iruka-sensei who isn't listening!"

Naruto gaped at her. "What_ever_! There's no way this is Iruka-sensei's fault!"

"You don't know that!"

"Are you serious!?"

Sakura turned away. "I'm not saying it's his _fault_, just that maybe he's being more difficult than you think he is."

Naruto growled. "Arrrgh! What do _you_ think, Sasuke!?"

Both of the gregarious teammates whirled on the dark-haired boy who had been quiet the whole time. His face retained its usual stoic mask. He glanced between his two irate friends. Neither were prepared for what was about to come out of his mouth.

"I think we should go talk to Iruka-sensei."

* * *

Iruka blinked his tired and dry eyes open as the first rays of morning sunlight streamed through his living room window. He hadn't remembered to set an alarm, but he didn't really need one when he was twisted into an uncomfortable pretzel on the couch and his head was still pounding. He was surprised he had gotten any sleep at all.

Wandering into the bathroom, he passed his still closed bedroom door on the way. Apparently Ibiki hadn't risen yet. As he went about his morning routine, he debated silently as to whether he should wake the other man or just let him sleep it off and extract himself on his own whenever he woke up and pieced things together. He was a jounin and an ally after all. Even though he had been thoroughly out of it last night, he should be able to remember enough to figure out his whereabouts quickly, and it's not like Iruka couldn't trust him to be in his house alone. The chuunin was a schoolteacher… it's not like he had sensitive information lying around… except maybe his most recent mission scroll.

The sensei blushed hotly as he recalled the previous evening. Would Ibiki remember? Would he blame him? His skin prickled as he remembered moaning into the interrogation expert's demanding mouth.

The brunette shook his head harshly, turning on the faucet and dousing his face. It was the alcohol. It heightened his senses, that was all. _'Didn't need alcohol to heighten your senses with Kakashi,' _a little voice sang teasingly in his head.

The tan hands hid his face and tightened painfully, almost cutting off his breath. Ibiki's words floated back to him. _**'If he's acting like he likes you, he likes you.'**_

'_Baah!' _With one final shake of his head, Iruka strode out of the bathroom. His head already hurt too much to deal with this at this hour of the morning.

He made his way to the bedroom, determining that he needed fresh clothes from there anyway. He was currently wandering around shirtless and in his boxers, having been unable to stand the sweaty, drunken smell of his old uniform enough to sleep in it. He decided to try to sneak in and out without disturbing the jounin, but if Ibiki woke up, so be it. He would just play it cool.

The teacher made it in to find the other man still snoozing, wrapped up in the blankets. He had to smile at the fact that he never before would have imagined the scary scarred man could look kinda _cute _when he was sleeping.

He managed to gather clean clothes without the jounin rousing and was just about to slip back out and congratulate himself on being able to sneak around such a high-level shinobi when his Teacher Senses went off and he felt a very distinct chakra approaching his bedroom window - fast.

The scene seemed to play out in slow-motion as the blonde threw open the window and burst through, screaming for Iruka-sensei… The jounin in the bed instantly sprang to life… A barrage of shuriken pinned the orange jumpsuit to the wall… Naruto shrieked in panic… Iruka's eyes widened as Ibiki, on reflex turned to the other "target" in the room – him, and he barely dodged the next wave of shuriken meant for him, falling on his butt spectacularly in the process…

The world went still for a moment. The two older ninja stared at each other, Ibiki slowly coming back to reality. He half-kneeled on the chuunin's bed still, and blinked down at the mostly-naked sensei. Iruka's hand was frozen in a placating manner to stop any more attacks. Naruto stopped struggling against his shuriken bonds to focus on what was happening.

"Uh…"

_Squeak!_

Iruka's head shot to the open window where Sasuke and Sakura had just appeared as well. The Uchiha looked as mortified as an Uchiha possibly can, and Sakura's face was almost the color of a tomato.

The brunette felt his own face heat up to give hers a run for the money.

Iruka. Wanted. To. _Die_.

* * *

Tenten narrowed her eyes at her sensei and she could feel her other teammate checking things out with his Byakugan. So they had a same suspicions… something was wrong with their teacher.

Well, ok, something was _inherently _wrong with Gai-sensei. They all _knew _that. The guy fluttered around in green spandex all the time and was _way _too interested in youth. Not that they didn't trust him or anything… it was just creepy. Despite getting used to his oddness over the past couple years, the students could still tell when something was up with their jounin instructor.

Normally, Gai-sensei would have given them all a speech about how a week-long mission was a fabulous opportunity and test of endurance, before racing off into the sunset, Lee following closely behind. But he had seemed rather… put-out when his team had tracked him down to inform him that they were needed for a mission. In fact, he had been difficult to track down in the first place.

He had tried to stall a few times, and even attempted to sneak away once as they were making their way to the gates. Only Lee starting to cry because he was convinced that Gai-sensei clearly hated _him_ made Gai start to cry as well and hug Lee tightly and proclaim that he would never leave him.

As disturbing as that scene had been, at least it had been "normal" in terms of Gai. But their teacher had almost been… _sulking_ since they started this mission. Tenten had briefly worried that Gai knew something about the danger associated with their mission that they didn't. But that wasn't likely. He never kept things from them before, and he knew they were more than capable. Even if he had been somewhat worried, he would have used it as a chance to try to inspire his students to grow their Youthful Strength.

And a look from Neji confirmed that he didn't see anything strange to indicate that the abnormally mellow person in front of them was anyone but Gai-sensei or that Gai was sick in any way.

At least Lee was now too busy being immersed in their mission to notice anything out of the ordinary. The other two didn't know if they could handle their teacher being weird _and _their exuberant teammate freaking out about it at the same time. No one needed a repeat of the tearful scene in the village while they were in the middle of trying to complete a mission in a foreign land.

Gai could feel the inquiring gazes of his students on his back, but he held back the cries of apology that were bubbling up inside him. After getting his best friend/rival to open up to him in the woods on their feigned "mission," he had been about to rush off to talk to the good academy sensei and get things straightened out with their vests. But he had been foiled by his team appearing and telling him of a _real _mission they needed to leave on immediately. Apparently they had been searching for him most of the day… oops.

But not wanting to leave his poor friend in the lurch with the misunderstandings with Iruka-sensei brewing between them, he had uncharacteristically tried to postpone their mission for a short while… he just wanted to have _five _minutes with Iruka-sensei – _ten, _at most. But Lee – his precious Lee – had started crying over thinking that he hated him and was trying to get away from _him_. It had only taken that (plus a few terse glares from his other two precious students) for him to abandon his ideas of trying to sneak away.

That didn't stop him from worrying about how poor Kakashi was managing and pouting over the fact that he hadn't been able to make things right before leaving the village for a whole week.

How was his tender, lovesick rival faring with the sweet and gentle Iruka-sensei? How was the sweet and gentle Iruka-sensei faring with the strange mission that Gai had stumbled upon in his vest pocket?

_His_ name was on that mission list… How was Iruka-sensei planning on kissing him? A light blush rose to his cheeks. How could he even go _through _with such a thing, now knowing how his noble rival felt about the brunette sensei!? How had the innocent and pure teacher of the academy gotten involved in such a scandalous mission in the first place? WHAT WAS HAPPENING TO THE YOUTH AND _INNOCENCE _OF HIS BEAUTIFUL VILLAGE!?

Manly tears prickled his eyes and he couldn't hold back a sniffle as he thought about all the injustice happening with his great friend and the noble sensei right now.

His students' eyes narrowed on his back at the sound. More sobs started to escape out his nose, and Tenten's eyes became slits and Neji started to slow down and gain distance between him and his sensei.

Even Lee eventually noticed the small noises of distress coming from his idol and gazed at his teacher worriedly. "Gai-sensei…"

Gai froze and tried to collect himself. The rest of his team stilled as well, most looking at him like he was nuts – only one with concern. But the sobs started coming faster and harder. Lee's eyes were starting to brim with tears as well, even though he had no idea what they were supposed to be upset about…

Suddenly the blue beast whirled around to his team, face full of barely-contained emotion. "MY YOUTHFUL STUDENTS!" Lee leaned forward as the others shifted backward minutely. "NEVER ALLOW YOUR INNOCENCE AND PURITY TO BE CORRUPTED! IT IS THE ONLY THING YOU CARRY WITH YOU YOUR WHOLE LIFE!"

Lee burst into sparkling tears. "GAI-SENSEI! SUCH WORDS OF WISDOM!"

The two green-clad men embraced tightly as they cried over the loss of innocence.

Tenten and Neji merely shook their heads.

* * *

Alright… wasn't originally planning to end it there, but I'm gonna. The last chapter was sooo much longer than any of the others. I let it slide since it had been so long since I updated and a long chapter seemed overdue and appropriate. But now, I'd like to get back to keeping them approximately 4,000 words or so. I _promise _next chapter will lead us into the beginning of the pre-climax (is there such a thing as the pre-climax – well, there is now lol) of the story – the crazy Shinobi Social.

I laughed my butt off while writing this chapter, so I hope you laughed a little while reading it too. Made me feel good to write a chapter like this after feeling like I stumbled a bit through chapter 11. Let me know what you think!

**DixieGoddess**


	13. Chapter 13

Wow, I'm so sorry at taking so long for this chapter! I have the main scenes for chapters here on out planned out and I'm all excited about them, and this is more of a filler chapter. So, beyond the initial beginning scene here, with the misunderstanding with Ibiki in Iruka's bedroom, I wasn't super excited about writing this. But I sat down tonight and pounded out the rest because I was really wanting to not take so long on updates.

Enjoy!

* * *

Iruka had known from the get-go that his stupid new mission was most likely going to be horribly embarrassing. And he hadn't been wrong so far. In fact, it was a little scary to admit that he was actually becoming used to the bizarre and undignified circumstances he had found himself in when coaxing, or forcing, kisses out of the various jounin on his list. As much as he _wished _for it, he knew that there was unlikely going to be any lessening to his humiliation until this mission was done and over with for good – and even then, he expected the clean-up process of time making everyone (hopefully) forget all about it to take a good while.

However, he had _not _been expecting to endure anything close to the level of mortification as having to face down three of his ex-students while in a compromising position – in his bedroom – with another man in his bed… while he was mostly naked…

The flustered teacher was still rooted to his spot on the floor, his face beet-red, and mouth opening and closing stupidly as he tried to think up anything that could _possibly _be appropriate to say in such a situation. Ibiki was, thankfully, no longer in 'attack mode,' and he seemed to be trying to figure out what exactly was going on, but his internal confusion wasn't making for productive conversation either. Sakura was now hiding her face behind her hands, though she had yet to leave her spot in the window. Sasuke's face had gone deathly white, and the Uchiha was more silent than usual, trying desperately to look anywhere but at the two higher-ranked shinobi in the room.

Naruto was still pinned to the wall, his face rushing through every possible emotion on the spectrum while he attempted to take in the scene in front of him. And for once, Iruka was glad that Naruto, no matter the circumstances, could always find a way to regroup himself quickly and destroy silence like a verbal sledgehammer. He didn't think anyone else would have had it in them to do so… In fact, the chuunin might have even placed money on the idea that the other four would have sat and stared at each other all day if not for the kyuubi-holder, because not a single one of them seemed anxious to speak.

"WHAT. THE. HELL?"

Not that it was the most _eloquent _thing ever spoken, but it broke the stiff silence enough for everyone to jolt back into some sort of action. Iruka scrambled up from his undignified position on the floor, Ibiki slowly stepped off the bed, Sakura hid around the corner, and Sasuke quickly stepped through the window and began removing the shuriken from his teammate's clothes.

Naruto was now whipping his blonde head back and forth rapidly between his ex-teacher and the interrogation expert. "What is going on in here!?" he demanded hotly. He glared and pointed an accusatory finger at Ibiki as one arm was finally free. "Are you trying to kill me!? What's your problem!?" he shrieked, apparently not caring that he was talking to the supposedly scariest man in the village.

Ibiki scowled at the loud noise, though he refrained from actually grabbing at his pounding head out of pride. He opened his mouth to tell the little loudmouth to shut up – maybe throw in a well-timed threat for good measure, as it was obvious the kid had no idea who he was dealing with – but Naruto had now whirled on Iruka, clearly not really caring about the jounin's answer.

"And why are you _naked_!?" he practically screamed, and Iruka swore that a squeal of embarrassment came from outside the window.

The teacher, if possible, blushed even brighter, and he whipped his head to the floor, snatching up the clothes he had dropped in his hasty dodging of the shuriken. He hurriedly began pulling his pants on. "I'm not _naked_!" he defended loudly, tripping slightly over a stuck pant leg. Since no one was obviously paying him any mind anymore, Ibiki grunted and took a seat on the edge of the bed tiredly. Sasuke finished unpinning the boisterous blonde from the bedroom wall as Iruka completed buttoning his pants.

The chuunin attempted to put on a stern teacher glare as he finally brought his gaze back up to look his students in the eye.

"And can I ask what on _earth _you three are doing in my bedroom this early in the morning?" he bit out sharply, trying to sound threatening.

Naruto narrowed his eyes at him probingly. "I think the better question is, what is _he _doing in your bedroom this early in the morning!" he shouted, throwing his finger in Ibiki's direction again.

The jounin grunted, hardly fazed, but Iruka's face heated up to boiling temperatures once again. "He stayed here last night! I mean – " The teacher quickly backtracked as Sasuke and Naruto's faces both took on rather nauseated expressions. "I mean, he stayed in here – _I _was on the couch. He just – he crashed here – he took the bed cuz… I just… I DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN MYSELF TO YOU!" he finally shouted, and all three other men in the room jumped. The two former students scrunched back a bit as they caught the old 'I am your damn sensei and you _will _fucking obey my authority' note in the teacher's voice.

Iruka swallowed hard, using every shinobi power he had crafted since a young age to dismiss the blush off his face and keep his features perfectly schooled into commanding anger. "_You_, however, will tell me what you think you're doing bursting into my home at the crack of dawn."

Naruto's demeanor became decidedly cowed under his former sensei's stern look and biting voice. His eyes shifted to the floor as he mumbled "uhh's" and "umm's" under his breath. Sasuke merely coughed and looked off to the side as well. Even though Kakashi was a jounin and Iruka a mere chuunin, the Uchiha still had never mastered talking back to Iruka-sensei the way that he was able to give Kakashi-sensei attitude… especially when the brunette got that look on his face.

Iruka sighed, irritated. "Sakura, get in here," he demanded loudly. A pink head slowly appeared back around the corner. The poor girl was still blushing, but she seemed to relax slightly at her old teacher at least having pants on now… The chuunin leveled her with the same strict, no-nonsense glare he had been giving the other two, and, just as he anticipated, her natural teacher-pleaser instincts instantly broke her down into an embarrassed stuttering mess of apologies.

"We-we're sorry, Iruka-sensei! We just wanted to talk to you!"

Iruka still looked annoyed, but his face softened slightly into more exasperation than rage. He startled slightly when Ibiki slapped his hands on his knees and pushed himself resolutely to his feet. The teacher's cheeks dusted pink minutely. He had almost forgotten about the interrogation specialist after going into angry teacher mode. "Well…" Ibiki coughed lightly. "I'll take this as my cue to leave. Thank you for the place to stay, sensei." Iruka bowed shortly, and with those short, gruff words, the other man was gone.

The chuunin let out a soft breath, closing his eyes. He wondered how much Ibiki actually remembered, or what he thought about anything he _did _remember… Aside from the initial startled wake-up, the jounin had kept his features perfectly blank. Even if he had let an emotion slip onto his face while Iruka was standing there lecturing his old students, the teacher wouldn't have noticed. And nothing he had said in his brief good-byes gave away anything going through his head. Iruka bit the inside of his cheek to bring himself out of his reverie. It really wouldn't do him any good to try to analyze the freakin' head of T&I – it was Ibiki's job not to give _anything _away. He'd only drive himself crazy trying to get into the head of someone like that…

So he snapped his eyes open again and trained them on the three teenagers in front of him. At least _them _he could probably get information out of. "So…" he breathed loudly, placing his hands on his hips. "Who wants to start?"

The three genin in front of him shifted uniformly in discomfort. Iruka almost felt his patience snap again, but Naruto regained himself quickly this time. "What's going on with you and Kakashi-sensei?" he demanded with determination and just a hint of bravado making its way back into his voice.

Iruka blinked, then squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose. "This _again_?" He gave a disgusted sigh. "Naruto, I told you the other day I wasn't getting into this with you. I believe I also said something of that nature to _you_ several days ago, Sakura." He shot a look at the teen girl who cast her gaze away in chastisement. "In fact, I'm pretty sure when Sasuke was here a few nights ago, scooping _you _up," he pointedly brought his stern brown eyes back to Naruto, "I told him something to the same extent."

The teacher took his time dragging his 'No-nonsense' glare across all three students, watching them all (even Sasuke) shrivel back minutely in submissiveness. "I'm not sure why you three are so very interested in me and Kakashi-sensei, but I can definitively tell you that whatever it is, it's none of your business." He stopped and studied them for a short moment, watching the emotions war on their faces. He let his intense glare soften and merely raised a curious eyebrow at them instead. "Why are you guys so concerned anyway?"

Naruto and Sakura shared a quick look before the pink-haired girl's timid voice rose over the silence of the room. "Kakashi-sensei's been acting… weird…" she offered mildly. When no on interrupted her, and she snuck a glance up at Iruka's still confused face, she cleared her throat and continued. "We've never seen him so upset, so we thought… maybe we could help fix whatever is wrong between you two." She started to blush at her personal knowledge of the situation, though she continued trying to remain cool to those who didn't know she was so intimately involved. "I mean, if there was anything we could do to help you guys… patch things up or communicate better…"

Iruka's eyes lost their sharp edge and he almost looked pained and worried. "Kakashi-sensei is… upset?" he asked softly.

Naruto caught the strange look on his self-appointed guardian's face and stepped forward as though to comfort him, though he was still well on the other side of the room. "Yeah, I mean… we're sure whatever is going on is his fault." He ignored the sideways glare from Sakura. "But, you know… I guess…" The blonde boy scratched nervously at the back of his head. "It's affecting him enough that he's been ditching our training and _normally _I'd say he was just being a lazy bastard, but…" He trailed off as the three-man squad studied Iruka's face carefully.

"We just want to know if we can help." Three pairs of eyes snapped to Sasuke in surprise. The Uchiha looked like he wanted to shuffle uncomfortably or take off after saying such kind words (even if they _were _still said in his usual gruff, uncaring tone), but the raven-haired boy made it point to lock his muscles and stay rooted to the spot, not wanting to humiliate himself further by looking like a wuss and fleeing.

Iruka seemed to finally snap out of whatever daydream he had been going through and closed his eyes tiredly. "I appreciate the concern…" He bit his tongue softly. "But Kakashi-sensei and I are… fine." The tightening feeling that he had come to associate with declarations about Kakashi engulfed his chest again. "If he's acting strange about your training, that's something you need to discuss with him or the hokage. Our issues have been resolved."

Sakura's eyes turned sorrowful, and she spun back to the open window to hide it. She knew nothing was 'fine' – at least on her jounin sensei's end. And with the way Iruka's words were catching in his throat and coming out less than assured, she had a feeling that things weren't totally resolved from his perspective either. Inner Sakura wanted to shout at her old sensei that he needed to stop being such a doofus and go talk to Kakashi-sensei again, but, not only would she never show that kind of attitude to Iruka-sensei, but Kakashi had come to her in confidence. She couldn't betray his trust and start spewing all she knew, even if it was to the instructor's crush in question. That didn't stop her thoughts from turning dark, however. "Well," she started in a clipped tone that had all three men blinking curiously at her back. "We'll leave you alone then, Iruka-sensei." She leapt out the window without so much as a polite bow or 'good day.'

Iruka stared stupidly at the spot where she had been, confused and taken aback by the normally docile girl's tone, wondering what had happened to upset her. Sasuke and Naruto stared after her, wondering the same thing. But they turned back to Iruka and nodded goodbye. "Have a good day, Iruka-sensei," Naruto called over his shoulder, before Iruka was left standing alone in his previously packed bedroom.

The chuunin slowly plodded over to the mussed up bed and sat on the edge carefully. Kakashi was really that upset? Iruka knew that he had obviously pissed him off by riling him up and then dodging his molestations. It probably wasn't every day that someone rebuffed the great copy-ninja. In fact, Iruka could probably safely bet that no one had ever turned him down or teased him in such a way before. He could definitely see how that would annoy the other man, especially coming from someone like Iruka who was not only lower-ranked but who Kakashi seemed to actively dislike…

Except when he didn't…

This whole complicated situation with Kakashi was made even more confusing by the fact that the jounin didn't seem to be able to manage any sort of uniform behavior toward the academy teacher. One minute he was putting him down in front of his colleagues, the next he was trying to make pleasant conversation… only to devolve into snarky comments that left the brunette flushing and angry… then he would try to ravish him against the nearest hard object, only to turn around and act almost shy about asking him to a social engagement. And now he was finding out from the man's genin team that Kakashi was actually falling behind in his job because of his mood about the whole thing…

Not that Kakashi was the most responsible teacher to begin with. For all Iruka, or anyone else, knew, the man was having other issues in his life or schedule and was simply skirting his teacherly duties for other reasons, which could involve anything as trivial as outright laziness. There was no proof that it was _Iruka _that was upsetting him so much. No one could come to that conclusion since Iruka couldn't even come to a conclusion as to what Kakashi was _thinking, _let alone determine how deeply it was affecting him.

The chuunin let out a long sigh and leaned his elbows on his knees, burying his head in his hands. Ibiki's words regarding Kakashi and how he generally acted how he felt, regardless of how he tried to play it off, spun around Iruka's head in a frenzy. He tried to listen to them, as Ibiki had probably had a lot more contact with the copy-nin than he had, but that didn't really help him if Kakashi's actions were so schizophrenic, one couldn't pin down a concrete behavior or attitude in the first place.

Iruka might have dwelled on the puzzle longer if a quick glance at his bedside clock didn't have him cursing under his breath and snatching up the rest of his clothes as he realized he was dangerously close to being late for classes… again.

* * *

Ibiki's head pounded as he made his way across town back to his own apartment. He only vaguely remembered leaving the bar the previous night, and remembered even less of arriving at the chuunin sensei's house and making the decision to stay there. Though there was one particular scene that was trying to make its way through his foggy memories, but it seemed so absurd he wasn't quite ready to believe that it was real and not just a strange, drunken dream…

His thoughts were interrupted and his head throbbed even worse as he reached his apartment building and was making his way down the hall to his own abode. "IBIIKI!" echoed off the walls of the narrow hallways and the harsh pounding on wood that accompanied the shouts was just as loud. The interrogation expert gritted his teeth as he could only imagine the complaints he'd be getting on his door later (none of his neighbors were ever brave enough to complain to his face – that didn't make their stupid anonymous, passive-aggressive notes any less irritating). "IBIKIIII! OPEN UP!"

The jounin whipped around the corner finally, eyes narrowing. "ANKO!" The kunoichi in question jumped and spun away from her intense assault on the apartment door. She blinked innocently at him, confused. He wandered up to her slowly, wanting to run up and smack her upside the head, but not wanting to show her just how much her antics were affecting him… He also had no desire to start an impromptu sparring match with the insane female shinobi who would no doubt take any sort of physical violence as an invitation to retaliate. So he stuck with detached annoyance instead. "What the hell are you doing?" he growled.

Anko looked between him and the door a few times before answering. "I came to walk with you to work."

"We didn't discuss walking to work together today, Anko."

Anko shrugged. "What? I need an invitation?"

"It would be nice if you didn't just show up unannounced, yes."

Anko snorted. "Really? I need to make an appointment? Do I make this appointment through you or do I need to go through the hokage herself?"

Ibiki ignored her sarcastic tone and brushed past her to unlock his door.

"Wait a minute…" Anko was staring at him with wide eyes, it finally clicking that the older man was just getting home and hadn't been in his apartment the entire time she had been causing a ruckus out in the hallway. "Where are you coming from?"

"I don't know what's going on in your head that you think that would ever be any of your business."

"Hold on, hold on." A wicked grin was spreading across her already slightly insane features. "Are you doing a walk of shame right now?"

Ibiki popped open his door. "Good god – "

"Holy shit, you are!"

"Goodbye, Anko."

"Oh my god! And this entire time I thought you were a eunuch or something!"

"What!?" Ibiki froze and snapped his head back to stare at her angrily.

Anko continued grinning a big Cheshire cat grin at him. "You're just always so stoic and detached – "

"You work in T&I with me, Anko. You _know _it's my job to be that way."

"Well, yeah, but I just found it weird that you never let loose even a little and took care of your 'baser' needs outside of work."

Ibiki held back a disgusted groan and turned back around. "I'll see you at work."

"Who is it!?"

But the inquisitive kunoichi was answered by having the wooden door slammed in her face.

* * *

Iruka arrived to class right on time. It left him a bit flustered as he was accustomed to arriving early and getting things set up well before his students started filing in, but at least he was on time. He didn't know how many hits his credibility could take in the course of a week before his class just up and revolted against him and tried to take over the school.

Having spent the previous day going over tedious lectures, even he was ready to let everyone outside for some actual field practice. The class cheered uproariously and stampeded out the door before he could actually tell them what exactly they were going to be practicing, and Iruka sighed through his nose, marching out the door behind them.

When they reached the kunai training fields, he spent a good 15 minutes trying to coral everyone into straight lines. It was another 10 before he could get his entire safety lecture out of the way without having to stop and confiscate various training kunai that were being flung without permission. Once he was satisfied that the troublemakers were deprived of weapons, and everyone was listening raptly, he stepped forward to demonstrate the formation he wanted them to throw in. He was slightly put off when he reached for the dulled training kunai he always kept in his inside vest pocket and pulled out a smoke bomb instead. Then he remembered that he _still _didn't have his own vest… So he regrouped quickly and pulled real kunai out of his pouch and demonstrated with those, with strict instructions that they were for demonstrations purposes only and even those students who possessed real kunai were NOT allowed to use them during this exercise.

Iruka stepped back and leaned against a tree, letting his mind wander a bit as his class fell into a fairly good rhythm of practice shots. Not having Naruto in his class anymore meant he didn't have to monitor the throwing of weapons _quite _as closely as he used to. Konohamaru might have been a bit of a show-off, but at least his aim was better than Naruto's had been, even if he was still a bit of a brazen klutz.

The chuunin ran his fingers over the vest he was currently wearing, hands diving into various pockets, looking for any sort of clue as to who the owner could be. It wasn't Kakashi's, that much he was certain of. Kakashi had to have his own vest back by now, if only because Iruka had yet to have him come knocking, demanding an explanation about the mission scroll, and also because he hadn't heard anything about a deranged jounin with silver hair tearing around the village on a murderous rampage, looking for a missing Icha Icha Paradise book. But if Kakashi was back in possession of his own vest and Iruka didn't have _his_ vest back, whose vest _did _he have and who had his?

The wheels in his head turned rapidly, trying to recall the details of the day he had lost it. He blushed hotly to himself as he realized he had been so distracted by – ahem – _other _activities and thoughts, he hadn't been paying proper attention to his surroundings like a good shinobi. The brown eyes closed as he dug deeper into his memory – it all had to be there, whether he knew it or not. He just had to focus…

He had come to the lake, and Kakashi was swimming… why was he swimming? He was _with _someone. Who would he go swimming with?

The tally sheet he had found… Kakashi and… _Me_… who was me? What were they keeping track of?

Iruka's forehead scrunched in concentration. He felt like he was missing something _so _obvious – like the answer was on the brink of bashing him upside the head and screaming "DUH!" But it just… wasn't…

_"Why do you have two vests?" _

_"It's just a spare vest."_

_"Why are you carrying around a spare vest in the middle of the night?"_

Iruka's eyes flew open as he, of course, mentally smacked himself. _'Gai-sensei! Duh!'_

Then the sensei's eyebrows knit together in confusion and worry. It had been several days since the incident. Surely, Gai had noticed something amiss about the vest he now had in his possession. _'And found the mission scroll… __**And **__realized who it belonged to…' _Iruka gulped. Why else would he have shown up at Iruka's window late at night holding an extra vest? _'But… wait… They had a mission… Maybe…' _

Maybe it _wasn't _Gai's? Maybe that was coincidence. After all, Gai _could _be a little weird – It wasn't like it was outside the realm of possibility for him to just be carrying around a spare vest like he had claimed. But who else would be the owner of the vest Iruka was currently wearing…? No, it _had _to be him… But why hadn't he come back to confront the teacher since then?

'_Oh __**shit**__.'_ A thought slammed into Iruka's already pounding head, making him feel nauseated. Gai was Kakashi's friend – his _best _friend. If he had figured out what was going on… wouldn't he tell Kakashi? Iruka needed to find the taijutsu master _now_.

"Class, we're breaking for early lunch! Get back to the academy!" A chorus of groans went through the crowd of pumped-up children. "If I come back and you're all being _well-behaved, _we will resume kunai practice after lunch. If _not_, you will be writing an essay."

Amid a few more grumbles, his students seemed to get the hint and started trekking back inside. Satisfied, Iruka sprang off.

* * *

But he couldn't find Gai anywhere. He didn't know where the jounin lived, but he doubted he was at home anyway. So he checked the training fields, but didn't find him. That didn't mean much though, since Gai's 'training' methods were so obscure, he often ditched the traditional training grounds in favor of making up unique exercises all over town… This could take forever…

So in lieu of trying to directly track down the green-clad man, Iruka decided it might be more effective to find the rest of Team 9 and ask about their sensei's whereabouts. But that proved fruitless too…

However, in the course of his frantic search, he happened upon Team 8 bickering amongst themselves without their sensei around. Deciding that he was running out of time before he'd be forced to go back to the academy and make sure his class hadn't burned the building down in his absence, Iruka appeared in front of them, effectively scaring the crap out of the three genin, and Kiba and Shino parted from arguing while Hinata blushed hotly. "Ah, Iruka-sensei!" Kiba looked like he was terrified of being yelled at. "We were just on our way to training. Kurenai-sensei said she'd be late today so it's not like we're dawdling or anything - !"

Iruka ignored the boy's poor excuse, determining that he would inform Kurenai of the reason for their tardiness later, and turned to lock his gaze on Hinata. "Hinata."

The poor girl practically jumped out of her skin at being addressed directly. "Y-yes, Iruka-sensei?" she squeaked out.

"Do you know where Neji and his team are training today?"

Hinata blinked, not having expected the question, but she quickly recovered and shook her head hurriedly. "No, Iruka-sensei. Neji isn't in the village."

Iruka felt his heart sink.

"All of Team 9 is on a mission right now."

Iruka ran a weary hand over his face. "I see…"

"If it helps, they're due back on Saturday," the young girl offered timidly, obviously distressed at not being of help to her former teacher.

Iruka finally smiled down at her. "Thank you, Hinata." He raked his gaze over the entire genin squad. "You guys should be on your way."

"Yes, Iruka-senei!" rang out in chorus, and the kids scampered away.

Well… on the one hand, Gai wouldn't be blowing his cover any time soon… But on the other… he now had almost a whole week ahead of him to worry about what would happen when the jounin returned…

* * *

Kakashi shoved his hands in his pockets and turned a tired eye up to the sky. He had been wallowing in front of the memorial stone for almost 3 hours and it was, quite honestly, getting tiresome. He had no _real _desire to go train his team, but he had even less of a desire to go home and sulk some more.

He felt pathetic enough as it was that he had gotten so tangled up in an emotional roller coaster with Iruka. He felt even more pathetic that he had _had _the chuunin right at his fingertips and somehow managed to fuck it up. He didn't know if it was because he had pushed him too fast physically, or if he was too socially awkward for the teacher to handle, or if Genma was just super smooth and managed to sweep him off his feet right from under Kakashi's genius nose, but clearly something had changed Iruka's mind since their initial kiss. And, short of bursting into the younger man's home (again) and demanding a run-down of his reasons, the jounin had realized that he'd never actually know _why_. And dwelling on it was just making him crazy and feel even _more _pathetic that he was having such a strong reaction to some stupid little crush.

His heart tried to argue that his crush was far from little, but his logical brain was trying its hardest to beat it back into submission. He was freakin' Sharingan Kakashi, for crying out loud! He could kill a man 18 different ways just using a pinecone. It was _not _a big deal if some chuunin schoolteacher didn't want to be his boyfriend…

Really.

Honestly.

It _wasn't_.

Or so he had been trying to convince his old team for the past few hours… It really had to be sign of something if you needed multiple hours to argue with dead people…

Shaking his wild silver hair resolutely, the jounin wandered off to meet his team. He popped into the clearing with his normal, curved eye smile and spouted off his most recent lame reason for being late. He pretended not to notice the very strange fact that his students looked shocked to death to even _see _him, and the even stranger fact that not a single one of them called him liar or said a word about his stupid excuse… He also purposely ignored Sakura's sad glances and the two boys' concerned and concentrated studying of him. And he ordered them to their next job, and fell back into his same ol' same ol' routine, trying to push the brunette sensei out of his mind with the sweet, lulling comfort of familiarity.

* * *

The rest of the week passed by surprisingly quickly for Iruka. Now knowing where his vest was, and knowing that he could do nothing to get it back for awhile, had actually taken that burden off his shoulders, and the thought of where his mission scroll could be floating around, waiting to fall into the wrong hands, was no longer weighing on his mind. Ibiki hadn't come back to beat the snot out of him, so he figured the older man didn't remember their 'intimate' interaction, and so much the better…

Genma hadn't worked with him all week and seemed to be avoiding him for the most part. Not that that made Iruka _happy_, since he considered Genma a friend, but at least he didn't have to deal with the weird stares or awkward chit-chat that was sure to accompany his rejection of the special jounin's invitation to the social after his already-weird reaction to their kiss. And Kakashi…

Well, as far as he knew, Kakashi was back to living a perfectly normal existence. He hadn't seen him around at all, but he had run into Naruto the next evening and been told that the boy's jounin sensei was back to training them just as hard and giving them just as obnoxious missions as he had before. Unfortunately, though, the rumors about him and Kakashi hadn't quite died down yet… Kotetsu could sure get through a lot of people when he got ahold of really good gossip. And what was juicier gossip than who the famous Kakashi Hatake had their eye on?

Iruka had dodged subtle (and some not-so-subtle) questions and comments throughout the week, but he had no idea how Kakashi was faring on his end. He actually wondered if anyone had the guts to go ask Kakashi himself about it. Either way, the copy-nin hadn't shown up to him again to discuss it.

He got off his shift in the mission room on Saturday, not having seen or heard anything of Team Gai's return yet. Which was disappointing, but there was really nothing he could do at that point, except go home and get ready for the dance.

The teacher 'hmm-ed' in mild distress and chewed on his lower lip. He was a little embarrassed to admit that he was worried about his looks. He never really gave much thought to them, but 90% of the reason for that was because he generally wore the same standard shinobi wear day after day. He didn't own a whole lot of civilian clothes, and he felt a little weird when he looked in the mirror while donning them. He had chosen plain black slacks and a deep red, button-up shirt. It wasn't the most elegant of outfits, but he still felt like he was far too dressed up.

But he supposed that in the context of going to a dance, it was probably good to be looking a little fancy. At least, he hoped so. He really had no clue as to what proper dance protocol was. Being a teacher since only a short time after being promoted to chuunin, he hadn't been on a lot of out of village missions, especially missions that required immersion in social life and functions. And Hidden Leaf didn't really put forth the effort for such things… until Tsunade had gotten bored and decided she was going to make up excuses to drink…

The last time he had been to a 'dance' was when he was 11 and the academy had decided to hold a holiday dance for the students. Of course, his dumb, prankster ass had ruined it for everyone by justuing all the mistletoe in the room into trapping people underneath it and not releasing them until they kissed. That didn't go over tremendously well with a group of pre-teens, half of whom still looked at the opposite sex as though they had cooties, and the other half who were going through so many hormones that their disposition rivaled Jiraiya's. This caused a lot of perverted kids trapping unsuspecting classmates under the mistletoe and basically traumatizing them, leading to lots of tears and lots of confused teachers wondering why these children were just standing under mistletoe if they didn't to be kissed – until his homeroom teacher and the hokage himself got stuck under one such branch and couldn't move until they pecked.

Iruka had been suspended for a week, and the academy had since push a kibosh on any school functions that had any sort of 'romantic' undertone s – such as dances.

Man, he used to be such a little asshole…

Iruka's face heated up and he almost laughed in a crazed manner as he thought about his plans for the night. Here he was, planning to go to a dance with a colleague, with the end goal being to 'trap' said colleague into a kiss.

He startled slightly and took a few deep breaths to calm himself when he heard the knock at the door that signaled the arrival of his 'date.'

History had a funny way of repeating itself.

* * *

Hope this wasn't too terribly boring. I noticed it was a lot of long paragraphs and not a plethora of dialogue... hmm... But next chapter will be the Shinobi Social, the resolution of Asuma's kiss, and hopefully Ebisu's kiss. I have a feeling it's going to be an extra long chapter, so look forward to that!

I'm currently going through quite a few big life changes. I ended a 2 year relationship a couple weeks ago, am planning to move from the place I've been in for 6 years, planning a new business venture and a cross-country trip... sooo, I've got a lot on my plate, and since I like to write chapters in large chunks, I'm often at a loss for several hours worth of time to sit down and get out the ideas all at once. But I'll really try to get the next chapter up within the next month. The start of July is when things are really gonna start going down, so I'd like to get you a nice, long, interesting chapter before then!

Peace!

**DixieGoddess**


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